In the same way, we all have personal blindspots. We think we see, but there is something very large and very near that we are completely missing. We’re on a collision course, and if we do not proceed with caution, we are going to get clobbered or we’re going to clobber someone else.

Some of our blindspots are those little quirky things that are not sinful. It gives our loved ones something to overlook (or even love) about us. But sometimes a blindspot is a snare that causes real trouble. And often we are guilty of the very same blindspot that annoys us in others. We get bothered when they move their car over without looking, but we are guilty of cutting off cars regularly ourselves, and we seldom notice it.

Let me give you some made-up examples of this kind of blindspot. You get annoyed when someone interrupts you, but you interrupt others. You think your husband doesn’t listen to you, but when he asks you to do something, you forget. You hate it when your mom tells you what to do, but you boss your little sister like crazy. You think your husband is not meeting your needs, and meanwhile, you know nothing of his.

This can be a particular problem in the area of communication. Let’s say a wife is wanting to improve communication with her husband. (Know any women who want to do that?) Nothing wrong with that.  Okay so far. But if she has a blind spot here, her plan won’t include how she can become a better communicator by drawing her husband out, asking him questions, or listening to what he has to say. Rather, it will be more about how he can become a better communicator (which means listening to her),  meeting her need for communication. And I probably don’t need to tell you that this can drive a husband crazy.

The best way to deal with blind spots is to begin by asking God to show them to you. Most of the readers of this blog are probably the kind of women who want to know what their blindspots are because they want to grow in godliness. So ask God first. Pray for wisdom. Then, if you’re up to it, ask your husband. But don’t do this first unless you are absolutely sure you are up to the response. If you ask your husband about a blindspot, and he gives you an honest answer, and then you get your feelings hurt….it’s unproductive. Next time you ask, he’ll think twice about telling you what he really thinks. So ask God to show you, and then take action on the areas that are in front of you. Keep it between you and God.

Meanwhile, be open when others offer unsolicited input. If you get prickly or defensive at such times, then this area just might be one of your blindspots. A wise woman receives correction. Thank the person bringing it and be willing to pray about it.  Blind spots really are blind. We really can’t see them. We have to ask God to open our eyes, and I’m pretty sure that’s a prayer He likes to answer.

Envy is a deadly sin. It destroys households and friendships and marriages. Saul envied David. That envy didn’t destroy David, but it did destroy Saul in the end. When we nurse envy, we are nursing a viper. When we tolerate envy, we are giving it a hand in our own self-destruction.

Envy, like all sin, doesn’t make sense. So rather than trying to understand it, we should simply repent of it. Envy is a universal sin. It is not whether we will envy, but what we will envy. It is sneaky. It creeps in easily.

We can’t reason with envy because it is unreasonable. The only thing we can do with envy is crucify it, and we can’t even do that. But we can take it to the Cross where Jesus dealt with envy once and for all. We can’t crucify our own envy, but if we are in Christ, He crucified it for us. And that is good news!

The Bible is very clear about where our words come from: they come straight up from our hearts. So if something nasty comes out of our mouths, then our hearts have got some nastiness in them. No way to dodge this. In Matthew 12:4, Jesus says, “O generation of vipers, how can ye, being evil, speak good things? for out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.” And again in Luke 6:45, “A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil; for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh.”

Now how can a sweet Christian woman get angry and say “evil” things to her children? Does that mean she has “evil” in her heart? Unfortunately, that’s what it means. We all have evil in our hearts. No one is good. So we all need gospel grace day in and day out.

Here are a couple of suggestions  Think about when you are most likely to be tempted to be angry. Is it when the kids first get up in the morning? Then pray before you go to bed that you will be full of goodness and light at the breakfast table. Is it during nap time? Then pray ahead of time that you will not get angry during nap time. Expect to be tested, and be prepared. When you put the kids down for their naps, then pray, asking God to help you be obedient to Him, cheerfully correcting the children if they need it. It is entirely possible to correct with a mouth of goodness. So I’m recommending what I call preventative prayer.

But what about the times when you are blindsided? You were going along merrily and wham! you got hit by the unexpected and reacted badly. If this happens regularly, then ask God to open your eyes so you don’t have a blind side. Pray for a warning sign so you see it coming. Then expect a test and be ready for it.

If you have ongoing anger toward one person in particular, then it’s likely there may be some unconfessed bitterness and resentment toward that person, big or little, young or old. We get resentful over some of the dumbest things. Deal with the bitterness that is lodging in your heart. It’s poisoning everything! It feeds anger and needs anger.

Don’t take your children’s misbehavior personally. Don’t get into an adversarial relationship with your children. You are the mother; you are in authority over them. Don’t get your feelings hurt when they don’t listen or when they disobey. They are children! That’s what children do!

If we want wise tongues, we need wise hearts. Here are a few ways to get there.

1. Don’t be wise in your own eyes (Prov. 3:7). You may be wrong, incorrect, mistaken. Admit it.

2. Heed God’s Word. When you hear it or read it, do it. Apply it. (Prov. 16:20).

3. Be teachable (Prov. 10:8). Don’t assume you have nothing to learn.

4. Receive correction yourself (Prov. 10:17). Even when you don’t like the way the correction comes.

5. Seek knowledge and store it up (Prov. 15:14 and 10:14).

6. Let your heart be taught first, and it will teach your mouth (Prov. 16:23).

7. Don’t fake love (Prov. 10:18). Ask God for supernatural love; don’t rely on your own supply of human, fallible love.

8. Don’t talk too much. Weigh your words! (Prov. 10:19)

9. Feed people (build them up) with your mouth, and you will be fed yourself (Prov. 13:2).

10. Guard your mouth (Prov. 13:3). Pray with the psalmist: “Set a watch, O Lord, before my mouth, and keep the door of my lips.” Psalm 141:3

It’s true. God is lavish with His mercy toward us! He is the ultimate Gift-Giver, and His central gift to us is His unbounded mercy. What a lovely thought for the week. As we begin another week, built on the foundation of worship, let us all contemplate His mercies. When we wake up, when we go about our duties, when we sit down at the table, when we finish the day and lie down to sleep. Mercies crowd us on every side.

When we recognize God’s mercies, we can only respond with gratitude. And if our eyes are at all open to even a fraction of these mercies, we will be busy being grateful all day long. Imagine the consequences of such a day, busy with gratitude.

And when we overflow with gratitude to our good and gracious and gift-giving God, it follows that we will extend that grace and mercy to others — lavishly. We can do nothing else.

But God intervened in my life in 1973, the summer after my junior year of college. Not that He had been absent all those years before. But He shed His light in my heart, opened my eyes, and turned me from darkness to light. I was forgiven, washed, restored, and put right. In fact, for a minute there I was sparkly clean.

But I soon discovered that even though many of my old sinful habits were gone, and even though I was a new person, inside and out, I still had plenty of remaining sinfulness left to be dealt with.

So do you suppose I have any regrets since 1973? Have I done any dumb, foolish things? Have I made decisions that didn’t turn out the way I thought they would? Have I said stupid things I wish I hadn’t? All of these are rhetorical questions. Of course I have! But I have consistently sought God’s forgiveness for these stupid and/or sinful things. Sometimes they are truly sin (most of the time) and sometimes they are simply foolish, which may or may not be sin. Either way, I’ve put things right with God and right with others countless times. Call it an ongoing bath. Regular scrubbing. That’s what repentance is.

Real repentance seeks real forgiveness, but it can still feel like a fool. And regret is disappointment over what we’ve done. It’s what keeps us looking back, and it keeps that humiliating disappointment alive. But I believe that regret is all tangled up with pride. Pride says, “Why did I do such a stupid thing? I know better. I am not that kind. I am wiser than that. I am pretty sure that it was a momentary blip caused by hunger or hormones or not enough caffeine. I am so embarrassed.” Regret flatters us into thinking we are really better people than we are, that we would do it better if we were given another chance.

A real repentance deals with the root of the matter, which means that we humble ourselves and confess to God that we really are the kind of people who say or do stupid or foolish or sinful things. Real repentance doesn’t keep any self-respect around to enable long-term mourning over our mistakes.

So. Don’t waste your time regretting. Regret usually begins with thoughts like, “If only…” or “I wish I hadn’t…” or “If I could do that again…” It is unfruitful. It focuses on the wrong things (what might have been) rather than on what’s happening now.

We all have plenty to regret, but regret can just feed discontent and increase our sorrow. We have far more to be grateful for. So when I am tempted to feel regret, I remind myself that it is not relevant. This is chapter ten, and fussing over what happened back in chapter six will only slow me down. It’s not productive. No one wants to hear about it. It’s unfruitful. It’s clearly not a fruit of the Spirit. We learn from our mistakes (failures, etc.) so that we can press forward, not so we can look back at what might have been or not been. God is good.

And what would a New Year be without some resolutions to go with it? I have one resolution to recommend for 2012, and that is to find contentment. Contentment doesn’t change our circumstances, but it does change our hearts, which makes all our circumstances more comfortable. Our contentment does not lie in our circumstances, for if it did, we would only be able to be content when everything is going exactly as we like, which isn’t very often. Contentment is found in Christ, who will never leave us or forsake us. Contentment is found in submitting to God’s purposes and plans in our lives, even (or especially) when we don’t understand. Contentment is a way of exercising our faith.

So here are ten ways to apply contentment in 2012.

1. Be content with your story. That means your birth and upbringing, your parents and your siblings, even your ancestors. Own your people and be content that God has written all of them into your story. Don’t just be content with your story; love your story.

2. Be content with your condition. Are you married? Are you unmarried? Divorced? Widowed? Are you pregnant?  Are you not pregnant? If there is sin involved, confess it. If you already have, don’t keep on confessing the same sins. Don’t waste time on regret because it is both unfruitful and fleshly. Count your blessings and find contentment.

3. Be content with where you live: the weather, the geography, the view, the funny accents, the customs, and the history.

4. Be content with your income.

5. Be content with your health issues, even as you try to overcome them.

6. Be content with your home, how big it is or isn’t, how far it is from town or how close it is to the street.

7. Be content with your job assignment. What has God called you to do? What gifts do you have? Be content to use them to please Him.

8. Be content with your time. We all have the same allotment of twenty-four hours per day. Be content with what you can get done in them.

9. Be content with your age. A contented forty-five or sixty-five is much prettier than a discontented twenty-five.

10. Be content with your husband and your children. Don’t wish for different.

And have a very Happy New Year!

With love to you all from all of us!

First, the Magi brought Jesus gifts. And they brought Him expensive gifts. Matthew calls their gifts treasures. So gift-giving has always been associated with the story of the Incarnation.

Second, the overwhelming message of the New Testament is that God gives to us so that we can give to one another. The two commandments to love the Lord our God and love our neighbor are like two parts of a whole, like a violin and a bow or a lock and a key. We don’t just love God in our hearts; we love Him by loving our neighbor. These two things are connected. These two commands are a unit. Freely we have received; freely give!

Of course there are ways we can sin in the gift-giving. One way is by being grumpy about it. Or we can sin by giving to our neighbor instead of giving to God, and we can sin by giving to God instead of giving to our neighbor. The Pharisees did this when they didn’t give to their needy parents because they had given the money to God (Mark 7:11).

Christians can  buy into the heresy that material things are bad in themselves. This can be a trap for many Christians, because it can sound “spiritual” to say that you are not going to participate in the crowds and the materialism and the crazy gift-giving of Christmas. Some say it isn’t about Jesus at all, but simply about commercialism.  So they don’t celebrate Christmas at all. Their kids get no gifts. Instead they say they will give a gift to the poor in lieu of gifts for the kids. This sounds super-spiritual, but it can be just like the Pharisees who called the gift “corban.” Remember the White Witch in The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe? When she interrupted the animals having a little Christmas celebration, she called it gluttony and extravagance.

Our relationship to God is mirrored in our relationship with our neighbor, and our family is made up of our closest neighbors. The state of our marriage, our relationship to our kids, and our relationship to our friends and coworkers all reveal the condition of our relationship to God. If we are serious about loving God, we must be serious about loving our neighbors.

This means we act horizontally how God has acted toward us. He has given extravagantly to us, over and over again. He does not stint or ration out His grace and mercy and love toward us in tangible ways every day. We must not be like Namaan who wouldn’t stoop to be washed in the Jordan. He wanted something more “worthy” to do to be healed. We must not scoff at gift-giving as something beneath our great spirituality.

Of course this does not mean tearing around throwing away our money senselessly. We should give with wisdom. We should love the crowds of Christmas and we should love the merchants. Jesus loved the crowds and He loved to feed them. He gave them gifts of fish and bread. He gave them living water. The merchants at the mall are a form of God’s grace to us, so we should be thankful for them! Thank God for the mall and the crowded parking lot!

The best gift we can give to one another is gospel-saturated grace. When we give gifts to one another, we are giving to Jesus. He keeps track of drinks of water. So we should give our gifts with the same spirit of grace. When we give with the right spirit, Jesus says thank you. He graced us, and we imitate Him. He gave us the Holy Spirit so we would become givers and lovers like He is.

And finally, why do we wrap our gifts? So Jesus will be surprised. And we might say, “What are you talking about? Jesus isn’t surprised!” But when was Jesus hungry and thirsty or naked or in prison? When we give to one another, we give to Him.

So, we ought to load up all our gifts and laugh as we wrap them, and offer them all to Jesus in His name as we write on the tags and fill the stockings.

Isn’t God good that He lets us imitate Him in such delightful ways? And we glorify His gift to us in His birth with each gift we wrap.

God bless you as you shop. Don’t grow weary of the gift-giving. Render it all unto the Lord! And have a very Merry Christmas!