I agree that God oversees conception. I guess I just don’t see that the IVF process challenges that assumption because God is still overseeing–He is still the author of life. IVF doesn’t allow us to get around God–we are still utterly at his mercy to bless the effort.

Just wanted to offer a different perspective on what I think is a tricky issue. Thanks.

“But once you allow the professionals to start fertilizing little eggs in a petri dish, you are playing God. And you are introducing ethical dilemmas into an area where you are seriously over your head.”

Can I just ask, with due respect, what makes this ethical dilemma over our heads? God has given us minds to use and his Spirit to guide us. The suggestion that this is “over our heads” seems to imply that laziness is okay (i.e.., the absence of rigorous examination of a difficult issue). It tells me that what is comfortable is more important than what is true (i.e., most of us FEEL uncomfortable with IVF because it seems so invasive, impersonal, etc., but is it, in truth different from many other life-giving medical advances we regularly benefit from? Maybe, maybe not. The issue demands careful study, not hasty, unsupported condemnation.) The direction to “keep your life simple”, is, of course, in many areas good advice. However, when it refers to searching out matters that require careful, Spirit-guided consideration, I think it is unhelpful. “Keep it simple” seems to me to be a veiled way of saying, “Don’t bother trying to understand something hard, especially if it’s something you’re not used to”. How does that aid in the effort toward wisdom and understanding?

And, just for clarity’s sake, can I emphasize that IVF does not in any way REQUIRE the flushing of fertilized eggs? I know you didn’t say that it did, but I think some might be led to believe that it does after reading this post.

May the Lord richly bless you, Jen.

This post has caused me to think about one of the wisest women I know, my great aunt Norma. Though I never really realized it until I was an adult, she had many afflictions throughout her life. Her mother died on Christmas Eve when she was eleven, she was single until she was thirty-five, she suffered one miscarriage and remained childless thereafter, her husband died relatively young after battling cancer for several years, and she has now been a widow living on her own for over twenty years.

No one would ever guess any of these things upon meeting her, however. She is no complainer and has consistently throughout her life as you said Nancy, “turned a profit on her circumstances.” Single until age 35? Lived all over the US, befriending all kinds of women whom she is still in contact with today. Never had any children of her own? Opened up her home to all of her nieces and nephews and their subsequent children, making them all feel like her own children and grandchildren. Widowed at a young age? Goes out to lunch every Sunday with newly-widowed women at her church and serves to encourage them. Her sister, my great aunt Lorraine, had this same perspective on life too. I won’t go into detail except to say that she never married but did great work for the Salvation Army and made many, many beautiful quilts in her day.

So thank you again, Nancy and Jen, for these reminders! I hope to possess as much wisdom as the two of you and my two great aunts one day. =)

(And if anybody else shares my predilection for wondering about phrases like “whys and wherefores,” this will satisfy your curiosity.)

For what it’s worth, ladies, here are my thoughts. The Lord custom-builds our trials. He knows our frames. He promises grace every day, and never gives what can’t be handled through that grace. As one who is in year six of infertility, I am acquainted with every emotion this affliction offers. But the Lord is sweeter to me because of it. Every year that goes by, the list-of-things-learned becomes more beautiful as it lenghtens. But the bottom line (and most important) is, my life isn’t about me. It isn’t my life at all – it’s Christ’s life in me. It’s His story, not mine, and if He omits children from the screenplay, will I pout? Will I kick and scream, throw a pity party, tell God goodbye? Unthinkable. The only appropriate reaction left, then, is joy. Not only do I not want to curse God’s work, I want to EXTOL it!

As encouragement for any who need it, God delights in giving grace for this. He DOES give grace to throw down the idol and surrender it to Him. Don’t grasp for it; let it go. Though you are yet (and maybe always) a family of two, you are free to live robustly in His joy. And if you ask for joy, He WILL give it.