Women want to be led. Of course, we don’t always act like it. In fact, sometimes we resist it like crazy. But despite all this, God has created woman to be led by her husband, and He has created in the woman the desire for strong male leadership.
When a woman is married to a capable man with a keen sense of purpose and a heart obedient to God, she has immense possibilities for security and freedom in her submission to him. Under such loving influence, a Christian woman can thrive both spiritually and emotionally. As he serves God in his calling, she can provide incredible help and support to him. This is the ideal situation.
But what about the women who are married to men who are not interested in leading, who have neither drive nor direction? What can a woman in a marriage like that do?
I believe a woman who is stranded in such a marriage should turn to her duties. Just because he is failing at his duty to lead, does not mean she can make things better by failing at her own God-assigned duty to respect her husband.
Now this can be difficult. It is far easier to point out the failings of her husband than to focus on her own. But, as my husband is fond of saying, you can always make things worse. Let’s try instead to make things better. It makes no sense to join in on the disobeying.
So if a wife in a difficult marriage does her best to fulfill her obligations to God, she is guaranteeing that she will be blessed. God always blesses obedience, and He never blesses disobedience, whatever the justification for it. And when a woman rolls up her sleeves and gets to work on her own duties, she can find a great deal of joy and satisfaction in pleasing God.
One other side benefit to this, besides a clean conscience, is that obedience clears the vision. She may find she has more compassion for her husband. She may see that he has tried many times to show leadership and met with nothing but hindrances, discouragement and criticism. Some men just aren’t up to it. They know that whatever they try to do will only provoke an argument, and they just don’t think it’s worth it. And most men refuse to receive leadership training from their wives.
A man who is consistently respected, treated with courtesy and honor in his home, has far more inspiration to lead his family. He will rise to the occasion most of the time. But I believe many husbands are running on fumes when it comes to the respect they receive from their wives and children. If they had a tank full, their families might see something they’ve never seen before.