We women are easily distracted by our own needs. This is easy because, after all, they are ours. And I don’t know how many times I have heard women say that their husbands are not “meeting their needs.” In fact, I’m sure we could find women’s groups devoted to discussing how their husbands are not meeting their needs. I have no doubt there are blogs devoted to the subject.
The fact of the matter is that a man cannot meet the needs of a woman, because her needs far exceed the capacity of any man to fill. I think it was Walter Trobisch who said, “There’s not a man on earth who can satisfy the heart of a woman.” So women ought to find something more interesting to discuss. This is not anything new.
But the problem persists because women impose a tremendous burden on their husbands, and they naively expect some kind of arrangement where the husband is given to the wife to meet all her emotional, spiritual, physical, and intellectual needs (whatever all those needs are). What a grave disappointment to find out that her husband was not informed.
Now I am not saying that men do not meet any needs of their wives. Of course they do! But when women look to fallen men to give them purpose and meaning in life, they are looking in the wrong place. It is asking of a finite creature what only the Almighty can do. He created us with all these needs, and only He can really satisfy our soul’s desires. A husband is a source of tremendous comfort, strength, protection, love, and companionship. But our souls need supernatural comfort, strength, protection, love, and companionship. A mere man cannot even comprehend the needs of a woman. In fact, I don’t think women even understand their own hearts and needs.
If you consider the purpose of marriage at the beginning, God created woman because the man had needs. He needed a helper. Woman was created for the man. So as wives consider how they can meet their husbands’ needs for help, it’s funny how their own needs will be met. When we are doing what God has created and called us to do, we actually become what He created us to be. When we give ourselves away, we find ourselves; when we give, we receive; when we empty ourselves, we are filled.
God is the only one who can satisfy all our needs. If we lift the burden of expectation off the creature and place it on the Creator, we will not be disappointed. And our husbands will be mighty relieved.