I may as well plug a book I’m reading, even though I haven’t finished it. It’s not a Christian book, but it is a surprisingly wise book, and you’ve probably heard of it: Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, by John Gray. Of course, coming from a secular writer, there will be things you dismiss as you go. But despite that, I have learned quite a bit.
Doug and I have taught on the differences between men and women for years, but this book really takes it to another level. He pushes things into the corners, explaining in very practical and helpful ways how men and women think differently. And of course if we understand the differences, we can get along much better. As Christians, we have God’s Word and grace and Spirit to help us. So if we can learn some more common sense to boot, we have a tremendous advantage in understanding one another. Continue reading ‘Speaking Martian’
I’m reading a delightful book called Bed and Board by the charming and wacky Robert Farrar Capon. There is so much good stuff (mixed in with the occasional bad) that I really must share some samples from his chapter on Roles where he is discussing motherhood and fatherhood. It is simply spectacular. First a few things about fatherhood.
“Be their teacher. And expect a lot from them. Avoid, of course, the mistake of demanding they learn things you don’t give a hang about…But if you’re honestly wild about math or letters, music or shopwork, give them both barrels and make them sit still for it. They will gripe and you will get grouchy, but if you really love it, something will rub off that will stay with them like the smell of fresh bread. So don’t be afraid to demand your kind of stuff of them. They aren’t going to see that many people who care. It would be nice if their father could be one. It would be something to hold in their hands all their lives.
Be their Lover. Give yourself, your humor, your small talk, and the minor affections of your hands and eyes. Don’t keep it all in the solemn now-let’s-you-and-Daddy-talk -about-your-report-card vein. Give them the best of your offhand style. Let your sons Continue reading ‘Bed and Board’
Here is Judah, defending all attackers against the Strawberry Shortcake Hat.
One of the things I appreciate about the Scriptures’ requirement for wives to submit to their husbands is the wording of the command. “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord” (Col. 3:18; Eph. 5:22).; “and the wife see that she reverence her husband” (Eph. 5:33).
In these verses, the duty is given to the wives to see that they are doing this submission/reverence thing. It is not given to the husband to see that the wife is being submissive. And the other thing I must mention is that wives are to submit to their own husbands, not anyone else’s. In other words, this is a duty rendered strictly from wife to husband, not women to men, and it is a duty a wife is to oversee herself.
Often, and sadly, my husband and I have noticed that the men who are “into” authority and submission, are often themselves the most unsubmissive members of the church. They claim to understand submission when it comes to those who are under their authority (their wives, children, or employees), but they fail to submit themselves to the authority of the elders or the civil authorities. If the elders make a decision, these are the men who refuse to comply. They are the men who make a stink. But woe to their own wives or children if they disagree with dad. Continue reading ‘Submission Requires Courage’
Furnishing a house completely from scratch while you’re living in it is no day at the beach. Problems arise and snags occur. For instance, how do you prioritize which is more important . . . beds for kids or kitchen knives? This is a harder question than it looks. Kids are perfectly happy in their little bower of cushions, and yet attempting to cook virtually anything at all with only one very dull steak knife is a near impossibility and can almost (note I said almost) reduce a person to tears of exasperation. And yet somehow it seems frivolous and self-centered to go out on a shopping expedition for kitchen knives when the kids have no beds to their names . . . you see what I’m saying?
And things get more and more complicated because, say you’ve decided that the most important thing to be working on is the beds. So you do that. You work on the beds. You check every website, visit stores, look on ebay . . . and while on ebay you find a stunning deal on a piano, right here in town only 2 miles away! Steal of the century, and the kids are going to need lessons anyway. What to do? Well of course you buy the piano (and then commence with the headache of how to move it across town).
But meanwhile you still haven’t gotten kitchen knives OR beds . . . and then a friend takes you to a “swap shop†where you can take what you want for free. And there’s an almost unlimited supply of absolute junk, but tucked away under a pile of old dead Tupperware and ugly curtains there is a completely gorgeous antique side table. So you snag it, take it home, and now you have a side table, a piano in name only, and still no beds or knives. Then two days later you find a perfectly terrific floor lamp – carved mahogany with a barley twist post – for less than 2 pounds. So in it comes, and there you have it. More items that were WAY down the list . . . but then again, there they are – so you grab them while you have the chance. See what I’m saying? It’s a tricky business. Continue reading ‘Project Misfire’
When my husband was in the military, he got a good understanding of authority. His commanding officers were to be saluted and yes-sir-ed , not because they were better at chess or got higher SAT scores, but because they were wearing the uniform with all the stars on the shoulders. They bore the responsibility and assumed authority. And if the man wearing the uniform was a very bad man, my husband would salute the uniform for what it stood for, not the man wearing it.
When God gives husbands the authority in a marriage, He also gives them the responsibility that goes with it. Wives are to submit to their husbands and treat them with respect out of reverence to God, not because husbands have higher IQ’s or bigger wing spans.
In a similar way, when God says the husband is the head of the wife, this is not because a Continue reading ‘Job Assignments’
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