For instance, we are to rejoice always. How can we do this when we don’t feel like rejoicing? We can pretend until it gets too hard, and then we can snap at the kids. The Bible tells us to love our  children. How can we do this when we are tired and the kids need our attention and patience? Patience wears thin quickly when we are looking to our own resources and clamping down on our own annoyance.

If we think that we can live the Christian life merely by having lots of high-sounding biblical principles, then we are guaranteed a face plant. And when we face plant, we can thank God that He has kindly shown us our weakness, so we can turn to Him for strength. We are needy creatures and we need a Savior. When we look to Christ and ask for His strength, He freely gives us all we need. This includes a cheerful spirit, even when we don’t feel like it, love for our neighbor when our neighbor is unkind. Jesus carries our burdens, comforts our sorrows, refreshes our spirits, raises us from the dead with Him.

We must not simply reduce the Christian life to a list of rules about courtship, marriage, and childrearing. No matter how many books we read or how many seminars and conferences we attend, if we are not looking to Christ, it is all a bunch of nothing. But if we have grace, then good teaching will point us to Christ over and over again, and we will become more like Him with each new principle that we learn and apply. This is our sanctification. Being and doing are two different things, and the one must precede the other. First we are to be attached to Christ; then we do what He commands. This is how we work out what He has worked in.

Sometimes we are greatly encouraged by the prayers of our faithful friends, and it is of great use to us to share our sins and temptations with one another. James points out that when a godly person prays for us, much is accomplished. If we act as though we don’t sin or we don’t need prayer, I John 1:8-10 says, “we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgiven us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say we have not sinned, we make Him a liar, and His word is not in us.”

It is clear that we all need forgiveness, and we need to extend forgiveness to one another. These verses do not mean that we need someone (a priest) to forgive us. Christ forgives us. And in church when we confess our sins and the minister declares the absolution, it is not that he is forgiving us; he is declaring that Christ has forgiven us. So we do not need to go to weekly confession and tell our sins to a priest. But we need to confess our sins to God, who forgives us; and we need to confess our sins to one another.  So far so good.

It is good to confess your sins to someone who is part of the problem (to seek their forgiveness) or part of the solution (who will counsel or pray for you). But what about just sharing your sins as a means of being “transparent” with your brothers or sisters in Christ? Is that what this verse is talking about? Are we to share our sins like we talk about the weather? I don’t think so.

First of all, it is good to consider if what you are sharing is actually profitable for the hearers. Are they going to be edified by what you are sharing with them? If not, then maybe you should keep quiet. Though confessing your sins and temptations may seem like it makes you feel better, it can also be a snare. Sometimes women over-share and make everyone else uncomfortable. They may do this because they are insecure and need reassurance that they really are forgiven. In this case they may need to quit confessing to their girlfriends and go visit their father, mother, husband, or pastor.

Once we heard of a group of young high-school aged men who would regularly meet together for accountability regarding internet porn. They would confess their sins to one another, and the group would pray together, and then they would go sin again the next week. My husband had a great idea for these guys  if they really wanted accountability: they should tell their moms and see what their moms would do to help them with accountability! That introduces a whole new level of accountability, and it is doubtful any of them wanted that kind of accountability at all. They were far more comfortable sharing their failures, i.e. being transparent, with their peers who were failing right along with them.

If we are eager to confess our sins with those who can’t really help us or do anything about it, then we might consider whether we are motivated by something other than repentance. On the other hand, if we are not confessing our sins to the appropriate people, we may be prideful, muddled, or too disconnected and independent.

Some people like to confess their sins to show off. “Let me tell you the really awful thing I did!!!!”  Others are needy and insecure and want to feel forgiven. These people need to be taught to confess their sins rightly and to confess the right sins. For example, they may need to confess the sin of unbelief, the sin of looking to people for forgiveness instead of looking to Christ. Others confess their sins willy-nilly as conversation starters. They need to consider whether they are simply looking for attention or are trying to look like they are super-spiritual.

In all these things, we are to take Scripture as our guide. We are to confess our sins and pray for one another. And the fervent prayer of a righteous man will get the deed done. Then we should move on to converse about other things, like the good things God has set before us to do.

But sometimes we can elevate these great quotes from the Puritans to the level of “super-law” in our minds. We get hit hard with an affliction, and try as we might, we can’t find the wine. All we are doing is fumbling around in the dark looking for the light switch. And so we begin to think that we are pretty pitiful Christians if we can’t do better than this. We conclude that we are being punished for our lack of faith if we are not laying hold of the vintage wine. And this can lead to introspection and self-condemnation which are the last things needed in the midst of a hard providence.

Yes, the Bible tells us we should rejoice always, that we should count it all joy when we meet various trials. And of course, this is right and true. But rejoicing doesn’t always involve balloons and confetti and popping the champagne. Rejoicing in the Lord in the midst of suffering means thanking God for all things, even when it is hard things. Rejoicing may mean singing a song when we don’t necessarily feel like it, reciting a psalm, counting our blessings, giving thanks, remembering God’s promises, waiting for God’s deliverance, or doing our duties as we wait for healing and help.

So as we read the Puritans, and other writers like them, we ought to keep from laying heavy burdens on our consciences that God did not mean for us to bear.In other words, don’t beat yourself up if you can’t find the wine bottles in the basement. Don’t assume that you are a lousy Christian if you are feeling weary, lonely, or sad. These feelings are not sinful in themselves. We are to steward these feelings by the grace of God, make the most of our afflictions, and turn a profit on them by faith. But one of the things that will hinder that process is imposing a false standard on ourselves and then grieving over our inability to attain to it.

First off, go ahead and acknowledge that it is humanly impossible. You are going to need great supernatural strength and help. Then humbly ask God to be your help. Ask Him to organize and guide your week. Commit it all to Him and then set your alarm clock by faith, committing Monday morning to Him, and go to bed.

Then, when the alarm goes off,  turn to what can be done on the human level. We can ask for strength and wisdom and grace, but we still need to get it all done. God isn’t going to actually do it for us; He is going to enable us to do it with our own feeble brains and His mighty arm. It really does help to take one day at a time. Maybe just one hour of each day at a time. Each day has enough trouble of its own. So, what does Monday look like? It is usually do-able, if you take it one task, one job, one hour, or one item on the list at a time. We can get enough grace for the moment; it’s when we get  anxious over it that we get bogged down, down, down. But getting grace for Monday morning, for the 9-10 a.m. slot is entirely feasible.

Sometimes God gives us “hunker down” times when we have to put on our hip-waders and plod on through the bog. Eventually, if we keep plodding, things will open up. Those plodding times can be very fruitful times, even if they are difficult. So don’t lose heart. This may be a short time when you feel smooshed, or it may stretch out longer. But either way, you will not be forsaken or deserted by the God who loves you. He will help you through this.

And the other thing to remember in the midst of heavy duties is this: it could be far worse and far more difficult. Look around the world for a moment. Consider the earthquake devastation in Haiti, for instance. That is real trouble. That is extreme trouble. Consider how your troubles measure up to that. I bet your troubles are not as bad as they could be, but I guarantee that you can always make them worse. Your work load is not a national disaster. Thank God for His sovereign majesty and power and admire His providence. This will put your week into perspective.

Then walk on into Monday morning with your sleeves rolled up and pray as you go. God will bless you.

I have always thought of this verse in terms of financial and material blessings: God gives to me, and I in turn give to others. So it startled me the other morning when I noticed the context of this statement in Matthew 10. Jesus has called His disciples, and He is giving them instructions as He sends them out to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.

“Heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, raise the dead, cast out devils: freely ye have received, freely give” (vs. 8).

The giving that the disciples will be doing is not in the form of financial gifts. They will be giving themselves away, laying themselves out for sick, unclean, dead, and demon-possessed people. And they’ll be getting no tax deductible receipt at the end of the month. Not very glamorous work. They received freely from Christ, and now they are to give to others by means of His power and grace.

So how do we do this kind of giving? We certainly do not have the same gifts as the apostles. But we do have the same Gospel, the same forgiveness of sins; we have received the same Good News. How did we receive healing, cleansing, resurrection life, and deliverance? Freely. Joyfully. Gratefully. And that is the way we are to give others the Good News. In other words, this verse is about evangelism. We are to give this Good News freely, the same way we received it.

I think by extension we can also apply this to all kinds of service to others, whether it is for our newborn children, our aging parents, our uncooperative co-workers, or the pedestrian walking casually across the street when we are in a hurry to get somewhere. It’s a great standard to hold ourselves to; it is a form of doing unto others the way we would like them to do unto us.  How do we receive a cup of cold water? We should give it the same way.

And finally, I think it does apply to financial giving. How do we receive a big check in the mail? With a whoop and a holler? So we give it the same way (only we do the whooping quietly in our closet).

Mary’s first allegiance is to the Lord. She submits to the angel’s message, calling herself the Lord’s handmaid. And this is no minor thing. She has been greeted in a startling way with startling news. And no sooner has the angel departed than she “arose” and went “with haste” to her cousin Elizabeth. She obeys quickly, loyal to God and to His messenger. She is teachable, responsive to God’s leading, loyal to His command.

Later she is loyal to her husband Joseph who is himself a loyal man, faithful and responsive to God. He is “raised from sleep” and “did as the angel of the Lord had bidden him, and took unto him his wife” (Matthew 1:24). In the next chapter the angel appears to Joseph in another dream, telling him to take Mary and the child to Egypt. And “he arose” and “took the young child and his mother by night and departed into Egypt” (2:14). Joseph is obedient to the angel’s command, and Mary is obedient to Joseph. She is faithful and loyal.

We can we learn from Mary’s example to us. She portrays a lesson of loyalty for us wives and daughters. She moves quickly in obedience and faith. Her first loyalty is to her Creator, the Lord of heaven and earth. He leads her through her husband, a faithful man himself. Loyalty and faithfulness are rewarded and blessed.

Sometimes women are quick to abandon their loyalties when a little pressure is applied,  revealing the weak nature of their loyalty. A daughter may be quick to abandon the authority of a loving father, transferring her loyalty to another man against her father’s wishes. This is thin loyalty if it is so quickly overthrown.  A wife may be quick to disobey her husband, to criticize him to her friends, or to drag her feet when he is trying to lead her. This is thin loyalty if it so quickly gives way. But a stubborn loyalty is a strong defense against foolishness. Loyalty and wisdom are good friends.

It is easy to be loyal when you agree with your father or your husband. But honoring and obeying your father is a commandment with a promise. A relationship unblessed by parents will not be blessed by God. A wife who refuses to follow her husband cannot expect God’s blessing to rest on her. (Of course, I am not talking about absolute authority here. If a father or husband is being disobedient himself, he has forfeited his authority, as we see in the case of Abigail and Nabal.)

The thing Christian women should want to cultivate is a hard-headed loyalty that withstands assault, a loyalty you can stomp on and it won’t crack. Loyalty to whom? First to God. Then to parents. This is later transferred at marriage to the husband.  Of course even after marriage there will always be a loyalty to parents, but marriage is a legal transaction that should transfer the priority of loyalty from parents to husband.

Sometimes God tests our loyalty to see what it is made of. I have seen young women submit to their parents when they didn’t feel at all like it, and God blessed them for it and richly rewarded them down the road. But I have also seen them abandon their loyalty to their parents and subsequently wreck their lives. It is a serious thing to depart from the counsel of your parents. If it is done at all, it should be done on moral grounds and with an understanding of the gravity of such a departure.

I have seen wives submit joyfully to their husbands identifying with them in thick and thin. And I’ve seen wives abandon their husbands and children in shocking ways. All this is to say that Mary was loyal. She may have wavered a bit when she and her sons stood outside wanting to speak with Jesus in Matthew 12:46-50. I’m not sure what was going on there. But the course of her life, from the manger to the Cross, was one of faithful loyalty to God and to the means He would use to save the world.

“But the path of the just is like the shining sun, that shines ever brighter unto the perfect day.” The elderly may feel their age very acutely; their strength and life may seem dimmer each day. But the truth is their path is shining brighter with the passing of each day. Sounds a bit like 2 Corinthians 4:16: “Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day.”

God turns things upside down. The body starts wearing down, but the spirit of the Christian grows newer and newer, the path ahead brighter than ever. The eye of faith sees the unseen and has hope.

On the flip side: “The way of the wicked is like darkness; they do not know what makes them stumble.” (Prov. 4:19)

Jesus offended the Jews like crazy, and of course He was not guilty of any sin. They were the guilty ones, guilty for taking offense at the Messiah, for having their pride wounded, for being angry that their toes were stepped on. They stumbled over the stone which was given for their deliverance.

In our culture today, when someone is offended, everyone stops with shocked silence. We think that taking offense means that someone actually, objectively wronged us and is therefore guilty of some sin or crime. But that is not always the case. For example, if my “Merry Christmas!” offends my neighbor, then that is his problem, not mine. If I must live to please all my neighbors, then I will have an uphill battle, that is for sure.

Of course sometimes we are offended by real sinfulness in another person, and we should be. But more often than not, we are offended by imaginary sins or by personality quirks. For example, your roommate has an annoying habit, and it gets on your nerves. You should not be offended. The new bride did not send you a thank-you note. You should not be offended. Your friend did not invite you to her Christmas party. You should not be offended. Your husband didn’t read your mind and know that you wanted to talk. You should not be offended. Your boss complimented your co-worker when you did all the real work. You should not be offended. These things may not be sins at all. You may be attributing motives to each of the offendees, and you may be wrong.

Now this is tricky. Our flesh is very good at taking offense. We are offended quite easily and take pleasure in it. A mother can be offended when her four-year-old spills milk on the freshly mopped floor. A wife can be offended when her husband fails to compliment her  on dinner or on the new haircut. A daughter can be offended when Mom suggests that her skirt is too tight. Neighbors can be offended by the political signs in your yard or the noise from your family barbecues. We can become offended by sales clerks, traffic lights, grocery prices, or coffee that isn’t hot enough.

So I am suggesting that taking offense is wrong, bad, and sinful. Instead of assuming that the offending party is the one in the wrong, consider assuming that you are wrong to take offense. Then work from there. It’s amazing how it will simplify your life.

Anxiety comes from telling ourselves scary stories. What if I never get married? What if I get married to the wrong guy and then we are miserable? What if my car skids across the road into the other lane? What if I get fired? What if the house burns down? What if I get struck by lightning?

Pride is fed by telling bad stories where we are always the winners and others always lose. Pride is the prettiest, the smartest, the richest, the most enviable, everyone’s favorite. In fact, bad stories can feed all kinds of bad behavior, and bad stories are necessary to justify bad behavior. When you have to explain to yourself over and over why you were really right, chances are very good that you were really wrong.

The trick is to learn to be a good interrupter. Break in to the bad stories and shut them off. Start telling good stories, believable stories, wise stories. Love is kind and does not parade itself, not even in stories. It isn’t puffed up, and it doesn’t think evil of others. It hopes for the best and is not envious. Love is a good story teller.

1 Timothy 5:4 tells us that if anyone has a mother or grandmother who is a widow, they should “first learn to show piety at home and to repay their parents; for this is good and acceptable before God.” We often look for “ministry” that is far away, across the world, or helping people we do not know. And, of course, there is a place for such ministry in the church. But this passage tells us that we ought to keep our priorities straight. Before we start trying to export our piety, we had better have a goodly stock of it in our own homes. Show your piety at home. How? By taking care of your aging mother or grandmother. But that may require around-the-clock care, patience, sacrifice, diligence, time, effort, and money. Exactly. It may not be glamorous or exciting. It may rule out your other plans. But God says this is what we are to “first learn” before we seek to show our piety in other places.

Taking care of your aging parents, particularly your mother and grandmother, is what Paul calls repaying your parents, and he singles this action out as “good and acceptable before God.” Want to know how to please God? Take care of your aging mom. And Paul has this to say to those who don’t: “But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever” (vs. 8). This is serious stuff.

Are you wondering how to exercise charity, piety? Are you wondering what you should be doing? Here is the obvious place to start. I know that the widow herself can be uncooperative. But God can overcome obstacles by means of His grace. We ought to all be preparing for the time when we can repay our parents and provide a home for them. Then we can “learn” to show piety at home.