I know that everyone in the world right now is freaking out about the Doug Philips scandal, and to be honest, the whole thing grosses me out so much that I don’t even want to read about it. And given that I don’t even want to read about it, I’m certainly not going to pull up my socks and start writing about it. But the whole situation has given me some food for thought, and that is on the question of how to raise our daughters so that they don’t fall prey to the manipulations of that kind of man – because those kind of men are found the world over, not merely in patriarchal conservative groups. Is your daughter ever likely to encounter more than three men in the course of her life? Then she will encounter this kind of man. So how do we teach our daughters to be submissive but also strong? To be gracious but also quick to say no?

I have three daughters, all of whom are are now closer to “young lady” than “little girl,” so this isn’t a hypothetical question for me! Here are some of the things that have been bouncing around in my head on this question, in no particular order – things that are very much at the front of my mind as I watch these lovely girls grow up. Read More

1 Timothy 5:13 is a warning to women about the sins that come with having too much time on your hands. I know how absurd this may sound to many of you: Did you say too much time? Oh what would that be like?? In the midst of a crowded day of caring for children and running a household, it seems impossible. But that is actually Paul’s point in the following verses. In order to keep from idleness and gossip and being a busybody, he recommends that women bear children and manage the house. In other words, fruitful labor is a protection from many temptations. Idleness is a set up to stumble.

When we are idle, we are tempted to entertain ourselves with other people’s business, and sometimes other people are all too eager to share their business with us. The women Paul was concerned about were “wandering about from house to house, saying things which they ought not” (vs. 13). Of course today, we have the tools at our fingertips to check in on other people’s business while never leaving our home. In fact, we have the Read More

So I had a special request from someone that I write a little something about raising older daughters. “Older” in this case means something more along the lines of upper elementary age . . . I don’t yet have any teenage girls. (But when I do I’ll have them in spades . . . my girls will be 13,14, and 15 all at the same time!)

“Daughters” is kind of a big topic actually, and a whole lot of things spring to mind. I’m not even going to try to say everything all at once – I thought maybe I should pick away at it and just mention a couple of things right now.

The first thing I thought of is “foolishness.” This is something that we’ve worked on from the time our girls were very small – it’s not only relevant to older girls. However, I’ve been very grateful that we have been working on it for years . . . because we’re now hitting the age where this category actually matters. Basically, you reap what you sow. You harvest what you plant and tend. If you don’t want a harvest of foolishness when your daughter is grown, don’t tolerate foolishness when it’s small. Picture a garden. That enormous stink-weed there amongst the lettuce didn’t just appear there overnight. It started out as a seedling, and you let it grow for months and months. Not only did you neglect to pull it up, you probably watered it diligently every day. If you don’t want the big stink-weed, learn to recognize the little baby stink-weeds and get rid of them as they appear. Hint: they don’t look nearly so dire when they’re smaller. They might possibly even be cute. But they’re much, much easier to pull up when they’re small and cute. Read More

Now that I wrote that clever title above, I see that you could take it two ways. And, coincidentally, that’s what this post is really about: moron parents. Some time ago I wrote something about daughters obeying their parents, even when they disagree with those parents, and then I had a follow-up post which got quarantined to the draft pile. That’s why this may seem out of nowhere. But, back to parents.  Sad to say, shocking as it is, grievous as it is, some parents are demanding, self-centered, and idiotic nincompoops (noun; a fool or simpleton; origin 1670-80). And I do pity anyone who has parents like this.

However, all that said, a daughter with parents like this can still find ways to honor and obey them. It may be hard, but if she asks God for ways to be a submissive daughter, that is a prayer that will be answered. But if they are doing bone-headed awful things, then she should get some help.

For example, if  parents are seriously trying to marry a daughter off to a man she doesn’t want to marry, I have already mentioned (in a comment in the original post on this) that she should call the pastor. In all the scads of weddings my husband has performed, he has never detected reluctance on the part of the bride. (I think I remember a groom with cold feet, but he got over it.) If my husband thought a daughter was being leaned on by her parents to marry the guy, he would in no way perform the wedding. And he would do all in his power to get the parents to straighten up. Good grief! Read More