We serve a God who is longsuffering toward us, and He is the source of all patience and longsuffering for us. So we look to Him for the supply. Colossians 1: 11 tells us that God strengthens us (“according to His glorious power”) for “all patience and longsuffering with joy.” This means that God doesn’t just give us the ability to endure and persevere in trials, but He gives us joy in it.

Suffering for a long time with joy is humanly impossible. But we must go back to see Who enables us for such a thing. It is the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who “has delivered us from the power of darkness and conveyed us into the kingdom of the Son of His love, in whom we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins” (vs. 13). He is the God of all patience and comfort (Rom. 15:5). He overflows with abundant mercy and truth.

I have a friend who has suffered a hard providence, and she told me that she would not change one thing. She has no quarrel with God. That is a faithful response, and that is the demeanor that finds joy and hope in longsuffering, and all to the glory of God.

Longsuffering means suffering for a long time. This does not sound very appealing. But  many things in this life (provocations and afflictions) require long-term suffering,  discipline, and patience. And what better encouragement can there be for us than to know that God has a special fruit that is dispensed by His Holy Spirit that enables us feeble creatures to hang in there for the long haul.

Many people have griefs and injuries, chronic pain and ailments that require longsuffering. Old age suffers long. But notice in both these passages, longsuffering is surrounded with kindness: “Love suffers long and is kind” (I Cor. 13:4) and from Galatians, “the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness…”

When we are called to an extended time of suffering, patience works itself out in kindness. And kindness always looks out for others. So when we are suffering for a long time, we do well to turn our eyes to the needs of others. Longsuffering has a good companion in kindness. Kindness points us away from our own troubles and gets us to minister to others. And kindness always has a gang of friends along: joy, peace, goodness, faithfulness, and the rest of them. And that is good company.

God is the source of self-control; God’s grace teaches us to live soberly.

Galatians 5:22- 23: But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.

Titus 2:11-12 For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men, teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly in the present age…

We glorify God by bearing such fruit.

Philippians 1:9-11 And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in knowledge and all discernment, that you may approve the things that are excellent, that you may be sincere and without offense till the day of Christ, being filled with the fruits of righteousness which are by Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.

John 15:8 By this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit; so you will be my disciples.

Self-control is central in the Christian life.

Acts 24:25 Now as he reasoned about righteousness, self-control, and the judgment to come, Felix was afraid…

A lack of self-control is antithetical to godliness and faith.

2 Timothy 3:3-4 But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come: for men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despises of good, traitors, headstrong, haughty….

2 Peter 1:6-11 But also for this very reason, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge, to knowledge self-control, to self-control perseverance, to perseverance godliness, to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness love. For if these things are yours and abound, you will be neither barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. For he who lacks these things is shortsighted, even to blindness, and has forgotten that he was cleansed from his old sins. Therefore, brethren, be even more diligent to make your call and election sure, for if you do these things you will never stumble; for so an entrance will be supplied to you abundantly into the everlasting kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

Proverbs 25:28 Whoever has no rule over is own spirit is like a city broken down, without walls.

We must be self-controlled in everything, not just in some things.

1 Corinthians 9:24-27 Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but one receives the prize: Run in such a way that you may obtain it. And everyone who competes for the prize is temperate in all things. Now they do it to obtain a perishable crown, but we for an imperishable crown. Therefore I run thus: not with uncertainty. Thus I fight: not as one who beats the air. But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection, lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified.

Sexual self-control:

1 Corinthians 7:9 But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

Elders must be temperate.1 Timothy 3:2-5 A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, temperate, sober-minded, of good behavior, hospitable, able to teach; not given to wine, not violent, not greedy for money, but gentle, not quarrelsome, not covetous; one who rules his own house well, having his children in submission with all reverence…

Deacons’ wives must be temperate.

1 Timothy 3:11 Likewise, their [deacons’] wives must be reverent, not slanderers, temperate, faithful in all things.

Areas where self-control is needed:

Emotions: Anger, resentment, self-pity, receiving correction, listening, being submissive and respectful, etc. Though a woman can “blame” hormones for monthly outbursts, that does not excuse the outbursts. This means preventative prayer is needed. In other words, if you know you are more vulnerable certain times of the month, then pray the rest of the month that God will prepare you for that time when you are easily tempted.

Desires/Thoughts: Sexual, physical appetites; covetousness, worldliness. Self-control is also needed for a lack of desire as well.

Actions: The tongue, shopping and spending habits, nervous habits, food and drink, music and film, Bible reading and prayer, rising early, doing our duties.

Hindrances.

Women often really don’t want self-control, or they want it on their own terms. Of course, like all the other fruit of the Spirit, we should not try to do it ourselves. Self-control is fruit, like the kind that grows on a tree; it is not efficiency, like what we have from a machine. Some women can run a very tight ship, but they do it at the expense of everyone’s joy and peace. This comes from being works oriented rather than fruit oriented. We must work out what God works in, and not become distracted by trying to control everyone else. We need to control ourselves first.

God is Gentle

Psalm 18:35b “Thy gentleness hath made me great.”

Jesus is Gentle.

Matthew 11:28-29 Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

Paul behaved with gentleness.

1 Thessalonians 2:7 But we were gentle among you, just as a nursing mother cherishes her own children. So, affectionately longing for you, we were well pleased to impart to you not only the gospel of God, but also our own lives, because you had become dear to us. For you remember, brethren, our labor and toil; for laboring night and day, that we might not be a burden to any of you, we preached to you the gospel of God. You are witnesses, and God also, how devoutly and justly and blamelessly we behaved ourselves among you who believe; as you know how we exhorted, and comforted, and charged every one of you, as a father does his own children, that you would walk worthy of God who calls you into His own kingdom and glory.

The saints are to be gentle.

Titus 3:2 Remind them to be subject to rulers and authorities, to obey, to be ready for every good work, to speak evil of no one, to be peaceable, gentle, showing all humility to all men.

Ephesians 4:1-3 I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

Philippians 4:5 Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand.

1 Timothy 6:11 But you, O man of God, flee these things and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, gentleness.

Women are to cultivate a gentle heart.

1 Peter 3:4 …rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.

Based on these texts, we can summarize some of the characteristics of gentleness. To be gentle is to be affectionate, protective, nourishing, sacrificial, hard working, parental, peaceable, humble, lowly, longsuffering, striving for peace. Gentleness delights in its duties, exhorts, comforts, and charges.

The gentle and quiet spirit described in 1 Peter is something God puts a high value on. It is a spirit that is at peace, is resting in God, is calm. What causes a woman to lose her gentle spirit? Many things can interfere with gentleness. But if a woman is not gentle, she may be (or probably is) frazzled, harried, anxious, distracted, bitter, or nagging. A gentle wife is like a tame animal, easily approached, not jumpy or skittish, like an animal in the wild. When her husband comes to her, he is received with affection and finds nourishment and comfort. Her children also can expect to be received with gladness. But if the family has to walk on eggs around Mom, she most likely does not have the gentleness described here. If she is unpredictable, touchy, easily irritated, accusative, or fussy, she does not have a gentle spirit. Lowliness and gentleness go together, so the way to gentleness is to be humble. Jesus is lowly in heart and we find rest for our souls in Him. Husbands and children should be able to find rest for their souls (in a limited way of course) in wife/mom. And the only way for wives/mothers to be this kind of resource is to be filled themselves with the gentleness of Christ.

My mother-in-law, who was a missionary in Japan, tells the story of a woman who would go to her room for a quiet time while everyone else had to look after her children. She would come out of her room with her face aglow, but everyone else found it hard to rejoice in her blessing. A mom often has to get her fill “on the run.” She doesn’t have the luxury of an extended “quiet time.” That means she must be looking to Christ in the midst of all the daily busyness, reading her Bible on the go, praying as she works.

But it also means finding physical rest. Women have so many duties in the home, that it is tempting to just keep caffeinated and working while the kids take a nap. I remember this temptation well. But moms cannot expect to keep going without resting and eating. Oftentimes we look for spiritual answers when what we really need is some lunch or a little nap. We are flesh and blood and can’t run on fumes indefinitely. So if you are losing your joy or losing your gentleness, pay attention. Are you getting enough food and sleep? Do you need a couple of Advil? A cup of coffee? Don’t let yourself get strung out. And most importantly, look to Christ.

Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. For by it the elders obtained a good testimony. By faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that the things which are seen were not made of things which are visible.

God is faithful.

Deuteronomy 7:9 Therefore know that the Lord your God, He is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and mercy for a thousand generations with those who love Him and keep His commandments.

1 Corinthians 1:9 God is faithful, by whom you were called into the fellowship of His Son, Jesus Christ our Lord.

1 Thessalonians 5:23-24 Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you completely; and may your whole spirit, soul, and body be preserved blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. He who calls you is faithful, who also will do it.

Hebrews 10:23 Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful.

1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Psalm 40:10 I have declared Your faithfulness and Your salvation.

Psalm 89:8 O Lord God of hosts, Who is mighty like You, O Lord? Your faithfulness also surrounds You.

Psalm 92:1-2 It is good to give thanks to the Lord, and to sing praises to Your name, O Most High; to declare Your loving kindness in the morning, and your faithfulness every night.

Psalm 119:90 Your faithfulness endures to all generations.

Isaiah 25:1 O Lord, You are my God. I will exalt you, I will praise Your name, For You have done wonderful things; Your counsels of old are faithfulness and truth.

Lamentations 3:23 Great is Your faithfulness.

We respond to God’s faithfulness by walking and living by faith.

2 Corinthians 5:7 For we walk by faith, not by sight.

Galatians 2:20 I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.

Some attributes of faithfulness.

Proverbs 20:6 Most men will proclaim each his own goodness, but who can find a faithful man?

Proverbs 11:13 A talebearer reveals secrets, But he who is of a faithful spirit conceals a matter.

Luke 16:10-12 He who is faithful in what is least is faithful also in much; and he who is unjust in what is least is unjust also in much.

2 Peter 1:5-7 But also for this very reason, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge, to knowledge self control, to self-control perseverance, to perseverance godliness, to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness love.

God rewards and preserves the faithful.

Matthew 25:23 Well done, good and faithful servant; you have been faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord.

Revelation 2:10 Be faithful until death, and I will give you the crown of life.

Psalm 31:23 Oh, love the Lord, all you His saints! For the Lord preserves the faithful, and fully repays the proud person.

Faith is the Starting Point

To be faithful wives, we must first be faithful Christians. Before we can be faithful in our relationships, particularly to our husbands, we must trust God knowing He will keep His Word and His promises to us. A faithful wife trusts herself, her husband, and her children to God, knowing that He is sanctifying us all and He will finish the work He has begun.

Faithfulness looks for its duty in every situation. What has God given you and how can you be a good steward of this opportunity, affliction, circumstance, or situation? Faithfulness is loyal, steadfast, unwavering, trusting.

A Few Characteristics of the Faithful Wife

1. She keeps covenant with her husband long term. She is sexually faithful and mentally faithful. She is a one-man woman.

2. She shows mercy and extends long-term forgiveness to her husband.

3. She is verbally faithful and will conceal a matter when it is prudent to do so. She is not loose-lipped.

4. She walks through trials and afflictions by faith, trusting the Lord and encouraging her husband.

5. She looks for her duties in the big things and in the little things.

6. She looks to express her faith by pursuing virtue.

7. She does not waver and is faithful till death.

What kinds of things hinder faithfulness?

1. Unbelief. We forget our promises; we fail to look to God for the strength to fulfill our vows. We take our promises lightly.

2. Lack of loyalty. Some wives never really leave and cleave. They have taken their husband’s name, but have not identified wholly with him and with his people.

3. Caring too much about the wrong things, like other people’s opinions. Women can be lead into unfaithfulness by listening to the wrong things, whether it is other wives complaining about their husbands, or daydreaming about some knight in shining armor.

4. Not following his lead, not staying on the same page. Some wives do not like their husband’s style of leadership. They want to lead their husbands into a kind of feminine ideal of what male leadership looks like.

5. Being careless in the little things leads to unfaithfulness in the big things.God is pleased when we trust Him. When we are faithful over a little, our responsibilities expand. Faith is always the starting point, and a mustard-seed size faith does wonders. In a world that does not understand loyalty and fidelity, a faithful woman is hard to find.  

Solomon says this about the disloyal, unfaithful woman: And I find more bitter than death the woman whose heart is snares and nets, whose hands are fetters. He who pleases God shall escape from her, but the sinner shall be trapped by her. (Ecclesiastes 7:26)

Goodness is virtuous, kind, pure, generous, excellent, benevolent. It is moral excellence.

What’s the opposite of goodness? Badness.

God is abounding and overflowing in goodness.

Exodus 34:6-7a And the Lord passed before him and proclaimed, “The Lord, the Lord God, merciful and gracious, longsuffering, and abounding in goodness and truth, keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin.

Psalm 27:13 I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.

Psalm 31:19 Oh, how great is Your goodness, which you have laid up for those who fear You, which You have prepared for those who trust in You in the presence of the sons of men.

Psalm 52:1b The goodness of God endures continually.

Romans 2:4 Or do you despise the riches of His goodness, forbearance, and longsuffering, not knowing that the goodness of God leads you to repentance?

Romans 11:22 Therefore consider the goodness and severity of God: on those who fell, severity; but toward you, goodness, if you continue in His goodness. Otherwise you also will be cut off.

The Christian is full of goodness.

Romans 15:14 Now I myself am confident concerning you, my brethren, that you also are full of goodness, filled with all knowledge, able also to admonish one another. Our goodness is in God.Psalm 16:2 O my soul, you have said to the Lord, “You are my Lord, my goodness is nothing apart from You.”Psalm 23:6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Goodness accompanies the fruit of the Spirit.

Galatians 5:8-9 For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light (for the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness, righteousness, and truth), finding out what is acceptable to the Lord. Good works are the result of the goodness that God has planted within us.

Ephesians 2:10 For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.

Titus 1:8 For a bishop must be…. A lover of what is good.

1 Timothy 2:9-10 I desire…that the women adorn themselves….with good works.

Proverbs 31:11 She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.

1 Timothy 5:9-10 Do not let a widow under sixty years old be taken into the number…unless she has been …well reported for good works.

1 Peter 3:6 As Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror.

Isaiah 1:16b-17a Cease to do evil, learn to do good.

Titus 3:8 This is a faithful saying, and these things I want you to affirm constantly, that those who have believed in God should be careful to maintain good works. These things are good and profitable to men.

What things could possibly hinder us in goodness and good works, particularly in our marriages?

1. Straying from the truth. This happens when we drift away from close obedience by compromising, excusing, and tolerating sinfulness in ourselves. For example, though we know the Bible calls wives to be submissive, but we don’t do it, we are straying. Goodness is accompanied by the truth. We are to learn to do good.

2. Lack of faith. When we give way to fear and fail to trust God, we fall short of the mark. If we trust God, we are able to be submissive and follow our husbands because we have faith in Him.Goodness is accompanied by faith.

3. Lack of reverence for Christ will flow downstream, and we will not respect our husbands either. We are to be God-fearing women, adorned with reverence (1 Pet. 3:2). Goodness is accompanied by the fear of God.

4. Being self absorbed. When we look to ourselves instead of to Christ, we grow weary quickly and give up. When we are taken up with ourselves, we are not able to bring good to others. Goodness knows the source of all that is good is found in God and not in self.

5. Disobedience always hinders us in every way. We cannot bring our husbands good all the days of their lives if we are living in disobedience. Goodness is concerned with obedience.We are to walk as children of light. God’s goodness leads us to repentance, so when we are convicted of our sin, this is God being good to us.

6. Carelessness. When we are careless or lazy Christians, we will be careless wives, spending money thoughtlessly, speaking unwisely, wasting time. We are to be careful (not careless) to maintain good works.

7. Lack of joy. This robs us of our desire to do good because we are more concerned with others doing good to us. If we spend much time thinking about what nice things our husbands could do for us rather than meditating on how we can bring them good, we are in this joyless trap of self-centeredness. Goodness rejoices.

If we meditate on and admire God’s goodness, we will become lovers of the good and equipped to do good works. We will be on the look out for opportunities to show goodness to one another.

A definition: sympathetic, friendly, gentle, tender-hearted, generous. Also note the connection to mercy in many of the verses below. Mercy is a disposition to forgive, pity; it is compassionate, implies forbearance and sympathy. Kindness is bestowing blessings.

Nehemiah 9:17b But you are God, ready to pardon, gracious and merciful, slow to anger, abundant in kindness, and did not forsake them.

Psalm 117 Praise the Lord, all you Gentiles! Laud Him, all you peoples! For His merciful kindness is great toward us, and the truth of the Lord endures forever. Praise the Lord!

Isaiah 54:10 “For the mountains shall depart and the hills be removed, but my kindness shall not depart from you, nor shall My covenant of peace be removed,” says the Lord, who has mercy on you.

Titus 3:4-7 But when the kindness and the love of God our Savior toward man appeared, not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy He saved us, through the washing of regeneration and renewing of the Holy Spirit, whom He poured out on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Savior, that having been justified by His grace we should become heirs according to the hope of eternal life.

The godly woman speaks with kindness.

Proverbs 31:26 She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness.This means she has the law of kindness governing all she says. Psalm 141:3 is a prayer for God to set a watch at the “door of my lips.” We should ask God to station kindness as a guard there.

1 Peter 3:8-12 Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous; not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing. For “He who would love life and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips from speaking deceit. Let him turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and His ears are open to their prayers; But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.” (Also see Psalm 34:12-16)

We are to be kind to the brothers. And sisters!

Sometimes women find it easy to be kind to the brothers, but they are competitive and critical of the sisters.

2 Peter 1:7 But also for this very reason, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge, to knowledge self-control, to self-control perseverance, to perseverance godliness, to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness love.

Ephesians 4:31-32 Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.

Romans 12:10 Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another.

1Peter 4:9 Be hospitable to one another without grumbling.

We are to be kind to our enemies.

Luke 6:35 But love your enemies, do good, and lend, hoping for nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High. For He is kind to the unthankful and evil. Therefore be merciful, just as your Father also is merciful. A biblical love is characterized by kindness.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8a Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil, does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.

We want our families, our homes, and our church to be characterized by kindness. We want to be bestowing kindness and blessings on those around us. We are to be kind to our husbands.We are kind when we have a hot meal ready for them, when the home is running smoothly, the laundry is done (they don’t have to search for a clean shirt), when we manage the affairs of the home well.We bestow kindness in joyful sex.Women underestimate the kindness of sex. (Remember in Proverbs conjugal love is referred to as rejoicing with the wife of your youth.)

We bestow kindness when we respect, honor, and revere our husbands.

We are kind when we submit to them freely, without a struggle, joyfully.

An excellent wife is a crown of her husband, but she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones. Proverbs 12:4

Houses and riches are an inheritance from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord. Proverbs 19:14

A foolish son is the ruin of his father, and the contentions of a wife are a continual dripping. Proverbs 19:13

Hindrances

1. Anger: We give way too easily to our anger, annoyance, resentment. We are not slow to anger, but react.

2. We forget God’s kindness and mercy to us, so we are unforgiving.

3. We are inconstant. We let our emotions rule us and do not submit them to the Word.

4. We want to get even, so we refuse to be kind.

5. We are quick to criticize. We prefer our own plans and projects.

6. We are lazy, not diligent, in our spiritual life. We have bad habits, patterns that we have indulged. Perhaps our husbands cannot approach certain hot subjects because of the reaction they know they will get.

7. We judge one another and put stumbling blocks before one another.

8. We grow weary. We want to be thanked, appreciated, or noticed. So we withhold kindness.

9. We underestimate the power we have to bestow the blessing of kindness on our husbands, children, fellow Christians and the power the blessing has in their lives.

10. We are too quick to speak thoughtlessly. We don’t listen, but rather wrangle, argue, or complain.

What is longsuffering? Here’s what the dictionary says: continuing in spite of difficulties or obstacles, refusing to give up, remaining steadfast in purpose, bearing injuries, insults, or troubles patiently for a long, long time. (In other words, suffering for a long time.) It is similar to patience: the ability to endure without complaint, bearing suffering, provocation, delay, or tediousness with calmness and self-control, refusing to be provoked or angered, as by an insult.

What kinds of things require patience, endurance, or longsuffering? Difficulties, obstacles, injuries, insults, troubles, suffering, provocation, delay, and tediousness. That about sums it up, don’t you think? And the thought of suffering through so much seems impossible. Well, it is. Christianity is the right religion for all of us, because we need a Savior. In Christ we can find patience, but apart from Him we will all just blow a fuse with so much provocation in this world.

Let’s consider a few of these common stumbling blocks which call for patience and longsuffering.

1. Difficulties come in many varieties. They can be family difficulties, or relate to a job, schoolwork, or a barking dog in the neighborhood. Married women have difficulties; unmarried women have them too.

2. Obstacles are things that prevent or hinder you. They may be hard to get around or over or through. They could be physcial handicaps, schedules, finances,high prices of gas, or car problems.

3. Injuries are when you are hurt because someone has harmed,offended, or wronged you.

4. Insults injure our pride or hurt our feelings. Insults can come from a stranger on the street, a letter to the editor, or it could be from someone near and dear.

5. Troubles are, according to Ecclesiastes, what man is born to.

6. Suffering includes pain, loss, grief,or damage.

7. Provocation covers just about everything that is annoying.

8. Delays of all kinds can be provoking, whether it is a canceled flight, a traffic delay, a late guest, a long wait in the dentist office, a vacation post-poned.

9. Tediousness is when something is dull, boring, long, slow or tiresome.

So I think we would all agree that we need patience pretty much around the clock.Though we can see the need we have on a human level, it is quite a different thing to think that God is longsuffering toward us. He needs ongoing patience toward us. Does this mean that we provoke God? Well, just think about it for a minute.

Psalm 86:15 “But You, O Lord, are a God full of compassion, and gracious, longsuffering and abundant in mercy and truth.”

1 Timothy 1:16 “However, for this reason I obtained mercy, that in me first Jesus Christ might show all longsuffering, as a pattern to those who are going to believe on Him for everlasting life.”

2 Peter 3:14-15 “Therefore, beloved, looking forward to these things, be diligent to be found by Him in peace, without spot and blameless; and consider that the longsuffering of our Lord is salvation—as also our beloved brother Paul, according to the wisdom given to him, has written to you.”

God is longsuffering toward those who will receive His judgment. 1 Peter 3:20 “who formerly were disobedient, when once the Divine longsuffering waited in the days of Noah, while the ark was being prepared…”

He is the source of patience and longsuffering. We look to Him for our supply. Romans 15:5 “Now may the God of patience and comfort grant you to be like-minded toward one another, according to Christ Jesus, that you may with one mind and one mouth glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

The Scriptures are given to us for patience. Romans 15:4 “For whatever things were written before were written for our learning, that we through the patience and comfort of the Scriptures might have hope.”

We are to wait patiently for the Lord to work. Psalm 37:7 “Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him.”

2 Thessalonians 3:5 “Now may the Lord direct your hearts into the love of God and into the patience of Christ.”

We are to imitate older saints in persevering in trials. 2 Timothy 3:10-11 “But you have carefully followed my doctrine, manner of life, purpose, faith, longsuffering, love, perseverance, persecutions, afflictions, which happened to me at Antioch, at Iconium, at Lystra – what persecutions I endured. And out of them all the Lord delivered me.”

We are to be longsuffering in affliction. Romans 12:10-12 “Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another, not lagging in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord, rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer…”

Patience produces more fruit. James 1:2-4 “My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.”Romans 5:3-4 “And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; and patience, experience; and experience, hope.”

We are to be longsuffering toward one another. Ephesians 4:1-3 “I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”1 Thessalonians 5:14 “Now we exhort you, brethren, warn those who are unruly, comfort the fainthearted, uphold the weak, be patient with all”.

We are to produce fruit with patience. Luke 8:15 “But the ones that fell on the good ground are those who, having heard the word with a noble and good heart, keep it and bear fruit with patience.”

We are to be longsuffering with joy. Colossians 1:10-11 “That you may walk worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing Him, being fruitful in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; strengthened with all might, according to His glorious power, for all patience and longsuffering with joy.”

We are to be patient in hope. 1 Thessalonians 1:2-3 “We give thanks to God always for you all, making mention of you in our prayers, remembering without ceasing your work of faith, labor of love, and patience of hope in our Lord Jesus Christ in the sight of our God and Father.”

Prayer requires perseverance. Ephesians 6:18 “…praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints.”

We are to be diligent in pursuing patience. 2 Peter 1:5-8 “But also for this very reason, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge, to knowledge self control, to self-control perseverance, to perseverance godliness, to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness love. For if these things are yours and abound, you will be neither barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.”1 Timothy 6:11 “But you, O man of God, flee these things and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, gentleness.”

What is peace? Peace is a state of calm, quiet, and harmony; the absence of strife, anxiety, or disorder. It is not quarrelsome.

God is the God of peace:

Isaiah 9:6 For unto us a Child is born, unto us a Son is given; and the government will be upon His shoulder. And His name will be called Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.Ephesians 2:14 “For He Himself is our peace, who has made both one, and has broken down the middle wall of separation.

Romans 16:20 And the God of peace will crush Satan under your feet shortly.

2 Corinthians 13:11 Finally, brethren, farewell. Become complete. Be of good comfort, be of one mind, live in peace; and the God of love and peace will be with you.

He gives us peace.

The Priestly Blessing in Numbers 6:22-27: And the Lord spoke to Moses, saying: “Speak to Aaron and his sons, saying, ‘This is the way you shall bless the children of Israel. Say to them: “The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make His face shine upon you, And be gracious to you; The Lord lift up His countenance upon you, And give you peace.”’ “So they shall put My name on the children of Israel, and I will bless them.”

When God is present with us for blessing, we have peace. When God makes His face to shine upon us, and when He lifts up His countenance to look upon us, it means He is looking on us, His people, with favor. And when we contemplate this idea — that God really does delight in us and favor us — that should give us great peace and joy.

We have peace with God through Christ and in Christ.

Romans 5:1 “Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.”

John 16:33 “These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.”

John 14:27 “Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”

Christ has accomplished our justification which has put us right with God, and that means there is no more enmity between us because we are in Christ. Thanks be to God! This is the heart of the gospel. Because of the gospel of grace, it is possible for us to be cheerful in a world full of trials and trouble because Christ reigns, and we are in Him. The obvious result of our new standing is hearts full of rest and peace. But we forget who we are and what God has accomplished in Christ. We need to be reminded that fear is antithetical to the peace we have., and the only way not to be troubled and fearful in this world is to find peace in Christ.

His peace guards us, rules us.

Col. 3:15 “And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful.”

Psalm 4:6-8 “There are many who say, ‘Who will show us any good?’ Lord, lift up the light of Your countenance upon us. You have put gladness in my heart, more than in the season that their grain and wine increased. I will both lie down in peace, and sleep; for You alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.”

Philippians 4:5-7 Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Our hearts are unruly and easily troubled; they need to be ruled and guarded. God’s peace does both: it is a ruler and a guardian. We are instructed here to commit all our troubles to the Lord in prayer with cheerful, thankful hearts. And when we do this, a mysterious thing happens, something no one can understand. We have peace. God sets a guard at our heart, and the guard’s name is Peace. A guard is a protection, a watchman who keeps us safe, like a sentry who stays alert, prepared for attack.

Philippians 4:8-9 “Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy – meditate on these things. The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you.

God has promised never to leave us or forsake us. We are given a delightful task: think about good, true, and lovely things. Now how hard is that? If we meditate on those praiseworthy things, God will be our peace. If we meditate on things that are lies, things that are low, unjust, impure, unlovely, bad or ugly, we have no guarantee of God’s peace. God has given us the power in Christ to do what He commands. We are enabled to do this, and it is a good thing to do.

Biblical wisdom is characterized by peace.

James 3:17-18 But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy. Now the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.

We are to pursue peace.

Psalm 34:14 Depart from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it.

2 Timothy 2:22 Flee also youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.

Romans 12:18 If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.

Matthew 5:9 Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.

1 Corinthians 7:15 But God has called us to peace.

1 Thessalonians 5:13b Be at peace among yourselves.

If you think of the application to marriage, you have to see that living peaceably with your husband means not picking fights, being quick to be a peacemaker, putting things right; chasing after all that makes for a peaceful, harmonious, calm and quiet home. By quiet, I don’t mean there is no music playing; rather, there is no fighting or fussing.

We can pray for the peace of God.

Romans 1:7 Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.

2 Peter 1:2 Grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord, as His divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us by glory and virtue.

Hindrances to Peace

If there is a fundamental lack of peace with God, then the solution is salvation. Call on the Lord and you will be saved. But Christians can become troubled over many things, and our homes can become in great need of peace. Here are some of the common hindrances to our peace.

1. Anxiety: Remember that Christ will never leave you or forsake you. Worrying over things makes you an unlovely wife. Remember that we are to cast our cares on Him, and let the peace of Christ guard our hearts.

2. Gossip, backbiting, and a critical spirit: These always stir up trouble. This includes sharing things you ought not about your husband instead of respecting him. This will cause a breech in your peace as a couple.

3. Prayerlessness: Well what do we expect? We need to give God our concerns instead of worrying over them, or “oversharing” about them to people who are not in a position to help us. Remember that your husband is God’s problem. Nevertheless, a woman should seek help from her elders or pastor if there are serious troubles.

4. Not living in peace with our family, neighbors, and fellow Christians: Instead of returning good for evil, being gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy, we can be on the “outs” with many people, and of course that can include a husband. Remember “the heart of her husband trusts her; she brings him good all his days.”

5. Not being of one mind: This can mean that you are not being willing to be reasoned with, that you view some subjects as simply closed. Have you drifted apart? I often tell women to get back on “his page.” This includes being submissive over issues that you have simply refused to budge on, and of course I am assuming they are lawful issues.

6. Showing partiality, being hypocritical: Some wives simply ignore their husbands. They may talk “big” about the Christian life but they are not living the simplest commands out. Or it can be the result of making a “career” out of your own interests, and not his.

7.Not growing; not imitating Paul. We ought to be growing Christians, not stagnant. We ought to be willing to apply everything we learn first in our marriages. Then we can spread it out in other areas. Sometimes it is more appealing to be community-minded before we are husband-centered. Let’s keep our priorities straight.

8. Not pursuing peace. This can happen by just letting things slide. We let the sun go down on our anger. We keep a record of wrongs. This does not result in peace.

9. And finally, ingratitude. This was the sin of the Israelites They forgot God’s goodness. Wives should make a habit of expressing real gratitude to God and to their husbands for all His mercies.