I mentioned some time back that we have twin grandbabies coming, probably in November, Lord willing. My daughter has blossomed into a beautiful sight, inciting frequent comments from total strangers. She is regularly asked when she is due by people who think it must be any minute (given her shape). When she confesses to a December due-date, there are gasps of astonishment and the occasional “Holy Smoke!” She feels compelled to say in her defense, there are TWO in there. But she has had some real prize-winning comments, most of which I am not at liberty to share, but a couple that I feel it is safe to repeat.
From the barista: “If I were you I would be hating my life right now. I would so shoot my husband.” Given such a great attitude, my daughter asked her on the spot to be her birth coach.
From the manager of the gym: “Poor your body.” We really felt it would have been more appropriate to offer her a free membership. Nothing like a little uplifting comment!
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Sheesh. I hope she’s getting lots of positive comments, too. Like, “Two at once! How marvelously efficient of you!”
Having been pregnant eight times, I’ve gotten some doozies, too. My favorite: “Who brainwashed you?” Nice.
But poor them. They miss out on the secret of the blessing of children!
We had triplets. When they were born we had a 6yr old (now at NSA!) and an 18 month old. Sometimes things were a little hectic, but oh the joys of having your own built in playgroup!
People are sometimes so insensitive. I’m five months pregnant with my second right now and my first is only 8 months old. I get so many questions about whether or not this one was “planned.” I just try to remember that they simply cannot understand without rethinking their entire worldview. Still it is hard not to get angry or sarcastic when such personal matters are raised…especially when I’m functioning on 3 hours of sleep!
You could just smile and admit that since you were a little girl you’ve always preferred surprises.
I’d love to hear your daughter’s responses to her pregnancy inquiries. I have several myself (I just had my 4th child in June). This pregnancy I was actually looking forward to the opportunity of inflicting my wit (ha!) upon unsuspecting and all too curious strangers. Some of my comments are too unpublishable as well, but they made for great laughter with my husband. I was afforded more opportunites though to be cheerful about my progeny, and to the honest souls I encountered happy for me, I was happy to be gracious.
Looking forward to reading more of your blog! Are you going to have a forum so we can perhaps suggest topics? Perhaps not, but you’re essays always make for good reading, especially when my brain needs to refocus on the common duties of life with joy rather than pathos. Keep up the good work!
I always got “Are ther TWO in there?!” when I was only carrying one. (I get BIG!) Oh, the things people say! My biggest pet peeve, though, is when complete strangers come up and TOUCH your belly! I finally got brazen enough with my last baby just to reach out and touch theirs back! 🙂
Natalie, I like the surprises response but I’ll get hammered for having found out the sex. People tend to be rather opinionated about that one too. I like finding out (two boys!) but some think of it as a violation of the ‘natural’ approach.
I’ve found that simply ignoring a rude question works but confess to trying the witty approach on occasion. It usually ends up making someone feel uncomfortable.
Billie…I get pretty big too (bigger than all my pregnant friends) even though I’m not a large person and those comments have been the hardest for me to take. Also the touching is absurd. I did have one gentleman (family friend) explain that it was hard for him not to touch just because he gets so excited about the new life. So I guess that’s a case of right attitude…wrong display.
I blame the size of my belly on my height. 🙂 I’m just a runt, so there’s no room for the baby to grow but out. Taller people have room for the baby to grow up. I remember with my first, I measured up how high all the books said my belly would grow and asking my husband, “Will you still think I’m pretty when I’m carrying a baby in my eyeballs?” 🙂
That’s funny. I blame my shape too. I’m 5’7″ but have a very slim build so there’s no room for the baby to hide in my frame…it’s not a bad problem to have 🙂 I find it interesting how freely people discuss pregnancy when a relatively short time ago it was unmentionable in our culture. Altogether I prefer the openness but wish for more tact. Anyway, the more cheerful we are in our demeanor while pregnant (especially when others are rude) the better we represent our theology of children as blessings.
I was pregnant with my third before my second was a year old, and my first was only three. One day while visiting my parents’ church, a lady looked me up and down and said, “Are you pregnant!?” (At six months along, the answer was fairly obvious.) I said yes. After asking me how old my second child was, and me answering, she said, trying to comfort me, “Well, don’t worry, honey. It will be okay. God can work it out.” I also had lots of (rude) inquiries as to whether this would be my last if it were a boy, or “How many kids are you going to have!” It amazes me how complete strangers or people I barely know feel free to share their commentary on my life situation. I agree that we should remain cheerful and positive when faced with comments like these. I usually just say, “As many as God wants to give us!” smile, and move on from there. May God bless the rest of your pregnancy and give you two healthy babies to add a new colorful dimension to your life.
Hello your post is funny.
I will definitely read your site..
bye
Do we get a picture? 😉
From an identical twin…
What great responses! Our oldest is 3 and we just had our 3rd baby in July. When I went in for my postpartum check-up the PA asked if I wanted the BC pill. I refused, but when she asked how many children we wanted (we’d like quite a few more) she asked if she could prescribe me an anti-psychotic drug. I wish I was quick enough to say something witty.