Note:Â This isÂ part of a chapter for a bookÂ for unmarried women, so they are singled out in this article, but not because married women don’t have the same kinds of problems. The point I am making here is that unmarried women have the opportunity to get a lot of things straightened out before they are married. No time like the present. And no, I am not in any way suggesting that marriage is a reward for holiness. If that were the case, no one would be married.Â
I mentioned earlier that when women worry, it is as though they are taking ugly pills. All sin of every kind destroys us, but some sin really can make us visibly unattractive. Anxiety and bitterness are like that. A peaceful woman, with a gentle and quiet spirit, is beautiful, but a woman with a disrupted spirit gets uglier and uglier.It is very popular today to have “issues,” to be depressed, or to come from a “dysfunctional” family. This is actually hip and cool. But sin in all forms is ugly, ugly, ugly. Real troubles have real biblical solutions (though some may be very difficult), but some women find security in having hang-ups and troubles. It gives them a story, provides an identity for them. But we should find our identity in Christ. He has freed us from our sins. Yes, we all have troubles. Everyone has troubles. But the unmarried woman ought to determine to get help for her troubles so that she can press on in her Christian life, and not have to drag her familyâ€™s sins or her own messed up past (or present) with herÂ into the future.How does she do this? Of course the specifics will vary with each woman, but here are a few starting principles. First, take a look at your shortcomings. What are they? If you were a character in a book you were reading, would you like the character? If not, why? What sort of transformation needs to take place? What does the Bible say about your situation? If you are not sure, do a Bible search. Use a concordance. Do a little Bible study yourself. Does the Bible address bitterness? Yes. Adultery? Yes. Shoplifting? Yes. Godâ€™s Word addresses everything. If there are sins you need to repent of, think about how to make restitution for them. You may need to seek forgiveness from your parents, from a friend, a teacher, or a boss. You may need to pay old debts off, return stolen goods, or confess to cheating on a test. This is simply taking care of business.If you need help, go to your pastor and get his advice and counsel on how to proceed. The important thing here is that you are making every effort to progress in your Christian walk and not putting things off. We all underestimate the polluting effects of sin in our lives; determine to put to death all sin by the power of the Spirit. That means, according to Colossians 3:1-10, putting your affection on Christ and putting off things like sexual impurity, anger, lying, covetousness, and filthy talk. The unmarried woman cannot afford to be complacent about sin anymore than anyone else can. And if you have managed to camouflage some of your sin so that your friends donâ€™t see it, you cannot hide it from God. Deal with it all by the grace of God. Sin is a weight and a hindrance and needs to be confessed and forsaken. Forgiveness is freedom and life. Donâ€™t rename the sin, call it what it is. Donâ€™t excuse or justify the sin, confess it. And donâ€™t put it off any longer. Life is too short. Get on to the next chapter in the book.