Focus on the Family has a little magazine they publish, and the May edition has a very good article called, “Emotional Affairs, When friendship crosses the line.” I have to say it is right on. Dr. Debby L. Cherry lists ten warning signs that your friendship may have crossed the line.Â Here are a few: Do your conversations with your friend include things that should be kept between you and your spouse? Do you look for excuses to see or talk to your friend? Do you share thoughts, feelings and problems with your friend instead of your spouse? Do you look for “legal” ways to touch your friend (brush lint off his jacket, help her with her coat)?
She also lists eight safeguards to help protect your marriage. I heartily amen them all, but #7 really sums it up: Set boundaries about how you will interact with the opposite sex. For instance, you and your spouse may decide that neither of you will be alone with someone of the opposite sex, even for business lunches or late nights at work.Â
I only wish she had stated that a little stronger! I would change the may to should. If you can find a copy of this, it is well worth reading.
3 thoughts on “Preach it!”
Wise words indeed! Looking forward to reading the article! Exclaiming “Preach it!” with you, Nancy!
I am wondering how this may apply to single women, especially those who happen to have a lot of chummy “guy friends”? How can us single women serve and love our brothers in Christ and also prepare for this kind of loyalty/faithfulness to one husband the Lord may grant us one day?
It applies very much to single women. It means that you would be wise to keep a professional distance from male co-workers who are married, i.e. not going to lunch or coffee one-on-one, etc. And it also means not becoming too emotionally dependent on a single brother who may become someone else’s husband and not yours, which is just another way of saying guard your heart.
So having chummy guy friends is great as long as you are being wise. I think “serving and loving” are great in principle, but it all depends on what you mean. In other words, don’t disguise flirting with serving and loving.