The modern woman thinks she knows what a man wants because if you spend any time in the check-out lane at a grocery store, you are bombarded with the message that all a man really wants is a woman with an incredible body. But if that’s really the case, then why do so many of the marriages of super-bodies fall apart?
The truth is that men want a lot of things that never get mentioned on the cover of Cosmo. They want respect. They want companionship. They want a hot meal and a happy wife. They want mutual due benevolence. The bottom line is, what ever else they may want, they want peace and comfort in their homes.
How do I know this? Consider all the descriptions of the miserable husband in Proverbs. In every case, he is driven from his home to the roof or the desert because of a mouthy, complaining, unhappy woman.
So what am I saying? Look at it this way. What would most husbands want: a wife who is feeling overweight and in the dumps, or a wife who is feeling overweight and cheerful? A wife who is crying about the pay check not going far enough, or a frugal wife who is rejoicing in the hard times? A wife who is strung out and angry because of homeschooling a bunch of unruly kids all day, or a wife who is tired but can’t wait to tell her husband all the funny things that happened today?
So it’s no good trying to prioritize all the things your husband wants. Maybe he does want a tidy house and a hot meal and some affection when he gets home. Nothing wrong with that. But none of those things matter if the home is full of strife and sorrow and misery. Cheerfulness never makes things worse and always makes it better.
I’m not saying a wife should pretend to be happy and put on a fakey smile for her husband. Of course not. We should find peace and comfort and joy in Christ, and every Christian woman has access to those generous resources. Then, and only then, can we make our homes full of peace and comfort. In fact, we can’t help it. If we have it overflowing in our own hearts, it can’t help but slosh over.
So when it comes to deciding what our priorities are in the home, consider cheerfulness at the top. Establish peace. Extend comfort. That’s what makes home a desirable destination.
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Thank you! I do try to be cheerful, but it’s especially good to be reminded that being cheerful is a way of dealing with bad/stressful/confusing times instead of pretending they don’t exist. It’s been a slow process trying to master my emotions, but it would have been slower without your encouraging words 🙂
“If we have it overflowing in our own hearts, it can’t help but slosh over.”
Thank you for your wise words.
“Cheerfulness never makes things worse and always makes it better.”
Love it. Being cheerful can be hard (don’t I just love to cling to a bad mood!) but it’s so true.
This reminds me of what I am always telling my girls. No matter how many pretty dresses you have or curls, it is the beauty in your heart that really matters. Thanks for the reminder for me today.
Ooooh good words! I’m going to have to read this one over again tomorrow 🙂 thank you.
ooh thank you for your wise words. I feel like this text was written to me. I was needing it. Thank you
Thank you so much for the blog post in reference to having a cheerful heart. It’s so true that the state of the heart reflects into the home. Even though I’m unmarried, in my thirties, and living overseas, I found wise words reminding me to carry a happy heart in my own apartment. Single or married, we all live with others close to us, and this post reminded me to care for roommates with love, Christ love.
Amen!
We are on the verge of a move which is always stressfull and exhausting…….I was just this afternoon trying to prep my heart to be calm and cheerful and pleasant for my husband and kids. And then I popped over to femina for a little catch up and read this. Such perfect timing!
Thank you
“Cheerfulness never makes things worse and always makes it better.”
Amen to that!
When I first became at SAHM, I noticed I had the habit of “unloading” on my poor husband the minute he walked in the door. Then, I would get frustrated that he didn’t respond in a talkative and supportive way I was craving.
I eventually learned to look to other moms (and myself) for the talkative response I wanted (my husband will never be a man of many words and it’s unfair to expect him to be), and to WAIT until after dinner to expect meaningful conversation.
Now I laugh to myself when I see him walk in the door, happy to be home but tired and in need of refreshment of food and family….to think how I “unloaded” on him seems illogical and immature. I’m glad I learned my lesson, though I admit it took plenty of time and tears to get to a better place for both of us. (I still get frustrated by my man of few words, just as I’m sure he gets frustrated by his wife of many words!)
“The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands” book is a fun read filled with common grace insights. I think it would make you smile and nod! 🙂
Just read this today and was such an encouragement. Am having a hard time trusting God and my husband because we are going through such hard times financially. I am just so depressed today; but this reminded me that although I am feeling fat today 🙂 I do have dinner ready and what my husband needs when he comes home is the smile and kiss to go with the dinner–not me complaining about us running out of savings and having no place to live…so I guess you got to hear it. Anyway would really appreciate (and really need) more encouragement like this so keep it coming please! Thank you and I will try to keep smiling and praying!
I love this post! Cheerfulness makes a world of difference.
I would love to share it with my blog followers. Do you mind linking it up (along with whatever other pages you think my readers would love) to my monthly inspirational Linky-party that I’m just setting up? That would be peachy!
Kat,
Of course you are free to link up to any of the articles on the blog. And, as one very kind reader mentioned to me off line, we need to get ourselves more technified so you can do it a little easier.
Blessings,
Nancy