Does the Bible shape your view of conjugal love, or have you let the world define for you what it calls “sex”? Conjugal love is married love, while sex is an enlightenment term, almost a mechanical term, for what any animal can do to propagate its kind. The Bible is famous for its list of sexual sins, but it is also the source of the definition of married love. So here are a few observations from what the Bible says (particularly from Song of Songs and Proverbs) about conjugal (a great word that we should use more often) love.
1. Married love is protected by a covenant; it is not a one-night fling or a two-month shack-up. It is for life.
2. It is a garden enclosed (Song of Songs 4:12), not a public park.
3. Married love is fair (4:10), not cheap.
4. It is delightful and pleasant (2:3-4), not striving for the high-octane kick.
5. Married love is a feast in a banqueting house (2:3-4), not scraps from the dumpster.
6. Conjugal love is a time of mutual rejoicing (Proverbs 5:18-19) and gladness, not a charade.
7. Married love is intoxicating, better than wine (Prov. 5:18-19; Song of Songs 1:12, 4:10), not Sprite.
8. It is satisfying and sweet (Prov. 5:18-19), not bitter, full of regret, or guilty.
9. Conjugal love is fruitful; it is compared to a garden (Song of Songs 4:16), not a carnival.
10. Conjugal love is loving; it is not raw, context-less sex.
Let the Bible shape your thinking on conjugal love, as in everything, whether you are married or not. “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God” (Rom. 12:2).
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Thank you so much for writing this.
Thank you!
Excellent post! If someone could to it tastefully, I think this could be turned into a plaque. Great reminders in a culture that thinks so wrongly about “sex”. Thanks for helping us to think rightly!
Yes, yes, yes! And thank you for reclaiming the wonderful phrase conjugal love. It is accurate, rich, modest and meaningful in its description.
I am working on rewriting a piece (http://bronlea.wordpress.com/2012/01/10/a-moms-momentary-insight-on-god-and-sex/) and would love to link this article as a reference. Would that be ok?
Amen, sister!
If a couple marries knowing that at least one of them is incapable of bearing children, does that make conjugal love fruitless?
Anon –
Just a thought, obviously not from the Femina girls, but I do not think that the only definition of “fruitful,” Biblically speaking, is the production of children. If that were the case, then we would all cease to be “fruitful” (conjugally speaking) at the point in our life that we are unable to bear children. I believe that we, as followers of Christ, can be fruitful in so many ways (see the fruit of the spirit for many examples!). This is true of conjugal love. There are many fruits that come out of the giving and receiving love in a marriage that don’t include the production of children.
That was my long answer…
So, my short answer to your question would be, “no.” 🙂