Comments on: Let It Ride

By: Lynn

Lynn — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 23:13:17 +0000

Going back to a comment on the little girls and competition…
If a grown woman is being competitive, what do you do? If find yourself avoiding her or downplaying the amount or quality of things you do so as not to trigger a response, do you say something or try to cover it? It is like an elephant in the room.

By: Cherish

Cherish — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 12:49:50 +0000

I totally agree with you here! Sometimes we are so keen to point out and judge people because the flaws that we see but we dont know the pain they experience or the heart struggles they are dealing with. So i have decided to let it ride, sometimes I have to keep repeating it to myself inorder to remid myself to exercise grace over and over though it hurts but Jesus loves them too.

By: Jessica and Ashley

Jessica and Ashley — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 01:28:18 +0000

Thank you for this post! I work with mostly females and I see this happen all the time. I am going to print this post out so that I can refer to it. This is something that I have been trying to work on. If some one is not in sin why should what they do bother me? I just need to let it ride!
Thank you,
Jessica

By: maddie

maddie — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 02:28:02 +0000

Re: the immodest woman…Aak!…not a fun situation and yet not a terribly uncommon one! I have a very good friend who was a brand new believer when she started attending our church. She is also very beautiful…so therefore, would be noticed no matter what she wore. She did not dress modestly and over time (not terribly long, maybe within six months) she began to dress in an appropriate way. Turns out, our very wise and gracious pastor had been talking to her…and God used what he had to say to change her thoughts on dress! This was such a great example to me that 1.) my pastor is aware and doing just what he is supposed to be doing without us necessarily knowing…and 2.) done in the right way, by the right person, God does use the words of fellow believers to make one aware of their sin.

By: Nancy Ann

Nancy Ann — Sat, 24 Jan 2009 20:51:31 +0000

Daisy and Kathleen,
I agree with you both that making application on this principle requires wisdom in each and every situation. There is just not a one-size-fits-all for who and how each situation should be addressed. But here are a couple of thoughts/questions for you to consider.
Does the church you mention not practice discipline out of principle? If not, then that is a church that is asking for infection. Discipline protects the body and is not primarily the means of restoring the sinner (though that is always to be hoped for). So a church that refuses to discipline its own members is not one I would attach myself to.
But it is also possible that in each of the cases of divorce that you mention, there has been real repentance. Sometimes the church leadership has addressed issues and the guilty parties have sought forgiveness. In such cases, church discipline is not required, and it is possible that the congregation at large does not know what has happened behind the scenes. Maybe the pastor or elders have been working diligently on these things, but no one else is aware of it.
That said, I suggest that your husband ask the pastor about the woman who is making the announcements at church while dressed inappropriately.
And, of course, if you have a relationship with a neighbor or friend, then you may have the open door to ask questions yourself. That is a case where I suggest prayer first, asking God for an opportunity.

By: Kathleen

Kathleen — Sat, 24 Jan 2009 20:31:06 +0000

Daisy has touched a hot spot…I have wondered this many times, especially with the issue of modesty. I know there is a HUGE gamut of convictions among God-fearing believers, and I do not even rank among the more conservative of those, but when a good friend wears a sun dress that shows cleavage while she is standing up talking (to the Sunday morning service) and other revealing tops regularly, should I speak to her? I have TOTALLY avoided this, claiming that it was the leadership’s role, not mine…don’t want to but should I? I know my husband for one avoids talking to her and her family because of the distraction of her clothing.
I am so afraid of being one of those “nit-pickers.”

By: Emily

Emily — Sat, 24 Jan 2009 05:50:10 +0000

Jenny,

I have found this same habitual picking tendency in my eldest son–especially towards his brother (next-in-line sibling). I recently started wondering whether he hasn’t seen this ‘picking’ in me as I shepherd him. In my zeal to help him walk in the Lord’s ways, I think perhaps I have forgotten that it is not I who sanctify him! Obviously, this is a fine line to walk since as parents we ARE called to correct our children, but I suppose I’m simply stating that my eyes have been opened to watching HOW I correct, and in which contexts, being more careful not to use parenting as a pretext for picking specks from his eyes that should perhaps be matters of prayer and example more than direct instruction.

By: Daisy

Daisy — Sat, 24 Jan 2009 01:52:53 +0000

I agree 100% with your post and agree with the comments as well.

However, I wonder how far we take this. My husband ad I have never attended a church that engaged in church discipline (we are both preacher’s kids).

In our previous church of 12 years, our small group Sunday School class had 5 couples divorce over extra-marital affairs with other members of the church! I wonder if someone had lovingly pulled them aside when problems first cropped up, if those marriages might could have been saved.

So who’s job is it and how do you go about it? My husband pulled aside our Christian neighbor and in love said, “Hey, I notice you are driving with and keeping late work hours with your female co-worker and I’m telling you it doesn’t look good.” The neighbor was shocked that my husband even said anything, because honestly, no one says anything anymore.

By: Jenny

Jenny — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 23:56:43 +0000

Thanks for the encouragement. Competition didn’t even cross my mind. We can hardly wait to be part of Christ Church’s fellowship!

By: Kendra

Kendra — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 22:52:27 +0000

I absolutely, totally agree with you.

We tell our children, “If it’s an issue of sin, then go to your brother in humility. But if it’s just a matter of preference, bite your tongue and ask God for the grace to let it ride.”

I’m also a huge believer in the fact that I was not called to raise other people’s children. We make choices for our own, based on our own convictions, but if our neighbor makes a different choice, then that’s their business before God.