10 Reasons to be Glad When Your Husband is Slandered

*Though this may apply to all kinds of husbands, it is particularly the case when your husband is a minister.

1. It makes him look good.

Of course it does! Karen Grant said that “big lights attract big bugs” and if there are some big uglies out there around the light, well, he must be big enough to be a threat to bring out all the bugs. And the light usually sticks around longer than the bugs.

2. It makes you grateful.

I never thought to thank my husband for not being a racist. Of course, if he had been a racist, I never would have married him. But once people start calling him one, then I find I have one more blessing to thank God for.

3. It’s a good sign.

It’s a danger sign, according to Scripture, when everyone only has nice things to say about you. (Luke 6:26)

4. It’s a reason for a party.

If Jesus says we are to rejoice and be exceeding glad when people spread lies about us, then that means God wants us to throw a party! (Matthew 5:11-12)

5. It’s God’s way of a promotion.

1 Peter 4:14 says that when we are reproached for the name of Christ, the Spirit of glory and of God rests on us. Now that’s a promotion!

6. You are in good company!

Jesus was slandered, Paul was slandered, and most, if not all, of the prophets and apostles were slandered. What great preacher was not slandered? Your husband must be doing something right.

7. It’s a sign that your opponents are desperate.

Well, think about it. If the true stuff about your husband is not going to start a riot, then the troublemakers have to make up some spicy stuff. It’s the oldest device in the world, seeing that it started with the devil. And lies are the language of the devil.

8. It reveals who your friends really are.

Nothing like a good controversy to test loyalties. You may be surprised at which of your friends are hitting the “like” button on your slanderer’s post. But, it’s good to know now rather than later.

9. Believe it or not, your church will be healthier for it.

When your congregation sees your husband stand firm, it gives them great confidence.

10. It gives your daughters opportunities to write some awesome blog posts!

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33 Responses to “10 Reasons to be Glad When Your Husband is Slandered”


  • That’s grace under fire.

  • Well stated. Thank you for all you alls example. It is blessing to watch God’s people go through the muck of life in Truth with dignity. Thank you.

  • So good! Sharing with my mother, who has walked a similar road. It’s not fun to see our husbands attacked.

  • God bless you and your family at this time. You have raised amazing children.

  • Well said. That great quote from pride and prejudice comes to mind “what do we live for but to make sport for our neighbors”.

  • I can understand you wanting to protect your husband. But he was not being “reproached for the name of Christ.” Another Christian spoke up about something that he wrote that she disagreed with. While you may not think she was right, it doesn’t mean he was being “persecuted.”

  • Well said Mrs W!

  • Never thought about the fact that just hitting the “like” button is a way of showing who you’re with. I’m on this team!

  • Dear Elle,

    When someone’s motives are privately or publicly called into question and their reputation is at stake because of words they have/have not spoken (or written) and/or things they have/have not done in the name of Christ, they are either reproached for the name of Christ or bring reproach upon Christ.

    According to Wikipedia, “Defamation—also called calumny, vilification, traducement, slander (for transitory statements), and libel (for written, broadcast, or otherwise published words)—is the communication of a statement that makes a claim, expressly stated or implied to be factual, that may give an individual, business, product, group, government, or nation a negative image. This can be also any disparaging statement made by one person about another, which is communicated or published, whether true or false, depending on legal state.”

    This is our common understanding of these terms; however, the Bible would have us resolve such matters among ourselves instead of the courts, as I’m sure you know. For us, who are to judge angels, the principles for doing so are carefully defined. I, for one, find these types of unseemly exchanges becoming all too common in the Church universal. May the Lord keep His church holy and grant us the wisdom to conduct ourselves in a way that is worthy of Him, as we advance His kingdom in this digital age.

    With love,

    Lori

  • I, for one, have progressively been enjoying Douglas Wilson’s writings more and more over the past couple of years and lately (this week) I have liked him more than ever. When’s the party?!

  • I just have to say that I am so challenged by your husband and father of your girls to raise my children in a way that glorifies and honors God. We have mostly boys (3) and one girl and are currently reading Future Men. Thank you to your whole family for making social sacrifices to help equip young families in the good work of raising men and women passionate for Christ. It is not going unnoticed.

  • I’m sorry that you’ve had to experience any #8′s. That’s hurtful when you thought someone was your friend. :(

  • I’m always impressed by how you all manage to not get bent out of shape. God’s grace is so apparently abundant in your lives.

  • Nancy, I have always loved how cheerful and confident you and your girls are, even under trial! What’s the secret to thick skin? :)

  • Rose (Lortz) Spears

    Like someone else said up above, I’m on this team! Love your posts and love you as a wonderful example of a gracious Christian lady.

  • Lori,

    As an attorney who specializes in Slander and Libel law, I find your comment to be very interesting. You found the correct Wikipedia article (congratulations on that by the way) but you neglected to mention a pertinent part.

    “Opinion is a defense recognized in nearly every jurisdiction. If the allegedly defamatory assertion is an expression of opinion rather than a statement of fact, defamation claims usually cannot be brought because opinions are inherently not falsifiable.” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defamation#cite_note-29 (Citing
    Milkovich v. Lorain Journal Co., 497 U.S. 1 (1990).

    I’m glad you mention leaving to God these issues rather than the courts. Especially given what Scripture says in Mark 9 verse 42:

    “And whosoever shall offend one of these little ones that believe in me, it is better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he were cast into the sea.”

    AS far as I see it, God will be far more judgmental of those who condone and promote rape, then the courts would ever be. On thy own heads be it.

  • It must hurt seeing your loved ones being criticised and I would certainly stand with them as you are doing. It is also understandable that you would feel that he is ‘under attack’ as not all the responses to him have been gracious, loving and wise.

    However, not all disagreement or criticism should be immediately dismissed as ‘persecution’. Yes, your husband is well-known and therefore more exposed to criticism. But if there is a loud hurting cry from hundreds of fellow evangelicals, it is also possible that there is merit in what they say. Maybe this time it does not mean that he has done something right and that his critics are ‘desperate’ – maybe his choices of words have just unintentionally hurt people and he needs to look at this words again.

    When would we learn if all criticism is called ‘persecution’ or an ‘attack’ instead?

  • Over the summer I have been reading both sides of the patriarchy/quiverfull/legalism controversy in the church and here is my 1/2 cent opinion.

    I am glad there are choices in the christian world…some families choose to teach their daughters to be wives and mothers, not to use birth control, to let their daughters stay at home with the only education being home arts and parents choose their spouses and they teach that it is the best choice according to how they interpret scripture.

    I agree that is but ONE choice available to christian families…a choice, not a rigid directive that if not followed 100% constitutes sin! How can a black African christian woman living in poverty even begin to live up to any quiverfull/patriarchy way of life when her existing children are starving?

    So if a christian family says it is ok for their daughters to work outside the home, wear pants, or go to college I can see no Bible commandment saying that is wrong.

    Each side should respect and pray for the other, but I see what is beginning to look like an infight. I see the christian world in a big fight with (Paul vs. Silas) each other over and not the real enemy who by the way is laughing at us for being so unloving and unaccepting of our differences.

    Jesus said His yoke is easy and His burden light. He made it so simple- Love God, love your neighbor, follow Him.

    His plan for my life does not look like His plan for your life.

  • Dear John,

    I’m grateful for the clarification and I believe it adds value. I don’t practice law and I certainly don’t specialize in any aspect of it–nor do I claim to do so. I was merely providing a layman’s definition of the aforementioned terms to create a visual reference for my point.

    For the record, I wasn’t siding in favor of REH nor against Doug Wilson. I was responding to Elle’s comment. I have been following the Femina blog for some time now and I am a regular commenter.

    I read Beckah’s initial post a few times, RHE’s post, the responses linked to TGC’s post, as well as a slew of comments. I read all of the subsequent posts by the Wilson ladies, and what questions I had initially were addressed by Beckah in them. I never doubted Doug Wilson’s character or credibility; however, I found Bekah’s satirical retort in need of greater consideration and am still inclined to believe her explanation of that response was more effective. Nevertheless, I defer to the Lord, acknowledging that my ways are not His ways, that He has created us all with different personalities and testimonies and such. I trust that Bekah sought wisdom from the Lord and counsel from trusted advisors. It’s neither my trial nor my blog.

    Having said that, I have a firm grasp of the Five Solas and all that the Reformers held dear, as I too hold them dear and have for many years now. I felt burdened to express what has been troubling my heart for some time in regard to the way in which the church interacts with one another on the internet. I stand by what I said. If it convicted or comforted others, that is of the Holy Spirit. I spoke in generalizations associated with this specific situation, but not specific to this situation.

    With love,

    Lori

  • By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God, and keep his commandments.

    For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments: and his commandments are not grievous. (1 John 5:2-3)

    Just wanted to add what the love of God, loving our neighbors, and following Him look like.

    By the way, Mrs. Wilson, fantastic post. You have the attitude of a good soldier :-)

  • As G.K.Chesterton said in ORTHODOXY, “Satire may be mad and anarchic, but it presupposes an admitted superiority in certain things over others; it presupposes a standard.”

    As co-grandparents with Doug and Nancy to Heather and Nate’s five kids,we are grateful for the standard set and the joy found in upholding it.

    I am loving the example of the aunties, as well. As I read Bekah’s last post,”Splashing into it Again!” I could not help but think of another GKC quote,“I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean.”

    Lots of love!

  • Nancy, left a comment on Bekah’s post, but adding a bit here, too. Thanks for the post, thanks for you and yours, and much love and, in Bekah’s words, “cheerful waving” sent your way from Minnesota!

  • Grace upon grace upon your lovely family.

    We love you and are grateful for you.

  • Excellent Top Ten List!
    Your husbands ministry has made a profound impact on my life, family, and ministry. I know that his work is enhanced by a great wife who stands in his corner. Thank you!

  • This is so delusional is to be laughable. I know complementarian fundamentalist conservative brainwashing when I see it.

  • I’m sorry, but your family’s derisive response to the offense accomplishes the very opposite of making you look good.

    Jared Wilson has shown grace and humility by apologizing: http://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/gospeldrivenchurch/2012/07/20/some-reflections-just-one-explanation-and-apologies/ While I’m sure appearances were not his intent, it looks a whole lot better than continuing to mock the people you’ve hurt.

  • Your husband was not slandered. Goodness, you folks love to play the martyr card. There must be something strange in the water in Moscow! Doug’s book was quoted and people questioned the wording – that’s all. It’s funny, Doug likes to be brash and, at times, offensive toward others. Amazing how it works when the shoe is on the other foot… But, that’s again for proving what the rest of Christendom already knew.

  • Scott, did you not read any of the comments in which Doug was called a sex pervert, racist, et al, ad nauseum?

    Now I understand that those comments don’t reflect the thinking of everyone who took exception to the quote from the original blog post. But they *were* said and therefore he *was* slandered.

  • And on that note- Have an absolutely FANTASTIC Sabbath celebration with your whole clan. We, the Comis clan love you all, and have been blessed, challenged, and changed beyond recognition by your faithful work and living.

    We are so grateful for the heart and brain washing we have undergone, by the hand of God, and under your influence. Keep it comin!

  • Easy Scott,

    you said

    “Doug’s book was quoted and people questioned the wording – that’s all.”

    But then you say

    “Doug likes to be brash and, at times, offensive toward others. Amazing how it works when the shoe is on the other foot”

    Doesn’t sound like they were just questioning the wording then does it?

  • Thanks for this. These are things I need to remember, as a pastor’s wife.

    Had to laugh at number 10. Yes, “well done” to your girls.

  • Amen Nancy! Go, fight, win! And yes, amazing, thoughtful posts from both girls, too – excellent, in fact. :)

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