We’ve all heard of Bride-zilla, and we may have even seen one or (horrors!) been one. Bride-zilla is the stereotype of the bride who is self-absorbed to the extreme, impatient with anyone who is messing with “her day” by bringing the wrong color mints or the wrong size boutonnieres or flubbing up in a host of ways that are not exactly as she ordered or dreamed of. The wedding is all about her, not her parents, her guests, or even her groom. She is distracted by her wanting to please herself.
I once had the pleasure of seeing the polar opposite of the bride-zilla, and that was a sweet bride whose groom had the flu and had to sit down during the ceremony. Then, he was so ill that he had to miss the reception entirely while she carried on! She was amazing! She pulled it off gracefully and graciously, more concerned with him than for herself. She danced with her dad and tossed her bouquet, not ruining the party for her guests by throwing a tantrum fit or a self-pity party.
Recently I’ve been noticing what I might call a mom-zilla counterpart to the bride-zilla. Have you ever noticed how much fussing goes on about childbirth? Blogs and Facebook posts are crowded with women fussing about “their day” of giving birth. It must be just so, and how dare anyone give birth or expect a woman to give birth in such a manner as to interfere with the perfect surroundings?
I’ve seen fussing about doctors, about hospitals, about tubs or lack of tubs, about midwives or lack of midwives, about pain-killers, and monitors. You would think it was the prom rather than bringing forth a child. It is just one more opportunity to become a self-absorbed fusser. And some women get to fuss over and over and over with each child. At least Bride-zilla just has one opportunity.
Childbirth has become quite the controversial topic, and women can become dictatorial about what they want, even to the point of demanding that other women want the same things. Of course we all have to make choices, and as we do, may God bless us all. But we ought to be content with other people’s choices and let it go. Our fellowship is in Christ, not in our birthing choices.
Gratitude is always a good antidote to fussing. Thank God that we have options about where and how to give birth. Thank God that we have different preferences. Thank God that our babies have a much better survival rate than at any other time in history!
It seems obvious that childbirth should be about the baby. But so often it seems as though it’s more about mom and her experience of birthing baby than about the baby itself.
Children are a gift of God, a reward, a blessing. Let’s have less fussing at one another about how the gift arrives, and more rejoicing over the fact of the blessing!