This is interesting because so often we think of femininity as something soft and sweet (not that it shouldn’t have those aspects). But a godly femininity includes  fearlessness and strength. A manly courage. It has a back bone. It will stand up for what is right, even when no one else will do it.

What a sharp contrast to the silly women who are “always learning but never coming to a knowledge of the truth.” Or the women who go house to house with the latest chat. Or the idle ones who are tearing down their homes, one brick at a time.

A valiant wife looks at her duties and assumes them with grace and dignity, and a brave heart. She does not faint or lose heart at the prospect of hard work over the course of many years. She sees the long-term impact of what she is doing and sets herself to the tasks that God has given her, like bringing up children, lodging strangers, washing the feet of the saints, and all those other things that fall neatly into the category of good works.

A valiant woman is one of the means that God uses to remake the world. She is the glory of the man. She takes what he gives her and glorifies it. He gives her a house, and she glorifies it and makes it into a home. He gives her a table, and she glorifies it with food, nurturing and feeding the faces around it. A husband makes love to his wife, and she mysteriously glorifies it, and a child is born. This is what God has made women to do. A valiant woman glorifies and beautifies. And it overflows.

On two-year-olds we all look at the parents and feel a mix of sympathy and criticism. No one likes to have their child flip out and melt down in public like that, so we feel sorry for the poor parents. At the same time, we wish the parents would step in and correct the child. It is not wrong to be hurt; but it is wrong to throw a complete fit about it. Learning good conduct, even in pain or fear, is a godly discipline.

When a teenage girl falls down and skins her knee in the volleyball game, we expect her to jump up and keep on playing. When she curls up in a ball and starts wailing, we feel ill at ease, wishing she would reel it in. Even if a bone is sticking out of her arm, there is a difference between legitimate cries of pain, and uncontrolled sobbing and yelling, cussing and kicking. You know what I mean. We delight to see courage and self-control because we admire it wherever we see it. But bad temper and cowardliness are always shameful,  no matter what the age of the screamer.

Even grown women can over-react when they are hurt, crying and yelling, swearing and complaining, whimpering and fussing when they should be showing courage and strength, faith and self-control. Screamers never inspire us; they make us feel embarrassed, like we are seeing something that should be off stage.

In pain and in fear, we should continue to consider our duties as Christian women. What is your duty when you undergo medical testing or when you slip on the ice? If you stub your toe or fall down the steps, do you shriek and panic or do you gracefully blow it out and control yourself? Though we might correct a two-year-old (or wish someone would), it is not exactly socially acceptable to tell a grown woman to quit acting like a baby. We would be accused on lacking sympathy and tact. But most people who are out of ear shot will certainly raise their eyebrows and express their disgust at such displays.

Christian women need to keep their duties of glorifying God in mind when they are in pain. We all understand our duties if our child is starting to run out into the street: immediate courage, strength and decisiveness. But we may forget our duty to conduct ourselves in a ladylike and God-fearing manner when we are the one who is afraid or hurting like the dickens. But those women who do handle themselves gracefully during such times always command our respect and gain our admiration.

Though this is a good working definition, the Bible has far more to say about wisdom, and it takes wisdom to understand wisdom. But let’s give it a go. If you just read through the book of Proverbs and take note of every reference to wisdom, you will learn a lot about it. Here are just a few things from Proverbs.

We are to get wisdom, pursue wisdom, seek wisdom, find wisdom, love wisdom, exalt wisdom, take hold of wisdom, and keep wisdom. All those who succeed in finding wisdom find life and grace, for wisdom is precious (better than gold, silver, or rubies), her ways are pleasant and peaceful, and she bestows safety, preservation, long life, promotion, riches, honor, and happiness on those who find her. Proverbs 19:8 sums it up: “He who gets wisdom loves his own soul.”

That sounds pretty appealing to me. What in the world could hinder us in finding such a great thing as wisdom? Lots of things, like laziness, selfishness, worldliness, ambition, distraction, greed. Which is to say, foolishness and sin keep us from pursuing wisdom. But at the bottom of it all is the unbelief that keeps us from fearing the Lord, for as we know, that is the beginning of wisdom.

God Himself is wisdom: “The Lord by wisdom founded the earth; by understanding He established the heavens; by His knowledge the depths were broken up, and clouds drop down the dew” (Prov. 3:20).

And He bestows His wisdom on those who seek it: Proverbs 8:17, “Those who seek me diligently will find me.”

Wisdom is a woman, but so is foolishness. So we must choose which kind of woman we want to be.

Wisdom keeps company with prudence, discretion, and knowledge. Wisdom builds while the foolish woman destroys; a wise woman receives instruction, heeds counsel, walks circumspectly, redeems the time (Eph. 5:15), chooses wisdom over riches, and understands the will of the Lord. She does not forget wisdom, but she keeps it, she does not turn away from it or forsake it, but rather embraces it.”Wisdom is the principal thing: therefore get wisdom. In all your getting, get understanding” (Prov. 4:7).

In our day the word awesome is so overused, to describe things like tee-shirts or movies, that we have lost a very powerful word. Nevertheless, the word awe really means something like this: a mixed feeling of reverence, fear, and wonder, caused by something majestic or sublime. Awe is a fearful or profound respect or wonder that is inspired by greatness, superiority, or grandeur.

As Christian people, we are to have a profound respect and reverence for Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. This is what it is to fear the Lord.

Lev. 19:30 You shall keep My Sabbaths and reverence My sanctuary; I am the Lord.

Ps. 89:7 God is greatly to be feared in the assembly of the saints, and to be held in reverence by all those around Him.

Heb. 12:28-29 Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom which cannot be shaken, let us have grace, by which we may serve God acceptably with reverence and godly fear. For our God is a consuming fire.

Ps. 111:10 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.

Ps. 33:8 Let all the earth fear the Lord; let all the inhabitants of the world stand in awe of Him.

Ps. 34:9 Oh, fear the Lord, you His saints!

1 Pet. 2:17 Fear God.

We cultivate a fear of God by obeying His commands, by worshiping Him carefully on the Lord’s Day, by not speaking lightly of Him, or singing little ditties about Him. He is the Lord. He is a consuming fire. He is not to be patronized by silliness or levity. We are to be awestruck and filled with wonder at His majesty. We are not to treat Him, His worship, or His commands lightly. If we are wise, we will not approach him in a breezy manner, but humbly and with awe.

Just like all God’s commands, when we obey Him, our souls flourish and we are blessed, happy. A reverent demeanor is to be extended to our relationships with one another. Deacons, deacons’ wives, older men, older women, bishops and bishop’s wives, wives in general, and children are all to be reverent, and reverent all the time. The opposite of this kind of reverence would be seen when there is a lot of silliness, a loose tongue, a flippant attitude, a lack of discretion and humility.

Prov. 28:14 Happy is the man who is always reverent, but he who hardens his heart will fall into calamity.

1 Tim. 3:8-11 Likewise deacons must be reverent, not double-tongued, not given to much wine, not greedy for money, holding the mystery of the faith with a pure conscience……likewise, their wives must be reverent, not slanderers, temperate, faithful in all things.

Titus 2:2-3…that the older men be sober, reverent, temperate, sound in the faith, in love, in patience; the older women likewise that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things….

1 Tim. 3:2-4 A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, temperate, sober-minded, of good behavior, hospitable, able to teach; not given to much wine, not violent, not greedy for money, but gentle, not quarrelsome, not covetous, one who rules his own house well, having his children in submission with all reverence (for if a man does not know how to rule his own house, how will he take care of the church of God?)

Ephesians 5:33…and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

The church is a community of families, and the family is a community in itself. When we revere God and treat one another with respect and honor, amazing things happen. God is honored, the family is strong, the community thrives. The individuals in the community feel blessed. When a community has little regard for the Lord, for His day, for His Word and commandments, it is no wonder that they treat one another like dirt. All our our self-respect derives from our reverence for God. We are made in His image and we should treat one another respectfully out of reverence for that image, no matter how faint it has become through sin.

So, what is humility exactly? It is having a modest estimate of one’s own importance; not proud; not self-assertive; modest; lowly; unpretentious.That should give us enough to work with. Though this study was put together for married women, it certainly does not mean married women are the only ones who need humility. A humble woman, married or unmarried, will be a tremendous asset to her church, her home, her family, and her community.

God sets Himself against the proud, but He works with the humble of heart, guiding, teaching, lifting up, giving grace: “The humble He guides in justice, and the humble He teaches His way” (Ps. 25:9). “The Lord lifts up the humble; He casts the wicked down to the ground” (Ps. 147:6). “Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up” (James 4:10). “But He gives more grace. Therefore He says: ‘God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble’” (James 4:6). “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall. Better to be of a humble spirit with the lowly, than to divide the spoil with the proud” (Prov. 16:-18-19). “Whoever secretly slanders his neighbor, Him I will destroy; The one who has a haughty look and a proud heart, Him I will not endure” (Ps. 101: 5).

We are to be humble first in our demeanor toward God, and secondly toward all men. I would suggest that this would begin with our family and work its way out toward everyone else. If we have a humble demeanor toward our husbands and children (which may be the toughest to cultivate), then we can easily be humble toward the cop who pulls us over, the salesclerk who is being pokey, the friend who wrongs us, or the neighbor who is fussy. It also means we will be flexible (not whiney) when the church elders decide to rearrange the service, the road is closed, the instructor gives a pop quiz, or the boss gives a tough assignment.

“Remind them to be subject to rulers and authorities, to obey, to be ready for every good work, to speak evil of no one, to be peaceable, gentle, showing all humility to all men” (Titus 3:2).

If children can learn to be submissive to their parents, they will learn the better part of humility which they can then apply in all their relationships: “Likewise you younger people, submit yourselves to your elders. Yes, all of you be submissive to one another, and be clothed with humility, for ‘God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.’ Therefore, humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you” (1 Pet. 5:5-7).

In all this, our example is our Savior: “And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross. Therefore God also has highly exalted Him and given Him the name which is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of those in heaven, and of those on earth, and of those under the earth, and that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father” (Phil. 2:8).

Humility is not only pleasing to God, but it is good for the souls of those who cultivate it: “By humility and the fear of the Lord are riches and honor and life” (Prov. 22:4). “He who is of a proud heart stirs up strife, but he who trusts in the Lord will be prospered” (Prov. 28:25).

We are to hang out with the humble, not the rich and famous. God does this, and we are to imitate Him. “Be of the same mind toward one another. Do not set your mind on high things, but associate with the humble. Do not be wise in your own opinion” (Rom. 12:16).

We are to steer clear of those with a high opinion of themselves, because God doesn’t think much of them either: “A proud and haughty man –”Scoffer” is his name; He acts with arrogant pride” (Prov. 21:24).

How do we grow in humility? By cultivating a high view of God and a low view of ourselves.This means loving God’s Word and worshiping Him with all we are and have. Then, as we extend it to others, it mean courtesy and deference toward our husbands, children, and everyone else.

That means in the little things like listening when they speak to us and not interrupting or being argumentative.

It means letting others go first, giving them the best seat or the biggest piece. It means we rejoice when others are honored and we are overlooked, when others get the credit for things we have done, or when no one thanks us for the good job we have done. Humility doesn’t notice.

The opposite of humility is that ugly thing called pride which destroys us. If we are proud, we feel unduly pleased with ourselves. We are full of self-respect and think much of our own qualities, skills, accomplishments, opinions, or merits. Pride blinds us and hardens us so that we cannot see our own faults, only those of others. It makes us unapproachable, unteachable, judgmental, impatient, and critical of others. Another Thomas Watson quote here: “Fault-finding is the easiest thing in the world.” Pride is a good qualifier if you want to be a fault-finder.

How can we tell if we are humble? One way is this: how do you respond when others are praising the Lord? Are you glad or are you embarrassed? Listen to Psalm 34:1: “I will bless the Lord at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth; my soul shall makes its boast in the Lord; the humble shall hear of it and be glad.” Michal was not glad when she saw David her husband dancing before the Lord. She scoffed him, feeling superior and ashamed of his uncool behavior. God did not bless her for that. In fact, Scripture says she remained childless.

We are to be like those described in Acts 20:19, “serving the Lord with all humility.” This is our duty and calling. We serve the Lord when we respect our husbands, love our children, worship on the Lord’s Day, assume our humble household chores with a cheerful heart, and bestow good on others. This is the essence of humility.

Men and women alike are to be chaste, whether married or unmarried. The Bible has no double standard. Adultery and fornication are forbidden for everyone who follows Christ.

1 Thess. 4:3-7 For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God; that no one should take advantage of and defraud his brother in this matter, because the Lord is the avenger of all such, as we also forewarned you and testified. For God did not call us to uncleanness, but in holiness.

Eph. 5:5 For this you know, that no fornicator, unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.

Heb. 12:16 Lest there be any fornicator or profane person like Esau, who for one morsel of food sold his birthright.

Heb. 13:4 Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.

Women are singled out in a couple of passages where they are taught by the older women to be chaste in their homes, and encouraged to see how potent chaste behavior can be when living with a disobedient husband.

Titus 2:4-5… that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.

1 Pet. 3:1-2 Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.

In these passages women are called to be sexually pure, but this is not limited only to sexual acts, but to all their conduct. In other words, women are to dress, talk, behave, and look like chaste women. If they are married, their conduct should imply fidelity to one man; if they are unmarried, they should look and act like virgins. Now this calls for wisdom. We live in a world where women are induced to look skanky, to dress like prostitutes, to act like they sleep around, and to use their bodies to get male attention anywhere they can find it. What a delight to be set free from such slavery and deception! The Christian woman can live and act like the free woman that she is in Christ. Chaste behavior is potent; it can even win over an unbelieving husband. Women need to realize the authority they wield when they are chaste and modest. To be pure means an absence of seductive influences. This means propriety in behavior, dress, and bearing, as well as speech. It certainly affects the relationships women have with men. I sometimes advise unmarried women to check their relationships with “friends” who are men. Would the so-called friendship look the same if the “friend” got engaged? If it wouldn’t, then it may be more of a flirtation than a friendship.And for married women, the same standard holds. I don’t go to coffee with men in the church. I don’t confide my troubles to them or ask them for counsel. I have a husband. This is how extra-marital flings get started. It starts out as just a friendship, but then it turns into something else. Christian couples need to keep very high fences around their relationships; this is what fidelity looks like.

One of the young mothers in our community was sitting in a park area while her child played. A man she did not know came up and sat down beside her on the park bench and asked her about her children. “How old is this one?” he asked. And as she answered him, she stood up, got her children and moved on. Some might call this rude. I call it delightful wisdom. Another young mom told me of a man in her church who wanted to help her out with some home projects. She was totally creeped out and from that time on she kept her distance from him. This is what fidelity looks like. And it just doesn’t matter if some people view it as too austere. The more robust the marriage, the more loyalty and commitment to one another, the less enthusiasm there is for being too buddy-buddy with men who are not your husband.

2 Cor. 11:2-3 For I am jealous for you with godly jealousy. For I have betrothed you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ. But I fear, lest somehow, as the serpent deceived Eve by his craftiness, so your minds may be corrupted from the simplicity that is in Christ.

Women are easily deceived, and we must not ever forget that for a minute.Jealousy can be godly. Do not give your husband any grounds for jealousy. And don’t kid yourself or justify or explain away a flirtatious relationship with someone who is not your husband.

Now chaste behavior is for both the married and unmarried, and it includes both acts and thoughts. It means virginity for the unmarried (and that includes the engaged). It means strict fidelity for the married. And this means mental fidelity, not just physical fidelity. Many things can be a set up for trouble. A woman should consider the books/magazines she reads, the movies she watches, the way she dresses, the things she daydreams about, and the conversations she has with men who are not her husband. Is your conversation pure? Are you laughing at inappropriate jokes, comments? Consider the way you dress. Is it seductive? Consider all your behavior, and ask God to give you wisdom so you will look, act, think, and dress like a chaste woman.

Remember the woman in Proverbs 31. Charm is fleeting and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord is a sight to behold and a power to reckon with.

Our first allegiance must be to God. This is loyalty: to love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength.

Jesus spelled this out in Matthew 6:24: No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon.

But without God’s steadfastness and loyalty to His people, we could not of ourselves be steadfast.

Heb. 6:19 This hope we have as an anchor of the soul, both sure and steadfast…

Christ was steadfast in purpose when He went to the cross: Luke 9:51 Now it came to pass, when the time had come for Him to be received up, that He steadfastly set His face to go to Jerusalem, and sent messengers before His face.

Steadfastness is a matter of the heart. It is an internal discipline, something that God works into us and we work out, like the fruit of the Spirit. Our roots go deep into Christ, and godly fruit shows up on the branches. This is not something we can do of ourselves; it comes of trusting in the Lord.Ps. 57:7 My heart is steadfast, O God, my heart is steadfast; I will sing and give praise.

Ps. 112:7 He will not be afraid of evil tidings; His heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord.

We are commanded to be steadfast in the faith:

1 Cor. 15:58 Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord.

Col. 1:23 …if indeed you continue in the faith, grounded and steadfast, and are not moved away from the hope of the gospel which you heard, which was preached to every creature under heaven, of which I, Paul, became a minister.

Heb. 3:14 For we have become partakers of Christ if we hold the beginning of our confidence steadfast to the end.

1 Pet. 5:9 Resist him, steadfast in the faith…..

The early converts were described in Acts 2:42 as continuing “steadfastly in the apostles’ doctrine and fellowship, in the breaking of bread, and in prayers.” The Christian life requires loyalty to God in doctrine, prayer, and communion, as well as loyalty in fellowship with other believers.  We see this same idea in Romans 12:12: …continuing steadfastly in prayer. Col. 2:5 For though I am absent in the flesh, yet I am with you in spirit, rejoicing to see your good order and the steadfastness of your faith in Christ.

There is a danger of falling from steadfastness, but it comes from being “led away with the error of the wicked.” We are to be steadfast in doctrine which protects us from error, trusting in the anchor of our souls. Disloyalty is companion to lies and flattery, and we know where lies come from. Disloyalty is the result of being led astray by false doctrine.

2 Pet. 3:17 …beware lest you also fall from your own steadfastness, being led away with the error of the wicked; but grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

Ps. 78:36-37 Nevertheless they flattered Him with their mouth and they lied to Him with their tongue. For their heart was not steadfast with Him, nor were they faithful in His covenant.

Women are vulnerable to deception, particularly when it comes in the form of flattery. Our mother Eve was deceived by the flattery of the serpent and fell into transgression (1 Tim. 14).  Lies seldom come in honestly declaring,  “Hi, I am now deceiving you.” But if we are steadfast in the faith, we recognize a lie and have the power to resist and reject it (see 1 Pet. 5:9). We are to reject lies and “grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.”

As Christians we are to be loyal to our God, our family, our church, our people, our nation. If our family, church, people or nation becomes apostate, our first and primary loyalty is to God. This requires us to be “disloyal” to anything or anyone who is disloyal to God. A wife is to be loyal to her husband. But if he is unfaithful, Scripture says she may divorce him. Children are to be loyal to their parents and siblings, grandparents and extended family. But if that family rejects God and is seeking to persuade the children to do the same, they are required to be disloyal. “Mom, Dad, you know I love you, but I cannot follow you into disbelief.” If we have friends or family members who are being “led away with the error of the wicked,” our loyalty prohibits us being fellow travelers with them.

This requires courage and faith, because sometimes we want to give way to the flattery, and sometimes we don’t have the nerve to stand up for our own people. One of our former boarders told us that when she was visiting France with her family some years ago, she was on a tour when the tourguide started making fun of the Huguenots. She told him to stop speaking that way of “her people.” That is what loyalty looks like.

Wives ought to stand up for their husbands and children, to be loyal to their church and “their people” whenever they come under attack from the unrighteous. When we find ourselves backing away from those to whom we owe our allegiance, we ought to check our doctrine and see if we are being led away from the truth by flattery or deception.

Peter isn’t suggesting that we occasionally work on these things. He says “giving all diligence.” He’s not even saying that we do this with some diligence, but rather, with all diligence. So let’s examine what it means to be diligent and what the Bible says about this attribute.

To be diligent is to be hardworking, putting care and effort into what one does. It requires constant, painstaking, and steady effort. We have a detailed description of a diligent woman in Proverbs 31. Take a look at what she does.

1. She seeks wool and flax, and willingly works with her hands. (v. 13)

Note the verbs: seeks, works and the adverb willingly.

            Here is an attitude that should accompany our work: willingness, which implies cheerfulness. Her calling is her work, and she is not forced to do these things. Rather, she is seeking out her work of her own accord. This means she is self-governed and self-motivated. Women who hate their work, whether at home, at an office, or as a student, will do a poor job joylessly. How much better it is if we seek out our work willingly and joyfully. I sometimes remind married women that God has given them such good work to do. We need to give ourselves a good job description and not say something like, “No, I don’t work. I’m just a homemaker.” Recently I heard someone say that a friend had admitted that she didn’t want to work, she just wanted to get married and have kids. Someone responded with, “Well, at least she is honest.” To which I replied, “Who said having kids is not work?” And they of course agreed quickly. But women are so used to demeaning their own calling, they don’t even hear themselves doing it. Women are called to a glorious work in their homes.

2. She also rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and a portion for her maidservants. (v. 15)

 This woman is an early riser. It is still dark out when she is popping out of bed to hit the day running. Sometimes unmarried women who are students develop bad habits of staying up late (goofing off) and then sleeping half the day away in the morning, getting up just in time to get to class. I’m not talking here about staying up late to work on a paper or study for a test. Unless it is the result of lots of procrastination, it is probably diligence. But staying up late to party, and sleeping in half the day is lazy, irresponsible, and bad preparation for holding a job or for being a wife and mother. Diligence is for everyone, not just for married women. I’ve also seen wives and mothers shirk their duties at home because they need to “get out of the house.” Again, we all need to get out of the house from time to time. Nothing wrong with that. The issue is the context. Do you need to get out of the house because you are so far behind in your house work? Is it an excuse to run away from your duties? A woman who is on top of her work can afford to take some time off. But the woman who is behind ought to stick it out and get to work. She should roll up her sleeves willingly and seek out her work with joy.

3. She girds herself with strength, and strengthens her arms. (v. 17)

She is not a wimp; she is not afraid of work, but rather embraces it with enthusiasm. The work God gives us to do should challenge us and please us. When the house is clean and the laundry is done, we should feel satisfied and tired. If you’ve worked all day on a school project or studied long for a test or spent the day getting your desk cleared, you should feel blessed and thankful. Diligence is strong, not weak.

4. Her lamp does not go out by night. (v. 18)

She is not goofing off! She perseveres. She gets the job done, and not half-way.

5. She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness. (v. 27)

She is careful to watch over her responsibilities, not slacking off, not just getting by. This is a good exhortation for women in all seasons of life. We are to watch over our duties whether it is a household, a course of study, a business, or a job of any kind. Cutting corners, slacking off, and letting things coast are all forms of idleness. And idleness is more of a danger than we often think. It can be a set up for other sins: 1 Tim. 5:13 And besides they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house, and not only idle but also gossips and busybodies, saying things which they ought not.  

For of this sort are those who creep into households and make captives of gullible women loaded down with sins, led away by various lusts, always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth. 2 Tim 3:6

A diligent woman knows how her business is doing, she is watching carefully, exercising a godly authority and oversight. She doesn’t have anyone looking over her shoulder telling her to get her work done. She is working heartily unto the Lord, cheerfully, willingly, and skillfully. God rewards such diligence.

God blesses diligence.

Proverbs has much to say about a Protestant work ethic. Here is a small sampling.

Proverbs 12:27 The lazy man does not roast what he took in hunting, But diligence is man’s precious possession.  10:4 He who has a slack hand becomes poor, but the hand of the diligent makes rich. 12:24 The hand of the diligent will rule, but the lazy man will be put to forced labor. 

13:4 The soul of a lazy man desires, and has nothing; but the soul of the diligent shall be made rich.

There is nothing wrong with recognizing that God will bless the diligent woman with wealth and authority. People naturally look to the woman who is exercising a godly dominion over her responsibilities. Students admire fellow students who are diligent in their studies; the whole community respects hard-working women who keep their homes and families in a godly order; women in the workplace are esteemed for their capable leadership. God rewards the diligent by giving them more responsibility, and He honors those who honor Him in the way that they work.

Spiritual Diligence 

One of the good things the Puritans did for us was to fight for the idea that all work is sacred if it is done unto the Lord. Any lawful calling can honor and please God if we work faithfully. And this quality of diligence has obvious spiritual application. Not only are we called to physical work that requires diligence. Our spiritual lives are to display the same quality of discipline, care, oversight, serious, steady effort. The verse I quoted at the beginning from 2 Peter calls us to be working hard at adding virtue and perseverance and godliness and kindness and knowledge and self control and love and faith to our Christian lives. We do this the same way that we work hard at other things: by paying attention, being self-motivated, rising to the occasion, not making excuses, obeying all the Bible says.

Heb. 4:11 Let us therefore be diligent to enter that rest, lest anyone fall according to the same example of disobedience.

Heb. 12:14-15 Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord, looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled. 

 The Christian life requires discipline, courage, faith, and diligence. We work out what He works in. This is all done in faith, by faith, with faith, because without faith it is impossible to please God.

So now to consider what  the Bible says about discretion, how it is described, and how we can apply ourselves to be discreet.

Proverbs 2:10-12 When wisdom enters your heart, and knowledge is pleasant to your soul, discretion will preserve you; understanding will keep you, to deliver you from the way of evil, from the man who speaks perverse things.

            Characteristics: Some people find wisdom and knowledge pleasant; for those people, discretion preserves, keeps, delivers. Here we also see that a lack of discretion is associated with the tongue.

             Proverbs 8:12 I, wisdom, dwell with prudence, and find out knowledge and discretion.

            Characteristics: Discretion is a trait that keeps company with wisdom, knowledge.

            Application: What kind of friends do you keep company with? Are they prudent?          Discreet? Wise? Searching for knowledge?

Proverbs 11:22 As a ring of gold in a swine’s snout, so is a lovely woman who lacks discretion.

            Characteristics: A lack of discretion is unseemly, out of place, inappropriate. This        is obvious to everyone else in the room.

Proverbs 19:11 The discretion of a man makes him slow to anger, and his glory is to overlook a transgression.

            Characteristics: Discretion safeguards against quick or angry reactions. The fruit of        discretion is patience and forgiveness.

Proverbs 14:15 The simple believes every word, but the prudent considers well his steps.

            Characteristics: Prudence is far sighted and can anticipate consequences;         prudence is a little cynical, not gullible.

            Application: Women are easily deceived by men, and discretion and prudence will protect them from being gullible.

Proverbs 16:21 The wise in heart will be called prudent, and sweetness of the lips increases learning.

            Characteristics: It begins in the heart, and comes out the lips in sweetness. Again          we see the connection to knowledge and learning.

Proverbs 18:15 The heart of the prudent acquires knowledge, and the ear of the wise seeks knowledge.

            Characteristics: It is not lazy, but is seeking more knowledge; it is a heart         attitude.

Proverbs 19:14 Houses and riches are an inheritance from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord.

            Characteristics: A woman who is discreet and prudent is a prize. She makes a             desirable wife; she is from the Lord.

How can women, young or old, be indiscreet? (I’ve described this elsewhere as when her slip is showing.)

1. Saying things they ought not.

            What kinds of things? Things their parents, children, husband, or friend would not appreciate; passing on information that was supposed to be confidential, not public; revealing secrets. Over-sharing. In general, being mouthy.

2. Doing things they ought not.

            Wearing inappropriate/immodest clothing; being loud and boisterous; bossy; flirtatious with the men; over physical with the girls; not self-governed when it comes to movies, parties, curfews, hanging out with the guys, etc.