Well, goodness gracious! I step out of town for the merest moment . . . out of range of the internet for only a tiny slice of time . . . and when I check back in, I find a full scale kerfluffle in progress! And I missed the whole thing! At least, people still seem to be fairly well riled up . . . but I missed the moment where I can actually spit on my hands and join the discussion. To do so now would inevitably be that awkward thing that happens to you sometimes in groups . . . you know, you say something loudly right at the moment when everyone else has quieted down. Never fails to be embarrassing.
So rather than say what Mom and Rachel have already so admirably said, (aside: Well jobbed, Mom and Rachel!) I am merely going to comment in passing that I went on a float down the river in Boise while you were all having this amiable discussion, and I was noticing what a terrible pack of ugliness was also floating down the river with us. I actually started counting to see what percentage of people didn’t sport some yuck-a-duck piece of artwork on them somewhere or had stuck themselves full of unsightly plugs. My guess is that it was only about 10% untainted on the river that day. I was inwardly cheering for the people who had managed one way or the other to reach the ripe old age of 25 without committing a rash piece of indiscretion that is forever going to date them in a most unflattering way. It’s like somehow chaining yourself forever to the music of the Bangles or something. Very hard to recover from that. I mean, you can totally guess someone’s era and which high school reunion they’re going to be attending next based on their tattoos / piercings. Have you ever tried that? Loads of fun when you’re stuck waiting in the car for someone at the mall, or conversely, floating down a river in Boise. There’s the early nineties ankle tattoos . . . then that got a bit old and totally overdone and not nearly edgy enough anymore . . . so forward thinking ladies moved it to the shoulder blade. That seems to have been when hearts, flowers, and palm trees were the done thing. Then when the midriff shirts got to be darned near mandatory and waistbands dropped to dizzying lows, everyone tore into the eastern symbol lower back tat and the belly button rings like there was no tomorrow. Then there are the poor unfortunate souls who kept right on going and now have a selection of styles to choose from. They’re kind of like the people who decorate their houses with new trends without ever cleaning out the old . . . so they have the dried flower swag and toll painted goose over the golden oak bookcase of the eighties . . . and a clawfoot mahogany coffee table of the nineties . . . and a pottery barn apothecary chest of this decade.
Oh shoot. Did I let my opinion slip out? Embarrassing . . .