I’ve heard that women like to talk to relieve stress, and I believe it. It just makes us feel better to talk things over, and we often figure out what we think by talking. Men, on the other hand, usually know what they think before they start talking. So, we sometimes need a listening ear to figure out what it is we think and feel and know. Although there is nothing wrong with this when it is used wisely, it can be dangerous when we are not guarding our lips.
This is probably why women sometimes badmouth their husbands. They are working through a trouble, and in order to do so, they have to spill the beans on what the trouble is, and in this case, it is a husband. The problem is that spilling the beans to a girlfriend can actually be disloyalty to your husband. You may just be working things out, so you share lots of details about the argument you had and how insensitive and unkind he was, and then you feel better, go home and forgive him, and press on from there, never looking back. But the girlfriend remembers that stupid thing your husband did or said every time she sees him, and she thinks to herself, “There’s that jerk of a husband.” And after some Read More
“This murmuring and discontentedness of yours reveals much corruption in the soul. As contentment argues much grace, and strong grace, and beautiful grace, so murmuring argues much corruption, and strong corruption, and very vile corruptions in our heart.” –A little more from Burroughs, The Rare Jewel
“Carnal men and women do not know their own spirits, and therefore they fling and vex themselves at every affliction that befalls them, they do not know what disorders are in their hearts which may be healed by their afflictions, if it pleases God to give them a sanctified use of them.”Â Jeremiah Burroughs, The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment
I know I’ve jumped up and down on this many times before in many contexts, but it is still true: marry a man you respect. It is easy to fall in love. That presents no difficulties at all. But wait. What kind of man is this? Are you sure you look up to him, admire him, appreciate him and feel confident you could follow him without wanting to grab the reins away from him?Â Not just any man is respectable, and no woman wants to find out the hard way, but many do. Falling in love is not all that is necessary, though it is nice. And by all means, fall in love with the man you marry. But respect him first.
My husband uses an illustration in teaching on childrearing that can help parents keep a perspective on what it is they are doing day in and day out. And here it is. When you love your child by giving them attention and love in many and varied forms, it is like putting money in their bank accounts. Whether it is singing to and with them, playing those silly games, making eye contact when they talk to you, caring for them, feeding them, and bestowing good things on them, all these things are deposits. As they get older, it may mean listening, shopping, helping, driving, being at their games, helping drill them for tests, or hosting the parties at your house. By Read More