When my husband was in the military, he got a good understanding of authority. His commanding officers were to be saluted and yes-sir-ed , not because they were better at chess or got higher SAT scores, but because they were wearing the uniform with all the stars on the shoulders. They bore the responsibility and assumed authority. And if the man wearing the uniform was a very bad man, my husband would salute the uniform for what it stood for, not the man wearing it.
When God gives husbands the authority in a marriage, He also gives them the responsibility that goes with it. Wives are to submit to their husbands and treat them with respect out of reverence to God, not because husbands have higher IQ’s or bigger wing spans.
In a similar way, when God says the husband is the head of the wife, this is not because a head is better than a body and the husband gets the better job because God just likes the men more than He likes the women. Look at your body. Where would it be without the head? Where would the head be without the body? One completes the other. Now the body needs to get direction from the head. It’s a creation design, it’s not a power trip. When the body launches out on its own, without the head, we have spastic motion. This is because the links between the brain and the body are damaged or diseased, so the resulting motion is jerky and abrupt. When a wife refuses to be submissive to her husband, the link between head and body are disabled and the marriage is handicapped.
A woman should respect a man before she marries him because she wants to feel completely confident that he will lead the marriage with wisdom and humility, relying on the Lord. She can respect him for his spiritual strength and character, even if she can beat him at tennis or scrabble. But at the same time, if she feels she would be the better leader of the two, for whatever reason, then she ought to think twice before marrying him. The jobs are not up for grabs. God has already assigned them.