Rachel and I were talking about this topic tonight, and here is our conclusion.
Immodesty is a temptation for women. Women need to resist the temptation to be immodest. They often think they are doing the male population a big service by not wearing that tight t-shirt, but the truth is, they want to wear it (and they want to talk about how they almost wore it but decided it would stumble the whole world if they did). Why? Because it will provoke envy among the women and provoke lust among the men. Women are tempted to be immodest, and they have to learn to resist the temptation themselves.
Modesty is not really about the guys, though I’m sure they appreciate it (some of them anyway). In fact, when you think about it, it really isn’t about them at all. Modesty is about the women. God wants us to be modest because it pleases Him and is good for our own souls.
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Excellent!
It is so sad that many women when they think of modesty/ immodesty issues, they often miss the point. We are to be modest because it has to do with being holy even as our Father who is in Heaven is holy. As you said, it is good for our souls, it is an issue of the heart.
Thank you.
Nancy,
So I’m about to have a little girl, and I’ve been thinking about this issue a lot recently. I agree with you that the temptation towards immodesty begins with women–but do you think all women are tempted in this way?
I was raised in an all-girl household, but I can honestly say that I never struggled with the desire to show off my body or incite my friends to jealousy with my “hotness.” I did, however, struggle with the opposite problem–actually wanting to dress like a girl so that I would look like one! My t-shirts were more likely to be 2 sizes too big and found in the men’s section, then to be too tight and hoochy.
I’m also a teacher, so I’ve been watching lots of little girls, and it definitely seems to be that from a young age some struggle with this more than others. Just curious as to your thoughts!
Thanks,
Brittany
I think “hotness” is an issue even for older women in the church. There is something about our culture, including those within the church, that seems to really drive women to desire to look like they haven’t had babies, to look “hot” and “young.” Now, I am certainly NOT saying we should look frumpy, unkept, sloppy, unlovely, etc. But this desire for “hotness” has me thinking a lot these days, and I myself am not immuned to it either.
I’m actually bringing it up here because I’m struggling with this right now. Asking myself: Do I want to lose weight? Why do I want to lose weight? Why do I want to wear that outfit? Is this how I should DESIRE to look?
I had a baby almost 5 weeks ago. I am now only 2-3 lbs over the weight that I was at right before I got pregnant. I realize that’s pretty good. And yet…. all these questions. I’m short and petite, I’m probably overweight. But that begs the question, what is overweight? Overweight in comparison to what? By what standard? Should that even be my standard?
Nancy, any thoughts, ideas, suggestions????
I really like the points you make: we all struggle with it, we are modest to please God, and it is good for our souls! The topic can easily get weighted down, and it’s always nice to see something cut and dry. 🙂 I also like not making it about the men. Would you also say that women tend to want to enable men? That it’s easy for us as we talk about modesty to get into the mentality that “the poor babies have no ability to use self-control; they’re just wittle ole goons who can’t help but drool . . .”? Though I think discussing men and their reactions is valid in searching out the “good for our souls” point, as a mother of sons I really don’t like the notion that they’re just animals (which I personally think is a part of evolutionist thinking). I remember your excellent post on modesty (three years ago?) and it was so helpful, and I read the book you recommended (which was great!). But I could always use hearing more about the topic.