When we come to discuss particular points of social etiquette, it’s important to look at the big, bigger, and biggest picture. Most of the rules regarding manners were established hundreds of years ago and have been honored and acknowledged for generations by our own ancestors and all their aunts and uncles. I dare say that your great-grandma was telling your grandfather at the table not to chew with his mouth open, to put his napkin on his lap, and not to talk with his mouth full. Let’s hear it for good manners! But manners were made for man, not man for the manners.
A bunch of these older traditions and social expectations have morphed and evolved into their present forms, and for good reason. I can remember reading through a old book on etiquette and breathing a sigh of relief that we have moved on from some of those out-dated customs. But we still have many cultural expectations, especially regarding weddings and showers, funerals Continue reading ‘Messing with Manners’
Sandi Boswell has another good piece (it is in response to a comment, so look below her article) on the why’s and why not’s of shower giving. The thing I always appreciate about Sandi is her gracious way of tackling thorny issues. She knows there is always a deeper right than being right. (There is a rude way of correcting someone’s rudeness.) So if our friends and relatives are falling short on some of the rules of etiquette, whether it is on this topic or on others, we are not to look down our noses at them, but attribute the best of motives. Love covers it. And love is the thing we are striving for in all our applications of etiquette.
With all the sweet babies being added to the families in our congregation, as well as the long line-up of upcoming weddings in our church bulletin, the question of who should be the one to host the baby or bridal shower is very relevant indeed. Take a look over at Protocol Matters for a great article on this tender topic.
Here is a little wedding etiquette blurb I wrote a while back for our church email list. And since it’s almost June and all, I thought I may as well post it up here.
With quite a few weddings filling up the calendar over the next several months, it’s time for a few more etiquette reminders. Courtesy is simply love expressed in tangible ways. A lack of courtesy is a lack of love, whether intentional or not. So think of wedding courtesies as incarnational living. And these courtesies work both ways: guests to the bride and groom, and bride and groom to the guests.
The bride and groom’s families are spending a good amount of time on the guest list. Due to facilities with limited seating, as well as limited budgets, it’s simply impossible for the parents to invite everyone in our Christian community, even if they feel that everyone is near and dear. So don’t take it personally if you are not invited. Don’t ask the bride or groom if you can come……and don’t just assume you can go if you didn’t get an invitation. Students, you are particularly to pay attention to this! You may not invite your friends and roommates to go with you to a wedding unless they were specifically invited. A wedding just Continue reading ‘A Wedding Invitation is a Beautiful Thing’
Though Peter warns us to be hospitable without grumbling, it does not follow that hospitality is a drag. Far from it! All those labors I mentioned in the last post (menu planning, table setting, shopping, cooking, cleaning) that are related to hospitality can be very enjoyable. I love having people over for dinner, and I thoroughly enjoy all the aspects of it. But I still have to keep a sharp lookout for temptation, or I can stumble like Martha did. It is always the little foxes that spoil the vineyard.
In 2 Corinthians 9:6-8 Paul says some wonderful and important things that relate to showing hospitality. He says if we sow sparingly, we will reap sparingly; if we sow bountifully, we will reap bountifully. And, by the way, God loves a cheerful giver. He doesn’t want any grumpy sowing. And then in verse 8 he says, “And God is able to make all grace abound toward you, that you, always having all sufficiency in all things, may have an abundance for every good work.” Notice the use of the word all: all grace, all sufficiency, all things, and every work. Sounds like there are no exceptions. Continue reading ‘Seed Sowing’
Hospitality is a way of showing friendliness, and what better way than to break bread together? But hospitality can be draining and stressful. Take a look at our friend Martha. She was entertaining the Lord Himself at her house, and she let the stress of all the preparations cause her to act foolishly. She needed a little help in the kitchen, and her annoyance at her sister is recorded for all time right there in the gospel of Luke (10:39-42) where the Lord gently but pointedly corrected her.
I have a lot of affection for Martha. Don’t you? Had I been in her shoes, with my sister hanging out in the living room while I was madly trying to put on a fabulous feast for who knows how many, my name would be right there in Luke instead of hers. I think I know how she felt, though I am still surprised that she had the nerve to go ask Jesus to do something about it. I think I would have just stewed and scowled and been grumpy in the kitchen, snippy and chilly at everyone until I got my heart right. Continue reading ‘A Little Help in the Kitchen’
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