Have you ever noticed that when people self-describe they’re almost universally wrong?
Well ok, perhaps I’m being a bit pessimistic with “almost universally.” Suppose we re-phrase that into something a little less off-puttingly negative. I’m going to take another stab at it, and this time I’ll be much more encouraging and optimistic.
Have you ever noticed that when people self-describe they’re very often wrong? (I think that was much more delicately and tactfully phrased.)
I don’t mean when people say things like, “I just finished reading a book on gardening,” (which I did, coincidentally) or “I cleaned the bathroom today,” (which I ought to have), but more when they say things like, “I’m just a really ___________ kind of person.”
This can manifest itself in anyone from the marriage counselor who’s had 4 divorces (“Seriously! I’m an expert on this! Let me offer you some life-coaching!”) down to the lovely and well-meaning woman who always brings that rather revolting casserole to church potlucks because she’s convinced that it’s her specialty. (“I just knew that everyone would be so disappointed if I didn’t bring my famous Nevada Pie with extra kidney beans!”) And then of course everyone at the potluck takes a helping because no one wants to hurt her feelings, and mothers plop a serving onto their offended childrens’ plates while shooting them That Warning Look . . . and the poor deluded woman goes home perfectly satisfied in the knowledge that her Nevada Pie is treasured and loved.
I’ll never forget the man who announced that he was the “musically gifted brother” in the congregation, Continue reading ‘Curlers (and stuff)’
So here’s a little something that you didn’t actually want to know about. I stepped on a piece of glass the other week. Just a tiny little shard – I didn’t even notice it when it happened.
Yes, I know you’re gripped. Dying to find out the end of this story. “Did she get it out I wonder? Did she find the tweezers?”
Well no as a matter of fact. I kinda vaguely knew there was something in my foot but I only noticed it if I stepped on it in just the right way. I was busy. It’s Christmas. And finals week. And all that. I didn’t even have time to actually let this little glass shard bubble up into my conscious thoughts. I sort of figured I would leave it alone and it would work itself out. Plus it’s in one of those awkward corners of the foot which you can’t get a good look at, no matter how you contort yourself.
Don’t worry. I’m coming to a point. As dramatic as this all is, and as much as this is a worthy tale in its own right, I’m working up to a metaphor so bear with. Continue reading ‘Some Moralizing’
So anyways, I’m sick in bed today. Not too bad, merely coughing myself into an early grave is all. I have also lost my voice which is a great bonus because it makes me sound so much more pathetic than I actually feel. I have reached the point where I am communicating with my family via a series of squeaks and gestures. The whole thing is actually just comic, and I would pick this any day of the week over any form of stomach bug – even though I may at any moment sprain a rib with coughing.
Now that I have over-shared with you about that, you are no doubt wondering why on earth I bring this up. Why shout the news all over the interwebs that I am coughing? I’m just setting the context here. Seeing as I am sitting in bed rather than being productive and planning my Thanksgiving menu, I decided to make some Christmas labels. Every year around this point I’m still feeling optimistic about the whole Christmas package situation. Continue reading ‘Here’s hoping’
Once upon a time, in a church far, far away, there lived a not-very-attractive middle-aged woman who was terribly insecure. She seemed to both resent and fear any and all attractive women, and she also considered herself to have “the gift of rebuke.” Because of this happy combination of character traits, her duty was clear. She appointed herself as the Modesty Sheriff, and she diligently and patiently informed the women in her church whenever she felt that their skirt was too tight. Or when a slip or a strap was showing. Or if they needed to be more careful about their posture. Needless to say, no one liked her much, and behind her back she was called Cranky Fun-Buster.
But she doesn’t come into this story at all.
In a different church (your church actually) there was a very young and very cute girl. So cute, indeed, that whenever she went to the mall, random pimply teenage boys would ask for her phone number. When she walked down Main Street, truckers honked and whistled. She kinda liked it. Well ok, let’s be frank. She really liked it. Continue reading ‘Indulge me in a parable . . .’
The fashion and fabric design class starts next week – and I found out that they have extended the deadline so it’s still possible to sign up! There are a few slots in the class left – so if anyone was saying to themselves, “Durn - I missed my chance,” it turns out that you still sneak in before things get underway. Thanks to all of you who signed up! I’m looking forward to it – should be lots of fun!
So I thought it was about time that I breeze in and answer those questions about the design seminar which I promised to answer . . . oh . . . months ago now! I’ve had a bunch of people asking questions – so I’ll try and make sure I hit them all in a semi-orderly fashion.
1. What am I talking about?
Logos Press Online is offering a series of live online seminars, starting this fall. I will be teaching one on fashion and fabric design. Click here to see the video, details, etc.
2. Who is eligible to take the class?
Absolutely anyone who is interested. This design seminar would be terrific for any high school girl who is interested in design, but it would totally work for older women who are interested in learning more about the design process. Whether you’re interested in sewing clothes for yourself, sewing clothes for your daughters, or designing fabric for your living room upholstery, this class will cover it all. Continue reading ‘Design Seminar’