I may as well plug a book I’m reading, even though I haven’t finished it. It’s not a Christian book, but it is a surprisingly wise book, and you’ve probably heard of it: Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, by John Gray. Of course, coming from a secular writer, there will be things you dismiss as you go. But despite that, I have learned quite a bit.

Doug and I have taught on the differences between men and women for years, but this book really takes it to another level. He pushes things into the corners, explaining in very practical and helpful ways how men and women think differently. And of course if we understand the differences, we can get along much better. As Christians, we have God’s Word and grace and Spirit to help us. So if we can learn some more common sense to boot, we have a tremendous advantage in understanding one another. Read More

One of the things I appreciate about the Scriptures’ requirement for wives to submit to their husbands is the wording of the command. “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord” (Col. 3:18; Eph. 5:22).; “and the wife see that she reverence her husband” (Eph. 5:33).

In these verses, the duty is given to the wives to see that they are doing this submission/reverence thing. It is not given to the husband to see that the wife is being submissive. And the other thing I must mention is that wives are to submit to their own husbands, not anyone else’s. In other words, this is a duty rendered strictly from wife to husband, not women to men, and it is a duty a wife is to oversee herself.

Often, and sadly, my husband and I have noticed that the men who are “into” authority and submission, are often themselves the most unsubmissive members of the church. They claim to understand submission when it comes to those who are under their authority (their wives, children, or employees), but they fail to submit themselves to the authority of the elders or the civil authorities. If the elders make a decision, these are the men who refuse to comply. They are the men who make a stink. But woe to their own wives or children if they disagree with dad. Read More

When my husband was in the military, he got a good understanding of authority. His commanding officers were to be saluted and yes-sir-ed , not because they were better at chess or got higher SAT scores, but because they were wearing the uniform with all the stars on the shoulders. They bore the responsibility and assumed authority. And if the man wearing the uniform was a very bad man, my husband would salute the uniform for what it stood for, not the man wearing it.

When God gives husbands the authority in a marriage, He also gives them the responsibility that goes with it. Wives are to submit to their husbands and treat them with respect out of reverence to God, not because husbands have higher IQ’s or bigger wing spans.

In a similar way, when God says the husband is the head of the wife, this is not because a Read More

Is it appropriate for a woman to “brag” about her husband? Children? Grandchildren? Well, it all depends. If the motive is to impress people, or if it springs from pride, arrogance, or a sense of competition, then we ought to keep our mouths shut. But if it is a way to honor your husband or your children in a public way, in a manner that would bless them, I think it can be edifying for everyone.

The bottom line always seems to be wisdom. Who is hearing the comments? What is the context? When I was first married and attending my first Bible study for married women, I was very surprised by the unkind comments made by wives about their husbands. I didn’t want to say anything about my own wonderful husband for fear of making them all feel bad that they got such crummy ones. Later I began to catch on to what was happening, and I decided that I should feel free to be positive about my husband unless the situation was a touchy one. Read More