Comments on: Home-Loving

By: Natalie

Natalie — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 19:33:03 +0000

This is just the kick in the hiney I needed. My idleness is now internet blogging. I have half my home in shambles, the other half looking okay. I have a very displeased husband and a 6 month old baby girl watching my every move. I wasn’t raised to be neat/clean. We had someone always picking up after us. Alternately, my husband’s mother is a clean freak, you can eat off her floors and open any closet.

Thanks for the motivation. I am going to read this post every day for the next month.

By: Violet Johnson

Violet Johnson — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 21:46:42 +0000

Fortunately, the hardcover IS in print. Here’s a link:

http://www.amazon.com/Home-Comforts-Science-Keeping-House/dp/068481465X/ref=sr_oe_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1208900575&sr=1-1

I agree. It’s a wonderful book.

By: Megan

Megan — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 23:02:42 +0000

I, like several of you, didn’t have great opportunities to learn the domestic arts growing up, though my mother taught me what she knew (which wasn’t much, having grown up in relative poverty in rural East Tennessee). I found the idea of making and keeping a home absolutely daunting. Thankfully, when my husband and I got married, an older lady in our church gave me a wonderful book called _Home Comforts: The Art and Science of Keeping House_ by Cheryl Mendelson. She is a philosopher-cum-homemaker, who wrote this book after struggling for some time with the same things discussed here. If you (like me) feel unequipped for the many tasks for keeping a home, this book is an excellent resource. The author includes an introduction, or a chapter or two (I can’t remember exactly) explaining how she came to embrace homemaking and keeping house, and why it is important. She doesn’t approach it from a Christian standpoint, but much of what she says jives with our worldview.

Mrs. Mendelson covers everything — and I do mean everything — one could want in terms of “how to’s,” but without being insistent that there is only one “right” way to do things. Setting a table, folding sheets (I must say, when I got married I had NO idea how one person could fold a queen-size fitted sheet by herself!), tricky stain-removal, how long different things keep in your pantry, legalese in home buying/renting, making a will, etc. I’ve never had a question that her book hasn’t been able to answer. It is an absolute treasure trove of information.

The hardcover edition is out of print, but you can find it on used book websites like http://www.alibris.com. The paperback is probably available at most of the big chain booksellers. I’m a big fan of the hardcover — mine is starting to get a tad worn after just 4 years of marriage, so I can’t imagine what it would look like had I gotten the paperback!

I hope this kind of blatant advertising isn’t forbidden here. I just think this book is too good to pass up!

By: Brandi H.

Brandi H. — Mon, 02 Jul 2007 19:58:42 +0000

All of my married girlfriends and I struggle with this. We spent the first 20 years of our lives being prepared for careers, with the assumption that the “housewife and mommy” stuff would just kick in instinctively when the time came. Guess what? I’m chafing and bucking under this yoke, not used to it at all. By the way, I went to medical school, finished that just fine. It’s these dirty dishes I can’t handle….where do they keep coming from??
My mom is an unbelievable homemaker, but I wish she had taught me. She wanted me to have “opportunities.” I believe she was deceived by our culture’s disrespect for women and their work, made to feel that there was something better out there for her daughters than the drudgery and anonymity of “just a housewife.” The one benefit for me is that this really feels like a choice that I’ve made, and I don’t think it always felt that way to the women of my mom’s generation. Thanks, Nancy, for your hard work on this blog. I’m beginning to think of my housework as ministry, but I have a thick skull, and it’s taking awhile to really convince myself.

By: Billie

Billie — Fri, 01 Jun 2007 17:51:56 +0000

Oh, I love a room once it’s vacuumed, it’s the doing it part that gets me! Heavy vacuums, and the ever changing sport of how to get it done with toddlers… One cries, the other chases, and the other tries to eat the cord! It’s an olympic sport around here–or ought to be–and I’m still trying to learn how to enjoy it.

By: Natalie Short

Natalie Short — Thu, 31 May 2007 15:05:52 +0000

Mmmm, I love to vacuum. It’s so easy and to my mind it makes such a difference in a room. Dishes….the title of my blog pretty much says it all. Don’t like ‘em!

Thanks for the encouragement. Like Renae I wasn’t trained to like homemaking but rather the opposite. With a patient husband and a very dear friend (his mom) and a lot of help from the Lord I’m slowly getting things together.

By: Billie

Billie — Fri, 25 May 2007 12:24:11 +0000

Nancy, as always, thank you for your encouragment and wisdom!! I SO need this!

Valerie, thanks for those links! I especially liked the one about the monotony reminding us of how God forgives us over and over and over and over… I often have profound thoughts like that while pulling weeds, but my heart turns sour over vacuuming! This is so good!

By: Valerie (Kyriosity)

Valerie (Kyriosity) — Thu, 24 May 2007 16:51:25 +0000

I so need this sort of ongoing encouragement in this area. I've started a collection of quotes on domesticity and diligence to keep encouraging thoughts like this in an easily accessible place!

By: Renae

Renae — Thu, 24 May 2007 16:07:14 +0000

I've wondered over the past 15 years or so of marriage why I struggle so much as a "homemaker." Part of it, I've discovered, begun to own, and been praying about, is that I don't want to do this stuff, that my dark heart has been saying, "No way! I want to do what I want to do!" (Then I sing to myself, "Lord, help me to hoooold out / Until my chaaange comes." Or something like that.) The other thing I've discovered is that I've been beating myself up for not knowing how to do home-based activities and I've been wearing myself out doing them inefficiently, incorrectly, unskillfully. I realized a few years ago that although I may have the ability to do these things, I don't have the skill to do them because I have never been properly trained. This isn't a criticism of my mother, though, just a realization that I've never sought out a home-based mentor (because it's never occurred to me) and no one's ever offered themselves up for the position (because I've never advertised?). So now I find myself in the position of being a mother of 4 children and being of an age at which I'm closer to the "older women" than the "younger women." In fact, my oldest daughter is very interested in learning homemaking skills such as cooking and sewing, laundry and home organization. So, through God's strength (because I have none of my own!) I am learning to do and teach at the same time. And develop the right heart attitude to go along with it. More mercy! (This is partly why I am enjoying your site, admonishment that is encouraging, not discouraging.)