Lots of space on this blog has been devoted to the subject of mothering , so I thought I would write a little something to the daughters, particularly daughters who are still living at home, who might be reading.
The problem of writing to daughters about their duties toward their mothers is that the mothers might read this and become critical or discontent. This article is not for the mothers to rub their daughters’ collective noses in. In other words, this is a word of encouragement to daughters, not a set up to stumble moms. Given that little word of caution, here are a few suggestions to daughters.
First of all, the obvious: Remember that your mother is a lot like you. Not only is she a woman, like you are, she is also a daughter. So take note of how she treats or speaks of or remembers her own mother. Remember, it’s not just your mom speaking; it’s another daughter speaking to you about her mom. Sometimes we let position (mother, daughter) or age difference create distance between us. But the mother-daughter relationship is one of the closest, so we should do all we can to keep it healthy and strong.
Mom is your role model, so pay attention. What does she do well? Imitate her. Ask her to show you how. You both have lots to learn, but she has had more time to learn some things. She is the one designated by God to teach you how to be a faithful woman, so be an eager learner.
But what if she isn’t a Christian? She still has things to teach you. Don’t feel superior. Be humble.
Be quick to listen to your mother. Ask for her advice and value her opinion. And if you are still young and in her home, be quick to obey her.
Speak respectfully to your mom. Don’t interrupt or argue or roll your eyes. Treat her with deference and courtesy. She is your mom after all!
How is your mom doing? Have you asked her lately? Don’t take her for granted.
Pray for your mom. Who else prays for your mother? Be constant in your prayers for her, always giving thanks to God for your mom.
It’s easy to find faults with everyone, including your mother. But rather than picking at her faults, show your gratitude instead. Thank God for her strengths, talents, and the work she does for you.
Don’t compete with your mom. Some girls do.
Be loyal. Don’t share your mom’s failures with your friends. Guard her name and protect her reputation. Be quick to extend forgiveness when she sins against you.
Be thoughtful. Does she need a little encouragement? A little help? Be the kind of daughter who sees it and be quick to help out.
Don’t wait until Mothers’ Day to express your love and appreciation. It’s always welcome.
Keep Mom in the loop, so she knows what’s going on with you and how you are doing. Don’t make her ask you a thousand questions to find out how you’re doing. Offer information and don’t keep things (important things) from her.
If your mom is not the kind of woman you should imitate, you can still pray for her, forgive her, and be a faithful daughter. God may use you to bring about change.
Remember that your mom’s problems are not yours to solve, but they are yours to pray for. At the same time, when you pray, ask God if you are any part of the problem. If you are, your repentance will be a help toward a solution.