It’s pretty clear by the truckloads of articles and books that keep showing up that more and more women who bought into the feminist “dream” are now taking it all back, acknowledging that it was a big flop. And, of course, they are complaining now that they are either approaching or are in their forties, that their big careers are not fulfilling, that all they really want is a husband and children, that time is running out, and that all the attractive men are going for the younger women.
The women’s movement has always been a complaining movement. Back in the heyday, they were complaining about having to stay home with the kids while the men got all the fun jobs. They complained so much and so loudly that the men held the door while women walked into the work force in mass. Then they complained that they didn’t get promoted as much or as quickly as the men, that the men didn’t do their share of the housework, that day care was too expensive. And they became competitive, not only with the men, but with the other women, fighting for the same jobs.
They complained that women are no different from men and rejected feminine virtue,modesty, virginity, and loyalty. So we got the “free love” movement of the sixties and women started sleeping around the way they thought the men had been all along. And then they complained about getting pregnant and burdened with unwanted children, so our high court gave them abortion. And they partied on, rejecting monogamy and marriage and motherhood.
All stupid ideas finally collapse under the weight of their own idiocy and that is what is happening with feminism. Today women are loudly complaining that they feel cheated. They had the opportunity to become wives and mothers, but put it on the back burner while they pursued their careers. Now they are sick and tired of it all and realizing they are all alone. After embracing abortion, many paid the big bucks to sperm donors so they could have a baby (“experience” motherhood). And then they found more to complain about as single moms. There’s no one else to help raise the baby, child care is expensive, and all the other parents in the PTA are married.
Complaining is always the result of discontent. “Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.” What’s inside comes out undisguised. Discontent is the unhappy consequence of indulging envy and ingratitude. And it is no wonder that God sometimes just lets us have what we are whining for, as He clearly has in the case of feminism. But discontent is never satisfied when it gets what it wants; it wants more, something else.
So many women are discontent that it is now being called the feminist backlash. What a surprise. But if returning to the home is just another means of women trying to find satisfaction apart from Christ, then the whole cycle will just start over again.
The story of feminism in our country is a parable, rich with spiritual lessons. And as far as Christian women have bought into any part of it, there is still time to repent. Our country is ripening to receive the gospel, and the more miserable it becomes, the more open it will be to hear the good news.
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I didn’t realize this about the feminist movement. Do you have any book references concerning the women who are admitting to the “big flop? that is feminism?
There’s a very interesting article in the March Atlantic Monthly called, “Marry Him” by Lori Gottlieb, a woman who was artificially inseminated by donor sperm so she could live the dream. Here’s an amazing quote from the article: “Of course, we’d be loath to admit it in this day and age, but ask any soul-baring 40-year-old single heterosexual woman what she most longs for in life, and she probably won’t tell you it’s a better career or a smaller waistline or a bigger apartment. Most likely, she’ll say that what she really wants is a husband (and, by extension, a child).”
I recently read Tripping the Prom Queen (and I’m sorry I forgot the author’s name) which is about the vicious competition and back biting that goes on among women in and out of the working world. The author keeps wondering why we can’t all just be sisters. And there is lots more out there.
Nancy, I really appreciate you writing on this issue. I, in my immaturity often feel angereed by feminism but still want to understand why these women are so hardened into these types of ladies. I have struggled to see what the roots of these issues where really made of. Your wisdom in this is eye opening for me. I would love to hear more wisdom into these, and surrounding, issues.
Thank you, I was in need of this wise insight.
“Of course, we’d be loath to admit it in this day and age, but ask any soul-baring 40-year-old single heterosexual woman what she most longs for in life, and she probably won’t tell you it’s a better career or a smaller waistline or a bigger apartment. Most likely, she’ll say that what she really wants is a husband (and, by extension, a child).â€
Some days I think the world understands me better than the church does….
But, Valerie, from what I can tell about you from a distance is that you have not sold out to the feminist movement, postponing marriage until you got your career up and going. There’s a vast difference between waiting, praying, trusting, and asking God to bring a husband along, and what this article is describing. The author wonders if a woman should just “settle” for someone rather than be single. And though I agree that women shouldn’t be so picky on the secondary things, some things are non-negotiable. And the Christian woman knows that her life is in God’s hands, start to finish.
Well, not so much the feminist part as the wanting a husband and children part. Sometimes the church seems to think that desire is strange and unusual and perhaps even wrong, because of course I should be perfectly delighted to have “the gift of singleness.” Not being “loath to admit it” is tantamount to sinful discontentedness. If even a feminist worldling has an inkling that protracted singleness is truly and legitimately painful, one would wish that the church had a little more understanding and compassion. I’m veering dangerously close to whining, so I’d better add that I know there are those who do get it, and I am grateful for them. And even more so, I know that God has compassion, so I can trust Him in the midst of His hard providence.
The thing you want is a theology of affliction. I’ve been thinking of posting something on this because of another question. But all kinds of suffering, including loneliness, are addressed in God’s Word.
Thank God the Church finally has a response to feminism. I think the Church has been cowed by it for a very long time. The result of the lack of a robust response is confusion all around. I know that I (as a product of public schooling and pietisitic training) spent alot of years being very confused about the role of women. But God is faithful always. It is good to be in the light and contented looking back and seeing God’s hand in it all. Keep on blogging, Nancy!
Mrs. Wilson, you are one of those who gets it, and I’m grateful for that.
I think part of the theology of affliction I need is to grasp that when even friends with the best of intentions misunderstand one’s suffering, that is part of the suffering. Like the rest of it, it doesn’t seem pleasant at the time, but in the end yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness.
Hi Nancy!
Glad you’re back. I agree that we need to understand the theology of affliction in many areas of our personal lives as well as our church life. I always appreciate your cogent quotes from the Puritans–very applicable and helpful.
Thanks!
Judy
Contentment is an issue of the heart. And my heart is with me whether I am married, single, widowed, with children or without. Marriage and children have not in any way ‘solved’ the deeper issues that I struggled with when I was single.
In other words – ‘getting what we want’ doesn’t necessarily lead to growth!
Oh man, that was wonderfully written! Amen.
Valerie, It is sad when the church misidentifies your situation as a”gift of singleness”. Debbie Maken talks about the Church’s promotion of the “gift of singleness” and its misapplication in her book “Getting Serious About Getting Married”. Very few people have this gift. If one has the desire to be married, then God has not given them the “gift” of singleness.
Lacking the truth of God’s plan for companionship through marriage – it is not good for man to be alone- which is a reflection on the failure of the Church, Christians have succumbed to the world’s gospel of selfishness. This has left things short especially on the male side of the equation.
You have been in my prayers. We can all help people meet others that they wouldn’t have been able to meet otherwise and to help alleviate their suffering. I’ll be on the lookout in this neck of the woods.
This is a great post! I love the picture of feminism being a parable of God giving us what we’re complaining about. It’s definitely, in our country, followed Romans 1 pretty clearly.
What I’m wondering is how I respond to my mother-in-law (THE archtypical feminist) and her friends who now re-define feminism to be that “women should be able to do whatever they want.” She has no problem with my desire to be home with the kids, because women should do what they want. She has no problem with a woman president (and actively campaigns for it) because women should do what they want. How do we Biblically deal with a feminism that keeps crawling around the table every time we take a stab at it?
Brittany —
How do we deal with a feminism that keeps crawling around the table? By staying put and proclaiming the unchanging, unmoving truth of God’s Word concerning all things, including women and their roles in family and society, in which there is much freedom and flexibility for all kinds of life situations, but not endless freedom to do whatever we want.
Newt
Thank you for the references, Mrs. Wilson. I took a look into Tripping the Prom Queen on Amazon and I can’t wait to read it!
A very insightful post, and helpful for me in that you reminded me of the heart of the issue: a complaining attitude, the opposite of being thankful.
As someone has already mentioned, this modern-day parable is a fleshing out of Romans 1, where God gave them over to their sinful desires because “they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him.”
Complaining, a non-thankful attitude, is something I am certainly susceptible to, and reminders like this one of what that leads to help me be more vigilant in nipping that in the bud.
Thanks, Mrs. Wilson.
Valerie, I hope you see this comment. I’m a bit late in the game here, been busy with a sick baby.
Can I just say that all I know of you is from your comments here and on Blog and Mablog. You seem to be a kind and gracious woman. Although I have perceived a background sadness sometimes of your single state, I have never gotten the picture of a bitter and complaining woman. Believe it or not, sometimes the Lord has brought you to my mind.
Please don’t think it flippant of me to say to you “seek the Lord’s peace.” Jesus says “… My peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” Please know that although you bear the cross of singleness, and it is a cross sometimes; know that others bear other crosses, that sometimes helps to alleviate the pain. I can’t say I understand about your singleness, because I don’t, but I understand deep pain. And I can pray.
Your sister in Christ,
Luma
Jen, a few Sundays ago one of my elders was giving an exhortation at the beginning of the service, and I don’t remember a thing he said except that he quoted the last bit of Luke 6:35: “For He is kind to the unthankful and evil.” Since I’d been clobbered by that Romans 1 in various contexts over the few weeks prior, that was probably the only thing I needed to hear that morning!
Luma, thank you for your very kind comment and for your prayers and encouragement. You don’t sound the least bit flippant to me! Hope your little one is feeling better!
Wow, I love this! I wish I would have read it just a day sooner. 🙁 I just posted this on my own blog because I thought it needed to be addressed and couldn’t find any other posts on feminism: http://paxpuero.wordpress.com/2013/10/10/feminism-you-thought-the-proverbs-31-woman-was-hard-to-live-up-to/.
It’s so sad that we are pressured to give up our childbearing years to a career. I would much rather have a lifetime of my husband and children than a lifetime of money.
Thank you for this, it is very encouraging to young adults with feminism being thrown in our face at every turn.