Double-think is when we get into a tailspin over-analyzing our motives and worrying over our possible sins or those we might commit or whether we did commit or not. Did I apologize thoroughly enough? Do I need to apologize for that? Or not?
Everyone can do this, but women can be more vulnerable, I think, because we are hungry for approval and can easily become insecure about how we are doing. We don’t like to be in trouble, and we like to color inside the lines. What if we accidentally got outside one of the lines? Is that okay? Is it legal to use the red crayon or is only blue allowed? Was I really sincere when I said that? Or was I faking? Am I in a bad mood?
Life is too short to double-think our motives and over-analyze how we are doing all the time. It’s a way of trying to do God’s job for Him, and we are not any good at it. The Holy Spirit deals with us when we sin, and He has perfect vision. He is not confused. Our aim is to be sensitive to Him. How? By being in the Word, by confessing the sins we know about as soon as we know about them, by deliberately trying to please God by walking by faith and rejoicing in His goodness and grace.
The irony is that flirts never worry about whether they are flirting or not. Insincere people don’t worry about whether they’re being sincere. Disobedient kids don’t worry about whether they’re disobeying. So we should let it rest. Double-thinking everything just wears us out and distracts us from our duties here and now.
Once my daughter was babysitting, and it was time to put the toys away and get the kids in bed. She told the young buster, who was probably four or five, to pick up the crayons. He took the empty crayon bucket and put it on his head and said, “I am the Chief End of Man. The Chief End of Man does not pick up crayons!”
Here are a few questions I got at a recent Bible study for teenage girls. And here are a few short answers.
1. What do you do if your (Christian) parents are having a conflict?
This is a tough spot for a daughter to be in. The first thing I would say is to pray for them. Pray that God will open their eyes and bring a peaceful resolution. Second, remember that this is their problem and not yours. When parents fight, not only do the kids feel awful, but they also feel responsible to help fix it. I’m not saying that God never uses daughters to help parents with their marriage issues, but it’s not likely. So, in your prayers, give the burden to God. Don’t carry it yourself. Third, be careful not to take sides unless everyone can see who is in the wrong. Be respectful to your parents, even to the parent who is being a stinker. Chances are always good that you’re only seeing half the story, if even that. If things are really bad, give your pastor a call and ask him for input on how you can be a good Continue reading ‘Q & A’
In our church community we have lots and lots of little kids, and we love it! God has blessed this place with kids of all ages, from babies in their buckets (you know, those car seat things) to toddlers and on up. We try to be considerate of their little frames as we worship and fellowship, and I am often in awe that our church service is so quiet with well over a hundred small children present. Hats off to all those parents who are loving and teaching and training their little kids to sit through the service (while the parents seldom get to hear an entire sermon uninterrupted).
Just a side note before I go any further. I have to tell you a funny story. A friend of ours who is a minister in Virginia recently told us about a little guy in his church who calls him Sermon. This comes from his parents saying, “Listen to the sermon.” So of course it follows that the preacher’s name must be Sermon (and Sermon wears a white robe at Sunday worship). Not long ago this little guy asked his big brother if Sermon was God. “No,” said the wiser older brother. “He’s not God. He just dresses like Him.”
But back on topic. At our worship service, we want to include the kids as much as possible, which means a lot of teaching has to go on at home on how to behave. There are no church-enforced rules for the kids, but there are plenty of family-enforced rules that I don’t know Continue reading ‘Kids and Church’
When I was in college, I became aware of just how unhappy I was. I saw no real reason to be unhappy: I was healthy, I had friends, I had parents who loved me, I had food enough and clothing and shelter. But I found that none of these things satisfied me. Life seemed futile and meaningless, and so it was.
I began asking others if they were happy, deep-down happy, but I always got the same negative response. Pretty much universal unhappiness out there in the world.
Now I can look back on that time knowing that happiness for creatures is impossible apart from a restored relationship with the Creator. Those apart from Christ will always try to find happiness in all the worst places. It is only found in Christ, and what a relief unspeakable it was for me to find that in Him!
But even Christians can sometimes find themselves unhappy, which is antithetical to our calling in Christ. Christians can sin and get bogged down and distracted. But we know the way back and the door is always Continue reading ‘Are you happy?’
When you are driving down the road, and you’re thinking of changing lanes, you have to do a head check, because if you don’t, bad things can happen. Your mirror won’t show a car if it is right smack in the middle of your blind spot.
In the same way, we all have personal blindspots. We think we see, but there is something very large and very near that we are completely missing. We’re on a collision course, and if we do not proceed with caution, we are going to get clobbered or we’re going to clobber someone else.
Some of our blindspots are those little quirky things that are not sinful. It gives our loved ones something to overlook (or even love) about us. But sometimes a blindspot is a snare that causes real trouble. And often we are guilty of the very same blindspot that annoys us in others. We get bothered when they move their car over without looking, but we are guilty of cutting off cars regularly ourselves, and we seldom notice it.
Let me give you some made-up examples of this kind of blindspot. You get annoyed when someone interrupts you, Continue reading ‘Communication Blindspots’
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