A true believer lives upon free grace as his necessary food. And indeed, he who has really tasted the sweetness of grace, can live upon nothing else. -Augustus Toplady
Silence is Golden
It is indeed a great piece of self-denial to be silent when we have enough to say, and provocation to say it; but if we do thus control our tongues, out of a pure regard for peace and love, it will turn to a good account and will be an evidence for us that we are Christ’s disciples, having learned to deny ourselves. It is better to yield to our brother, who is, or has been, or may be, our friend, than by angry speaking to yield to the devil, who has been, and is, and ever will be, our sworn enemy. -Matthew Henry, The Quest for Meekness and Quietness of Spirit
First Duties
I’ve written a bunch on the duty of wives to respect their husbands, but as I live through the different stages of my own marriage, it astounds me how applicable God’s instructions are to all of us all the time. So I’m assuming another whack at it can’t hurt. New wives learn to respect their husbands to start off on the right foot; young wives with children find that their husbands need respect more than ever as they learn how to be a godly head of a home, as the two of them bring up their children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord; middle-aged wives can delight in respecting their husbands as they navigate through the empty nest years. And I am assuming that old age will only be better. God’s commands are not a burden; and the woman who has been respecting her husband for a few decades has made a significant contribution toward the peace, comfort, and joy of her marriage. All that respect is like money in the bank that is drawing a lot of interest. God always blesses obedience, and a woman is obeying God when she respects her husband. In many situations where marriage tangles are difficult to sort out, respect will only be a help to the situation, not a hindrance. And I do think some husbands are running on fumes and have been for many years. A little respect would probably bowl them right over.
The Bible tells wives to see that they respect their own husbands. I’d like to point out a couple of obvious things about both passages (in Eph. 5:22,33) and Col. 3:18). First of all, it tells the wives to see that they are doing this. It is not given to the husbands to see that their wives are doing this. Wives are to monitor themselves on this duty. Second, wives are to submit to and respect their own husbands, not anyone else’s. This is not a command to women in general to be submissive to men in general. No, you are to be in submission to one man: your husband. This protects you from all those other men. This is why I encourage unmarried women to think hard about whether they respect a man before they agree to marry him. Will you be able to respect him in five, ten, and twenty years? Women can marry men they do not respect, and they do it all the time. This means the command will be burdensome to them. But a woman who marries a man she can look up to, trust, and admire, will not find it a challenge to respect her husband.
Dealing With Sin
Note: This is part of a chapter for a book for unmarried women, so they are singled out in this article, but not because married women don’t have the same kinds of problems. The point I am making here is that unmarried women have the opportunity to get a lot of things straightened out before they are married. No time like the present. And no, I am not in any way suggesting that marriage is a reward for holiness. If that were the case, no one would be married.Â
I mentioned earlier that when women worry, it is as though they are taking ugly pills. All sin of every kind destroys us, but some sin really can make us visibly unattractive. Anxiety and bitterness are like that. A peaceful woman, with a gentle and quiet spirit, is beautiful, but a woman with a disrupted spirit gets uglier and uglier.It is very popular today to have “issues,” to be depressed, or to come from a “dysfunctional” family. This is actually hip and cool. But sin in all forms is ugly, ugly, ugly. Real troubles have real biblical solutions (though some may be very difficult), but some women find security in having hang-ups and troubles. It gives them a story, provides an identity for them. But we should find our identity in Christ. He has freed us from our sins. Yes, we all have troubles. Everyone has troubles. But the unmarried woman ought to determine to get help for her troubles so that she can press on in her Christian life, and not have to drag her family’s sins or her own messed up past (or present) with her Read More
Mothers’ Day Snares
After I had a few Mother’s Days under my belt, I began to suspect that the whole thing was one big set up to see how many mothers could get out of fellowship on Mothers’ Day. If it wasn’t for all our Hallmark expectations, we might just appreciate a card or a Happy Mothers’ Day hug from the kids. But, oh no, the build up is to expect breakfast in bed, flowers, cards, gifts, lunch and dinner prepared, etc. Kind of like a day in spa-ville. And this is quite a tall order for any father of little kids to pull off, and it is tough for big kids to pull off as well. Now I know there are the exceptions to the rule. But we must have our eyes open and our guards up on Mothers’ Day, lest we fall into the great temptation of disappointment.
Mothers’ Day is good. It is good to remember our mothers and thank them for all their labor that they have bestowed on us. Mothers’ Day is good for children. It is an Read More
Perspective
Here is a matter of consolation to you who are effectually called. God has magnified rich grace toward you. You are called to great honour to be co-partners with the angels, and co-heirs with Christ; this should revive you in the worst of times. Let men reproach you and miscall you; set God’s calling of you against man’s miscalling. Let men persecute you to death; they but give you a pass, and send you to heaven the sooner. How may this cure the trembling of the heart! What though the sea roar, though the earth be unquiet, though the stars are shaken out of their places, you need not fear. You are called, and therefore are sure to be crowned. – Thomas Watson, All Things For Good