This is not marriage advice, but a little piece of wedding advice that I sometimes tell the bride when I get the chance. As you walk down the aisle, fasten your eyes on that groom of yours. He’s waiting for you. Don’t be distracted by all the guests and think you need to make eye contact with all of them as you walk down the aisle on your dad’s arm. One exception is your mom who will be watching as well. Give her a loving smile. There’s an old hymn (I’ve forgotten the name) that has this line: “The bride eyes not her garment, but her dear bridegroom’s face.” That’s the idea.
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“The Sands of Time Are Sinking”
My pastor says to brides; “there are two kinds of weddings — perfect weddings and fun weddings. Let’s have a fun wedding.”
Suzanne — AMEN! Even when I was in that “bride” stage of life, I could never understand the appeal of the whole “spectacle” mentality. For me, the idea was to 1) accomplish the marriage and 2) make it a time pleasing to God and enjoyable to one’s guests (and yes, they’re GUESTS, not spectators) 3) without making myself or anyone else broke or miserable in the process. Now that I’m heading toward the mother of the bride stage of life (within 10 years, almost certainly) the overwrought attitude toward modern weddings only boggles my mind all the more.
BTW, for me, that has always tacitly included a “no children under 5 (or maybe 4 if they’re particularly well-behaved and capable) in the wedding party” rule. I may have to fight my kids on this one when their time comes, and may lose, but for my own wedding, it was ironclad (and my husband agreed. Since we weren’t close to any children of appropriate age, we didn’t have any in the wedding.) Children are more than welcome in my life and were at my wedding, but playing a role in the ceremony is a responsibility, to be fulfilled with reverence, not an opportunity to be a cute distraction.
I was so nervous he was the only one I could look at! At a wedding, I don’t turn with everyone and look at the bride as soon as she appears, but watch the Groom’s reaction when he sees his bride for the first time. It is priceless. I’m pretty sure there was something about that in a cheesy chick flick, but it is fun nonetheless.
a very sweet piece of advice…. and one i’ll pass along to my own daughters when they have their special day♥
Very sweet! I recall keeping my eyes on my groom with what I’m sure was the widest of smiles–all the while listening to my Dad say sweet and silly dad-things to me as he walked me down the aisle. Those last few moments with dad were simply lovely.
Oh no, I did badly on this account. I was so excited that it was finally happening…and when I’m excited, I am horribly distractable. Add to that a giant white dress and 500 people…maybe I should have made some sort of pretty white blinders or something. 🙂
That’s one of my favorite hymns!
I love this, Nancy.
Perhaps this is the flip side of the coin: as a pianist who has played for many weddings, I often get a chance to steal a peek at the *groom’s* face while the bride is processing down the aisle. (It’s almost impossible to see the bride with the standing guests).
I have always believed that this would be a fabulous shot for an ancillary photographer.
Those groom’s faces shine with delight. Some have a smile so large it practically falls off their face. Others are in that category of sober joy, a bit awestruck at the sight of the bride.
The Sands of Time are Sinking is a favorite hymn of mine.
I say look at both the guests AND your man!
I could not even SEE my man till I was half-way up the aisle — too many cameras and people in front of me! I treasured being able to look into the eyes of my guests who had walked this journey with me and been an encouragement and help and strength to me as I waited on God to lead my man and I together. I treasured sharing the joy with them.
But wow, when the path finally cleared and I looked up at my husband-to-be — there was no way I could drag my gaze from him after that!
Both memories are very special to me, and I treasure both.