When you are driving down the road, and you’re thinking of changing lanes, you have to do a head check, because if you don’t, bad things can happen. Your mirror won’t show a car if it is right smack in the middle of your blind spot.
In the same way, we all have personal blindspots. We think we see, but there is something very large and very near that we are completely missing. We’re on a collision course, and if we do not proceed with caution, we are going to get clobbered or we’re going to clobber someone else.
Some of our blindspots are those little quirky things that are not sinful. It gives our loved ones something to overlook (or even love) about us. But sometimes a blindspot is a snare that causes real trouble. And often we are guilty of the very same blindspot that annoys us in others. We get bothered when they move their car over without looking, but we are guilty of cutting off cars regularly ourselves, and we seldom notice it.
Let me give you some made-up examples of this kind of blindspot. You get annoyed when someone interrupts you, but you interrupt others. You think your husband doesn’t listen to you, but when he asks you to do something, you forget. You hate it when your mom tells you what to do, but you boss your little sister like crazy. You think your husband is not meeting your needs, and meanwhile, you know nothing of his.
This can be a particular problem in the area of communication. Let’s say a wife is wanting to improve communication with her husband. (Know any women who want to do that?) Nothing wrong with that. Okay so far. But if she has a blind spot here, her plan won’t include how she can become a better communicator by drawing her husband out, asking him questions, or listening to what he has to say. Rather, it will be more about how he can become a better communicator (which means listening to her), meeting her need for communication. And I probably don’t need to tell you that this can drive a husband crazy.
The best way to deal with blind spots is to begin by asking God to show them to you. Most of the readers of this blog are probably the kind of women who want to know what their blindspots are because they want to grow in godliness. So ask God first. Pray for wisdom. Then, if you’re up to it, ask your husband. But don’t do this first unless you are absolutely sure you are up to the response. If you ask your husband about a blindspot, and he gives you an honest answer, and then you get your feelings hurt….it’s unproductive. Next time you ask, he’ll think twice about telling you what he really thinks. So ask God to show you, and then take action on the areas that are in front of you. Keep it between you and God.
Meanwhile, be open when others offer unsolicited input. If you get prickly or defensive at such times, then this area just might be one of your blindspots. A wise woman receives correction. Thank the person bringing it and be willing to pray about it. Blind spots really are blind. We really can’t see them. We have to ask God to open our eyes, and I’m pretty sure that’s a prayer He likes to answer.