Archive for the 'Marriage' Category

Constant Love

IMG_6145Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.

 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her

 

So today is Valentine’s Day and I wanted to write a little something on the topic of married love. That time when you were first falling in love was a very heady time. Chances are good that if you are a few years out from that, and have kids, and life has somewhat eclipsed your romance, that you are not currently in a phase where your husband calling you makes your heart race. In fact, you may even answer the phone with a complaint about your day, a comment about something he forgot to do, or just something incredibly mundane. Truthfully, things could be at a point where you are seeing him as an extra chore on your list. Maybe when you see your husband you see the things you wish he was doing, a life you wish you had, or a long list of failed expectations.

Continue reading ‘Constant Love’

But what if he is a toad?

When ever the topic of submission comes up, the standard objection is “But where do you draw the line?” This is a good question which we ought to consider.

We live in an egalitarian society, where any kind of hierarchy is considered to be bad. But our Maker has established a chain of authority and submission for His people, and we ought to give His instructions our attention. God’s Word is for His people. I do not expect an unbeliever to understand or apply God’s standards that He has given for own His people to follow. These are house rules that are ours, and we do not impose them on our neighbors. But we also tend to run to the hard cases (read Rachel’s post The Human Shield) to create an argument against the easy cases. Were there no abused women in Ephesus when Paul wrote his words about submission to them? Of course there probably were, and wise pastors would watch out for them. But . . . were there no quarrelsome wives in Ephesus either? Paul was addressing the latter, and we still need to hear this today.

Submission is a holy thing. Why do I say this? Because Jesus submitted to the Father. Submission is seen and lived out for us in the very Godhead. “Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross. Therefore God also has highly exalted Him and given Him the name which is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of those in heaven, and of those on earth, and of those under the earth, and that every tongue Continue reading ‘But what if he is a toad?’

5 Questions Wives Should Not Ask Their Husbands

Recently  there was a great little post about 5 questions husbands should ask their wives. Good questions.

Of course I starting thinking about what kind of questions we wives should ask our husbands, but more than that, I immediately thought of questions we should not ask them. Here are five questions a wife should never, in my opinion anyway, ask her husband. (And if you already have, I hope you just laugh at yourself now that I bring it up and not get mad at me.)

#1 Do you think I am fat?

What a terrible question! You should figure out the answer yourself by looking in the mirror or checking the scale, because if he says, ” Yes, dear, you are a little pudgy,” he’s automatically in the doghouse. How insensitive! If he says,”No” (like a good husband should), he may still be in trouble if you think he might be  fudging. Other questions in this category include, “Do I look old? Am I ugly?” Ugly? No. Stupid? Yes.

#2 Do you think Susie (or Sandy or Sally) is attractive?

If he says, “Yes, she’s gorgeous,” then what? Most of the time the next question is, “Do you think she’s prettier than I am?” Now we have gone from bad to worse! Now he’s in an impossible situation, and you are being way too self-absorbed. But if he hems and haws (“Well, I’m not really sure. She’s kind of pretty I think…”) then you’ll be tempted to think he’s not being honest. What possible good can come from having this Continue reading ’5 Questions Wives Should Not Ask Their Husbands’

Peace and Comfort

The modern woman thinks she knows what a man wants because if you spend any time in the check-out lane at a grocery store, you are bombarded with the message that all a man really wants is a woman with an incredible body. But if that’s really the case, then why do so many of the marriages of super-bodies fall apart?

The truth is that men want a lot of things that never get mentioned on the cover of Cosmo.  They want respect. They want companionship. They want a hot meal and a happy wife.  They want mutual due benevolence. The bottom line is, what ever else they may want, they want peace and comfort in their homes.

How do I know this? Consider all the descriptions of the miserable husband in Proverbs. In every case, he is driven from his home to the roof or the desert because of a mouthy, complaining, unhappy woman.

So what am I saying? Look at it this way. What would most husbands want: a wife who is feeling overweight and in the dumps, or a wife who is feeling overweight and cheerful? A wife who is crying about the pay check not going far enough, or a frugal wife who is rejoicing in the hard times? A wife who is strung out and angry because Continue reading ‘Peace and Comfort’

Content to Be Needy

Each and every one of us has needs. We have spiritual needs, physical needs, emotional needs, and there’s probably another category I haven’t thought of. There’s no denying that the human race is a needy bunch, and women are no exception. So there’s point one.

The second point is that God made us this way. It’s not a sin to be needy, but there are ways that this neediness can lead to sin, and I’ll get to that in a minute. God created us to need community, to need love and acceptance and fellowship. Ultimately, we need God. When we are put right with our Creator, our deepest needs for forgiveness and restoration and fellowship with our Father in Heaven are met. But even after being put right with God, because we are still fallen creatures, we will Continue reading ‘Content to Be Needy’

Communication Blindspots

When you are driving down the road, and you’re thinking of changing lanes, you have to do a head check, because if you don’t, bad things can happen. Your mirror won’t show a car if it is right smack in the middle of your blind spot.

In the same way, we all have personal blindspots. We think we see, but there is something very large and very near that we are completely missing. We’re on a collision course, and if we do not proceed with caution, we are going to get clobbered or we’re going to clobber someone else.

Some of our blindspots are those little quirky things that are not sinful. It gives our loved ones something to overlook (or even love) about us. But sometimes a blindspot is a snare that causes real trouble. And often we are guilty of the very same blindspot that annoys us in others. We get bothered when they move their car over without looking, but we are guilty of cutting off cars regularly ourselves, and we seldom notice it.

Let me give you some made-up examples of this kind of blindspot. You get annoyed when someone interrupts you, Continue reading ‘Communication Blindspots’