So you want to be in a courtship, but there is no one around who is interesting and/or interested. What can be done about this? If I had the answer to that question, and if I could sell it in a package, I would be rich. (Which is why dating services are big business.)
Though I can’t offer such a product, I can offer a few suggestions which I hope will be helpful to you. The first thing is to keep your perspective on marriage realistic and biblical. In your thinking, do not let marriage become an end rather than a means. Marriage is a means of glorifying God, not an end in itself. Determine to use your unmarried state as a means of glorifying God as well, and don’t allow marriage to become something other than what it is in the created order. In other words, don’t let it become an idol, something that has way too much importance to you, so that you believe you are only half a person or that you are being held back spiritually because of your unmarried state. This is another way of saying, determine to be a contented Christian woman while you are unmarried. Marriage is not a secret society for the more spiritual; it is not an achievement or a trophy.
At the same time (and this is like learning to juggle), marriage is one of God’s good gifts and it follows that we should desire His good gifts. So desire all you want, but keep those desires in line. Burroughs explains in his book on contentment that we think we can get contentment by adding (if God added marriage, then I would be content). But he says that rather we get it by subtracting: we get our desires down to our circumstances rather than trying to get our circumstances up to our desires. So while praying for marriage, cultivate a true satisfaction with God’s will in your life. Submit to His purpose and plan, whatever that is, with joy and thanksgiving. He will bless this attitude and it is good practice for life. We all know of discontent married women, and I believe it would have helped them tremendously if they had learned contentment before they entered the married state.
What kind of man do you want to marry? A good question to follow this one is, what kind of woman would that kind of man want to marry? Are you that kind of woman? What can you do to become that kind of woman? These are helpful questions to process.
Next piece of advice: be fruitful. Whatever God has called you to do right now, do it eagerly and with thanksgiving. Look around and find ways to be productive; don’t be waiting around for the next thing. Get out and about. Look for opportunities and use your gifts. Cultivate your gifts. Learn some new things. Get to know all kinds of people in the community, and don’t be afraid to get out of your comfort zone. If some friends want to introduce you to “someone,” don’t be shy. But don’t be overpowered and manipulated either.
And finally, though I know there is much more to be said on this subject, remind yourself that God is good. He is not punishing you. He is not like that, so do not malign His character by thinking such things. He has good planned for you and not evil. Trust Him with your life. Serve Him with all you have. He will never leave you or forsake you, in marriage or out. So believe Him. That is what faith does.