Sons are supposed to grow up to be strong. Consider Proverbs 20:29, The glory of young men is their strength. They know instinctively from a very early age that they want to be strong and fast and big. This is their glory. They are to be like plants grown up in their youth (Ps. 144:12), maturing early, strong,Â sturdy, and wise. The father of the righteous shall greatly rejoice: and he that begetteth a wise child shall have joy of him: thy father and thy mother shall be glad, and she that bare thee shall rejoice (Prov. 23:24-25).
But some sons are not strong. They are heavy, a sad burden to their parents, bringing shame. A wise son makes a glad father; but a foolish son is the heaviness of his mother (Prov. 10:1). Children who grow up to be wise adults are an incomparable blessing and joy to their parents, and the older they get, the greater the blessing. But, as the proverb says, a foolish son brings shame and reproach (19:26; 29:15) to both parents, particularly to his mother. It is a sad truth that many mothers have heavy hearts over the behavior of their sons.
The fact of the heavy heart is substantiated by Scripture. Having a heavy heart is not a sin or the result of a lack of faith. But we can’t just sit there with a heavy heart. We have to do something with it, and Jesus told us what to do: we are to cast our cares on Him. So that is where heavy-hearted mothers should go first. We do the casting, He will do the bearing.
Remember that as long as your son lives, you can continue to intercede for him, praying that God will do whatever it takes to make your son wise.Â Be comforted, knowing that God has rescued many sinners from hard circumstances, and that He hears your prayers.
Meantime, look for ways to respect your wayward son. Find things (any thing) that you can appreciate and commend him for and then express it to him. If you have no contact with him, pray for God to change that. Be ready. And think about the prodigal son and his father. How kind of the Lord Jesus to include that story in the Gospels. That father was ready. He had the freezer full of prime rib just in case his son returned. He had the band ready at a moment’s notice. So when you start to feel blue or discouraged about your son’s (or daughter’s for that matter) behavior and status, commit him to God again, and start a little party-planning by faith. Expect great things of God, and be patient for His perfect time.
5 thoughts on “Heavy Sons”
Oh my! That is so encouraging. Very nicely said. Very understanding.
Thank you for a very timely and encouraging post! I don’t find many posts on sons and I needed it today, you have blessed me.
“Having a heavy heart is not a sin or the result of a lack of faith. But we canâ€™t just sit there with a heavy heart. We have to do something with it, and Jesus told us what to do: we are to cast our cares on Him. So that is where heavy-hearted mothers should go first. We do the casting, He will do the bearing.”
I love you, Nancy! Thank you for the comfort you speak through the wisdom Christ has given you.
Thank you for these words of encouragement. I am amazed at the pervasiveness of this issue as I go through Proverbs each month. I am one of the heavy-hearted mothers, with two heavy sons(God is giving me much more hope as I observe the 3rd son mature). I have spent countless wasted hours anguishing over what we could/should have done differently…thank you for pointing out the process-I do the casting, and He does the bearing. Surely I know this intellectually, but I don’t always remember it and put it into practice emotionally.
God bless you, Nancy, for your wisdom.
Thank you for a word in season.