We’ve all heard of Bride-zilla, and we may have even seen one or (horrors!) been one. Bride-zilla is the stereotype of the bride who is self-absorbed to the extreme, impatient with anyone who is messing with “her day” by bringing the wrong color mints or the wrong size boutonnieres or flubbing up in a host of ways that are not exactly as she ordered or dreamed of. The wedding is all about her, not her parents, her guests, or even her groom. She is distracted by her wanting to please herself.
I once had the pleasure of seeing the polar opposite of the bride-zilla, and that was a sweet bride whose groom had the flu and had to sit down during the ceremony. Then, he was so ill that he had to miss the reception entirely while she carried on! She was amazing! She pulled it off gracefully and graciously, more concerned with him than for herself. She danced with her dad and tossed her bouquet, not ruining the party for her guests by throwing a tantrum fit or a Continue reading ‘Mom-zilla’
Whenever you take on any kind of project, you will run into obstacles. This is especially true of things that will, by necessity, take a long time. Think of losing weight and getting fit. Think of getting organized, redecorating, or teaching yourself some new skill. The thing is, it is easy to get distracted, it is easy to lose your motivation, and it is easy to change your mind. Maybe you lose three pounds and feel better so you start eating cookies again. Maybe you decide the new skill doesn’t really suit you, or it makes a mess, or it is frustrating, so you give up.
But what if this long term project is other people? What if you started out all motivated having children, but now you are tired, frustrated, and feeling lost? In healthy christian communities there will be young people growing up with an admiration for the work of raising children. It is easy to stand on a hill looking out over all the landscape, and see the destination far away, in all it’s beauty. It is easy to see why this is a glorious calling. It is easy, because the view is clear. Many young couples start out their parenting journey with a clear, happy, optimistic perspective. They see, off in the distance, the heavenly city. They cheerfully say “Yes! Give us some children to take there!” Even the shadowy parts look pretty from the top of a hill. They just add shading! What a beautiful, textured view on the way to this heavenly city! They can hardly wait to get started!
One of the main troubles parents will face on this long term journey is discouragement. Continue reading ‘The Long Term View’
I was chatting with Mom on the the phone the other day when she said, “Hey, do you remember that blog we used to write on?” It all came flooding back. I meant to write something on that blog! Of course this was probably a week and a half ago by now, but in the meantime we have had a birthday, a holiday, a mini family reunion, and I have stared down the laundry with an unflinching gaze. There is always a lot to be distracted by, caught up in, and busy with. A lot of little things. And that is good!
The last few weeks I have been really focusing on the all-important issue of when to run the dishwasher. Continue reading ‘The Littleness of Motherhood’
Things have been pretty much like the weather around here. One day 65 degrees, sunny, and the kids are all outside playing in t-shirts. Then the next day we are having a wind-snow-sleet blowathon. This is the way things are in Idaho at such tender times of the year as March. But we have been matching ourselves to it nicely. One day I have a chance to sew – with the windows open incidentally. So I made Blaire a quick skirt out of some hilarious vintage fabric that I love. I bought this in the form of a vintage (epically unflattering) apron at a yard sale. Later, I made it into a maternity skirt which I wore when I was pregnant with Lina. Then it was a curtain in my craft room. Anyway…
She needed something to match the new sweater that I had just finished knitting for her. Yes, you read that right. This was my first real knit since the morning-sick phase, and I was so glad that I was able to wrap it up in a reasonable time frame. Anyway, along with this brilliant and sunny happenstance, we had a major moment, the sort that only comes your way once in a wonderful while.
Let me tell you all about it. It was mar-ve-lous. The day was sunny (as mentioned above), and gave me much reason to appreciate having a completely fenced back yard. I sent the kids outside to play. I can see them easily from the house, and I was aware that they were playing in mud. Continue reading ‘Some Doings of Every Kind’
There are four little girls in our house, and as time marches on, we are finding ourselves dealing with issues that are new to us. Turns out that we don’t have a bevy of toddlers anymore, and all our little people are growing up. Among the many delightful and fun things about our kids getting older, we have also found some opportunities to become confused. Little problems look different when you are old enough to talk about them at great length. Self expression makes things easier in so many ways, and then occasionally it offers parents an opportunity to look at each other blankly and wonder. Who is this person?! Where did THAT come from? Sometimes the more they talk, the less you understand. What seemed like a simple discipline issue becomes something rather monumental. Continue reading ‘On Misreading Daughters’
It’s true! Baby number six has been making its tiny presence known in this house for the last many weeks. I just read the other day that hormone is the Greek word for impact. SO insightful. I mean, I try to be a pretty mellow person. But give me one whiff of a pregnancy-related hormone, and my body goes off like a bottle rocket of over-reactions. Luckily for me, there is a houseful of children here to sprinkle humor all over life. Blaire pretends to puke, rushing off to the bathroom, making everyone else howl with laughter. The bigger kids love to hush each other up whenever some kind of food is mentioned, “DON’T TALK ABOUT FOOD OR MOM WILL PUKE!!!” And we are old enough now to know that we forget about this phase later. We know that the baby at the end is worth anything in the middle, and more than anything we know that this baby is a gift. So, happy times all around! Continue reading ‘Baby Time.’